However, I wonder if those who are teetering on being banned could go on some sort of parole type program where some volunteers have to edit posts before they can be put up by the "parolee". It sounds like a lot of work I know. I realize kismet said some things that are wrong..period. I don't even agree with her on most things, however I feel her pain in her posts and am most sympathetic to power the disease has over her.
I know you didn't address this to me,
@Rumors, but I just wanted to respond with a few thoughts.
Threatening death (suicide) is a step beyond what anyone can safely deal with without having training. I believe this very deeply, and I've found it from experience. I struggle with suicide a lot. And I have had a number of failed conversations with crisis workers - people who ostensibly had training, but weren't really up for it. I've also been fortunate enough to get help from people who were very, very good at it.
There is also a difference between threatening suicide and being afraid you will commit suicide. Both are very close to terminal - but when someone is afraid, they are looking for a way other than death, and have the capacity to listen and participate in finding an alternative to suicide. When someone is threatening, they are looking to someone else to provide proof that their life is worthwhile, and do not have much capacity for listening or thinking.
Edit to add: The suicidal person is generally not consciously aware of either statement, above - they also might mix their language with threats and fears, it's an important early assessment to sort out which one is the primary thing going on.
The safest thing for a person actively threatening suicide is intervention. Intervention needs to be in a tangible form - a real person, a real place, real help. The risk of engagement is that you will accidentally wind them up further, especially if you are not the person they are seeking proof from (there is generally a target involved in a threat, sometimes general, often specific). If you can remove them from access to their trigger, safely, they will likely dissolve their intention. Sometimes this just takes having a really, really long conversation with a trained crisis worker, to distract the individual from accessing their trigger long enough so that they either can be moved into intervention or at least contract for safety for a period of time.
In person is more effective than phone; phone is far more effective than text. Text rarely 'clicks' for anything other than encouraging someone to get to a phone, or get to a person for more help.
While someone is in a suicidal state, there are a whole bunch of things they can't do, and a biggie is problem-solve. That's why this:
If you would consider putting her on probation I would offer to be her probation officer...that is actually pretty scary lol...maybe weed out some of the negative thinking styles and figure out how to communicate better and in a less black and white manner?
Isn't really practical for someone who has gotten into a suicidal state, as itskismet did.
I really believe in the rule, here, prohibiting suicidal statements. They are unbelievably upsetting to encounter, and ultimately cannot be dealt with effectively in any way by the forum. A suicidal person needs to hear one voice, be in one dialogue, and be talking to someone with an intimate understanding of the types of suicidal reasoning.
We allow intense suicidal ideation on the forum, and that does help people; having a place where you can write about it without being afraid of getting locked up, being able to hear from others that they have been there, all this is statistically (and practically) therapeutic.
So, that's my ten cents (can't call it two, it's way too long) on why its actually the safest option - for the individual and for the forum - to take a strong stance when someone engages in suicidal posting. Even then, it takes two clearly worded, intentional suicidal posts for someone to automatically be temp-banned.
I appreciate having the space to process this stuff on this thread.
