Rewriting dreams? Might work for some.

DogTired

Silver Member
The Story first.
I nearly flipped today when I got a call from a NEW therapist I have never seen or talked to, who wants me to rewrite my nightmares with a happy ending.
He went on, "Then, when I next fight that nightmare, it won't worry me as it will have a "Happy Ending"."

That might work for some people and if it does I'm well pleased for them.
Me? Na, and I have tried that on loads of occasions over 30 plus years.

My reasonable side then gave him a chance and I read out one of my nightmares from my dream journal.
It ends, "We couldn't save any of the 7 adults and 5 children, and that is what still distresses me"

Then I asked him, "Now, please rewrite that ending for me so it turns out happy".
A funny thing happened then. After a long pause, the phone disconnected at his end.
It's been 12 hours, no calls.

I knew from my peer group that things had got bad over the last five years in the UK regarding therapy but this was not on.
For me, it's usually SOP to get to know someone, their background, previous life, and therapy history.
Also the why, the what, and how long it's been troubling them.
Just launching into a directive as it's going to stop the nightmares smacks of . . . . .

Woah! SWMBO just said, "Don't you dare say that!".
(Perfect answer for a happy marriage? "Yes Dear".)

Over to you.
 
The Story first.
I nearly flipped today when I got a call from a NEW therapist I have never seen or talked to, who wants me to rewrite my nightmares with a happy ending.
He went on, "Then, when I next fight that nightmare, it won't worry me as it will have a "Happy Ending"."

That might work for some people and if it does I'm well pleased for them.
Me? Na, and I have tried that on loads of occasions over 30 plus years.

My reasonable side then gave him a chance and I read out one of my nightmares from my dream journal.
It ends, "We couldn't save any of the 7 adults and 5 children, and that is what still distresses me"

Then I asked him, "Now, please rewrite that ending for me so it turns out happy".
A funny thing happened then. After a long pause, the phone disconnected at his end.
It's been 12 hours, no calls.

I knew from my peer group that things had got bad over the last five years in the UK regarding therapy but this was not on.
For me, it's usually SOP to get to know someone, their background, previous life, and therapy history.
Also the why, the what, and how long it's been troubling them.
Just launching into a directive as it's going to stop the nightmares smacks of . . . . .

Woah! SWMBO just said, "Don't you dare say that!".
(Perfect answer for a happy marriage? "Yes Dear".)

Over to you.
Update. This is getting interesting. No one knows If 'my' therapist is coming back.
Meanwhile the new therapist ISN'T a therapist at all, just a mental health vet support nurse.
It maybe a little bit early to draw a conclusion, but methinks this smacks of SNAFU.
 
i share your skepticism of rewriting dreams. a dream journal helped me tremendously in calming my epic nightmares, but lucid dreaming is a tad bit hard to buy. the main two benefits i reaped from the dream journal were 1) calming the post nightmare hysteria. 2) offering clues to where my most infected wounds were hiding.

for what it's worth
my most effective therapist at the u.s. veteran's administration was a nurse practitioner. she went on to get a doctoral, but stayed in her nurse practitioner role. claimed it gave her far more patient interaction than doctors have the luxury of. she started up several innovative programs while she was at it. most of the doctors were closer to drug dealers than healers.
 
i share your skepticism of rewriting dreams. a dream journal helped me tremendously in calming my epic nightmares, but lucid dreaming is a tad bit hard to buy. the main two benefits i reaped from the dream journal were 1) calming the post nightmare hysteria. 2) offering clues to where my most infected wounds were hiding.

for what it's worth
my most effective therapist at the u.s. veteran's administration was a nurse practitioner. she went on to get a doctoral, but stayed in her nurse practitioner role. claimed it gave her far more patient interaction than doctors have the luxury of. she started up several innovative programs while she was at it. most of the doctors were closer to drug dealers than healers.
Thanks for the reply. Yep, SWMBO started me on my dream journal, and it has sort of made a difference on minor stuff.
However, it had a really nasty effect on our relationship for a while as SWMBO read the journal without me being there.
Up to then she had no idea what I had experienced or done.
Good news is we're OK now after my MH team gave her a crash course in managing my combat PTSD, and she spoke to a bud's wife who was also having to deal with her husbands PTSD

As for white coats? I've often found that those who work for a living have "better" people skills than doctors BUT even they have to toe the official doctrine line on care that comes down from Gerbils with a fancy title.

As for drug peddling? Oh yeah, know exactly where that one comes from.
That was the first "doctors" approach. Bomb me into slug mode and declare me better.

Only it didn't work as I weened myself off his sh*t and presented at the next outpatients with a handful of his drugs "gently encouraging him" to swallow them and see how he felt. He must have pressed a magic button because two security appeared and escorted me out.
 
Ah yes, the good old dream completion technique. Didn’t work for me either, or maybe I just never got it.

I was like well I can’t tell you in advance what nightmare I’m going to have. So I can’t tell you in advance how to rewrite what I’ve not yet had?

But also - I know how it ends. I can fantasy all I damn like but when I wake up sweating and shaking I know perfectly well what happened and it didn’t end in fairy shits and sprinkles.


Only it didn't work as I weened myself off his sh*t and presented at the next outpatients with a handful of his drugs "gently encouraging him" to swallow them and see how he felt. He must have pressed a magic button because two security appeared and escorted me out.
🙌🙌 kudos. Don’t like the drug them into submission approach either.
 
it had a really nasty effect on our relationship for a while as SWMBO read the journal without me being there.
Up to then she had no idea what I had experienced or done.
may i pause for a moment of envy? my HWMBO has full permission to read my journal and doesn't. it's possible i gave him permission because i knew he would not. he is a HWMBO, after all. he is above researching the subjects he is demanding obedience from. that is no strain on the relationship, though. HWMBOs will be HWMBOs. i take road trips when he is getting TOO bossy.
As for drug peddling? Oh yeah, know exactly where that one comes from.
That was the first "doctors" approach. Bomb me into slug mode and declare me better.
that nurse practitioner i worked with was working with a specialty-forgotten doctor who prescribed drugs based on the nurse practitioners reports. when i attempted to talk about my case, the doctor grabbed a ball cap from the desk, put it on backwards and drawled in ghetto slang, "hey, lady, i just give you the drugs." the two had a very interesting relationship.

for what it's worth
i didn't stay on those drugs long enough to form an addiction, but they were very helpful in helping me establish an emotional baseline to shoot for in therapy. at that point in herstory, my mood swings were vicious and unpredictable.
 
Hey Dogtired. Another UK resident here struggling under a mental health system that doesn't know how to help amd doesn't have the staff to deal with " heavy" cases.
I can't tell you how frustrated I am by the whole system. I'm on mild sedatives that means the nightmares stopped for a whole three weeks but are back with a vengeance. I've learned to survive through my own gritted teeth because the little help that is offered is few and far between. Just finished my third course of self esteem counselling and I'm now allowed some counselling that's a little deeper. Apparently at the age of 60 they have decided I have BPD why? Because it's the only therapy they provide. It's an old system that doesn't care other than to tick a box and put you in it. I know it doesn't fit me at all but if I refuse it then I am in the wrong. What's a girl to do to get real help when I cannot afford private?
 

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