Revenge? - The Furies : Women, Vengeance, & Justice. by Elizabeth Flock



Saw this interesting piece about women using violence to fend off abuse/ change an abusive situation/ get revenge. It's quite a thoughtful piece, also addressing the high price of that, amongst other things.

I know I used my PTSD "fight" survival response to get as much "revenge" on the two perps in my life as I could/ as I felt was morally justified. I did nothing anywhere near as terrible as what they did, but I made sure that both of them paid a very high price so that they will regret ever having crossed my path and having chosen to f*ck me over for no reason.

I don't know if it was the right choice. As the interview/ book explores, it comes at a high personal price. I do think it's part of what helped me survive tho.

In other ways, it's made moving on and healing harder. I'm not sure I'd go back and change it tho. It felt important to defend myself, to be defiant, to do what I could to avenge the harm that was done.
i didn't watch the video, but? ? ? one of the raging debates in my own therapy circles is whether i am a husband beater or just a helpless little girl defending herself against the husband who is twice my size. at the veteran's administration, the domestic abuse support group just saluted my combat training, widened the circle and welcomed me aboard. they knew better than to underestimate lil ol me. the debate in the civilian support groups doesn't make much sense to me.

is my use of violence under domestic fire different from my brothers-in-arms? to each their own judgement. i'm still leaning on my brothers-in-arms when the domestic skirmishes commence. the empowered barbies are a bit to quick with the lawyer referral cards for my taste.

but that is me and every case is unique. steadying support while you sort your own case.
I very much wanted revenge after my sexual abuse. I wanted it so badly, but I couldn't figure out a way to have it without destroying my own life in the process. But I am well aware that to some people, upending one's own life doesn't matter as long as they can avenge themselves.

Now, after years of healing, if someone offered me the ability to have revenge without any consequences to myself ... I wouldn't bother.