Release Of Rapist & Therapy

[Bs3lht]

I'm not really sure where this post belongs.

I've been on a 3 month break from therapy, I'd been in treatment for 2 years, had done some really successful EMDR & trauma work. 6 months ago I had a baby, entered a new phase of my marriage & it became quite clear that now wasn't the time for therapy & my T advised me to take a break & email her in 3 months time to see how I'm doing.

That 3 months is almost up. I love being a mummy but life is different & I don't necessarily feel the need to be back in therapy, my T & I know there is stuff left to process but when the time is right.

I was doing OK. My rapist was sentenced to 12 years in prison, with a minimum term of 8 years in 2011 but the Victim's Information Service & Family Liaison Officer have been in touch to tell me his minimum term has been cut, he's been recategorised & is looking at making a parole application.

My T said she would always support me through the release stuff, how it will affect me, now my child, how I can protect myself. 8 years seemed so long ago 5 years ago.

I guess I'm wondering what you would do? Would you email & let her know what's going on? Would you ask for a face to face session to figure things out?
It's making me so anxious but I'm also scared she won't support me through this like she said she would.

Sorry for the ramble,

Thank you

 

[ShodokanJenn]

I think you should email her and let her know. If she doesn't know, she won't support you. At least give her the chance to keep her word. Maybe a face-to-face would help. It doesn't mean you have to delve into the trauma - you can just focus on the here and now, if that's what you need.

 

[GWhizz]

Wow you've had a lot of big life changes recently, so much to take on and consider.

Firstly, congrats on your little one and glad to hear it's going well and that you were able to step away from therapy for a bit to focus on where you are needed. I had my second baby 4 months ago so can relate in some ways. When my T told me to take 6 weeks and then contact her to schedule a return session, I fully intended to do that antenatally. But life took over and only recently when I realised I wasn't coping so well anymore (that my problems hadn't disappeared just because I had put them to the back of my mind) but was in fact going downhill without supportive treatment, I plucked up the courage to contact my T again. I guess it was nice playing house for a while and pretending that certain issues weren't bothering me.

I think you're T is anticipating a call from you soon anyway so why not contact her now to reevaluate things seeing as things really have changed now? Don't prolong it until you're at breaking point like I did, that only messed up the good things in my life more. I'm sure your partner is supportive, but I really believe you need professional guidance during this tentative time. For most people there's a problem, they talk through it, work out the best way forward and move on. But those of us with PTSD, it's just not that simple. And I think that's the difference between a supportive partner/friend and a T. 5 years and therapy and it may seem like you should be over it or something. But of course things like a possible release before you even expected it (or even if you did) are going to knock you for 6.

I really hope that you can find the right amount of support through this difficult time. It must be overwhelming and I'd imagine very triggering for you right now. Feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk about anything.

G

 

[scout86]

Those are good questions. Talking to your T seems like a smart move, even if this wasn't happening. One of the things I'd be thinking about is some form of testimony before the parole board to try to keep him locked up longer, if that's possible where you live. (Good luck!)

 

[Lotis]

Hi, congratulations on your little one!! :laugh: I agree with the rest of the responses - you should contact her. Give her the chance to help you. If you have been in therapy with her for 2 years I highly doubt she will not support you. I hope you email her or call because you deserve the support through this trying time especially if you were not feeling well prior to this news.
Good luck and let us know what happens.
L

 

[EveHarrington]

I think it would be a good idea to contact your therapist.

Why do you think she wouldn't be there for you?

 

[Bs3lht]

Thank you for all the replies.

I think I knew what I had to do, but now I really need to get on & do it. I needed the reassurance.

Eve, I worry a lot about ' deserving help' & also, our last session was very bumpy, hence the break. I'm worried she 'won't take me back' & suppose feel a bit dumped by her even though I know the break was for the best & has been really good for me.