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Recommended Way To Communicate/reach Out To Someone Who Is In Their Initial Phases Of Recovery?
- Post starter JayElle
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Oh that's tough. I'm in the early phases, >1 year, and I have no idea.
The people who are still in my life and know what I'm dealing with, all respect my space. I'm fortunate in that. They know if they don't hear from me that I'll check in when I come out of whatever fugue I'm in. The most they do when I isolate is a quick text, never a phone call or a random show up at my door.
Usually something light and funny will get me to respond faster, though no guarantees.
One very good friend can tell me to chill the f#@k out and I'll listen. Other people I'd react badly to that tone. It really depends on my day and emotional state. I'm sorry that's not more helpful.
The people who are still in my life and know what I'm dealing with, all respect my space. I'm fortunate in that. They know if they don't hear from me that I'll check in when I come out of whatever fugue I'm in. The most they do when I isolate is a quick text, never a phone call or a random show up at my door.
Usually something light and funny will get me to respond faster, though no guarantees.
One very good friend can tell me to chill the f#@k out and I'll listen. Other people I'd react badly to that tone. It really depends on my day and emotional state. I'm sorry that's not more helpful.
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Hi @JayElle, would you mind to be more specific in your question? What is your goal in "reaching out" to that person? Is it about a / your relationship, or do you try to understand a friend of yours? Or what exactly is the situation and what do you want to achieve? And, where are the difficulties / where the obstacles that it didn't work until now?
The more specific information you're able to give, the bigger the chances, that you'll get more helpful answers.
The more specific information you're able to give, the bigger the chances, that you'll get more helpful answers.
- Post starter
- #4
Thanks @TreeHugger here is the situation:
I was dating a woman from my hometown who developed PTSD while we were in a long-distance relationship. We dated for 6 months when she experienced a terrible sexual assault incident at her university. During the first year after the incident, we did our best to see each other often as we were 800 miles away from one other due to school. Unfortunately, her local support (family and friends) were non-existent, which made it difficult on our relationship. I encouraged her to reach out to them, but her local support just wasn’t there.
It's been a year and a half since the sexual assault incident and two years since we began dating. About four months ago, she was formally diagnosed with PTSD and entered prolonged exposure treatment immediately after we discussed the benefits of the treatment. Since then, she completed the treatment and it seems like she’s recovering successfully. Unfortunately, she pushed me away and asked for space three weeks after starting the three month long treatment. I know very little about her struggle during treatment because I respected her request for space during this time. I periodically checked in to make sure she was okay when I didn’t hear from her.
We both recently graduated from college and as of six weeks I’m living near my hometown and near her. Family is important to me so it was an easy decision to come closer to them. This isn’t to say that she wasn’t an influence. Prior to her entering treatment, we discussed having children and living together one day. I often told her that she was the love of my life and she told me the same as well.
As of the last six weeks I am geographically closer, but I feel so out of touch about her life and her progress- this is extremely painful on me. Grieving over our imagined future has been really hard on me, but I try to remain strong. After her treatment, I’ve only seen her twice – two months ago right before her graduation and three weeks ago for a quick (camp gear) exchange. The two interactions were a stark contrast from one another – when I saw her before her graduation we shared a beautiful moment together (cuddled and even kissed), but the camp gear exchange was emotionless.
In the last 10 days or so she's reached out to me more often than before. In fact, our chats via text message (we still haven't spoken on the phone or in person..) have significantly increased to every other day on average. They're brief chats, but nonetheless progress in our communication. For instance, she's asked what my plans are on a given day and if we can hang out or have dinner. Unfortunately, our schedules haven't quite aligned or things get in the way of us meeting. For instance, I will hear from her then all of a sudden she doesn't reply to any of my messages or answer my calls. This has been very disappointing for me because I really miss her. What is the best way to show her that I still care about her, miss her, and want to see her?
I was dating a woman from my hometown who developed PTSD while we were in a long-distance relationship. We dated for 6 months when she experienced a terrible sexual assault incident at her university. During the first year after the incident, we did our best to see each other often as we were 800 miles away from one other due to school. Unfortunately, her local support (family and friends) were non-existent, which made it difficult on our relationship. I encouraged her to reach out to them, but her local support just wasn’t there.
It's been a year and a half since the sexual assault incident and two years since we began dating. About four months ago, she was formally diagnosed with PTSD and entered prolonged exposure treatment immediately after we discussed the benefits of the treatment. Since then, she completed the treatment and it seems like she’s recovering successfully. Unfortunately, she pushed me away and asked for space three weeks after starting the three month long treatment. I know very little about her struggle during treatment because I respected her request for space during this time. I periodically checked in to make sure she was okay when I didn’t hear from her.
We both recently graduated from college and as of six weeks I’m living near my hometown and near her. Family is important to me so it was an easy decision to come closer to them. This isn’t to say that she wasn’t an influence. Prior to her entering treatment, we discussed having children and living together one day. I often told her that she was the love of my life and she told me the same as well.
As of the last six weeks I am geographically closer, but I feel so out of touch about her life and her progress- this is extremely painful on me. Grieving over our imagined future has been really hard on me, but I try to remain strong. After her treatment, I’ve only seen her twice – two months ago right before her graduation and three weeks ago for a quick (camp gear) exchange. The two interactions were a stark contrast from one another – when I saw her before her graduation we shared a beautiful moment together (cuddled and even kissed), but the camp gear exchange was emotionless.
In the last 10 days or so she's reached out to me more often than before. In fact, our chats via text message (we still haven't spoken on the phone or in person..) have significantly increased to every other day on average. They're brief chats, but nonetheless progress in our communication. For instance, she's asked what my plans are on a given day and if we can hang out or have dinner. Unfortunately, our schedules haven't quite aligned or things get in the way of us meeting. For instance, I will hear from her then all of a sudden she doesn't reply to any of my messages or answer my calls. This has been very disappointing for me because I really miss her. What is the best way to show her that I still care about her, miss her, and want to see her?
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