No Folded Hands
Bronze Member
How many are old enough to recognize the reference? Don't worry if you don't...you'll get clues!
All I want is to be left alone
In my average home
But why do I always feel
Like I'm in the twilight zone
(I always feel like
Somebody's watching me)
And I have no privacy
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Tell me, is it just a dream
Ah, back when I was young...I remember there was this hilarious pean to paranoia. The video that went with it was funnier than all get-out...I'm happy to see someone put it up on youtube and now a new generation is enjoying it.
When I'm in the shower
I'm afraid to wash my hair
'Cause I might open my eyes
And find someone standing there
People say I'm crazy
Just a little touched
But maybe showers remind me
Of Psycho too much
On the other hand, it's kinda funny how much sense some of the lyrics make now. They weren't written seriously, but, they sure do apply to...oh, a lot of the things I've become familiar woth in myself and other vets disabled with this psych condition. They just call 'em "triggers" instead of saying they remind us...
(Who's watching me)
I don't know anymore
Are the neighbors watching me
(Who's watching)
Well, is the mailman watching me
(Tell me, who's watching)
And I don't feel safe anymore
Oh, what a mess
I wonder who's watching me now
(Who)
The IRS!?
Downright upsetting, the things that can happen not from our disability, but from the perceptions of others without it. Things like seeing it as a reason to expell us from educational programs. Like being terrified of us "going postal", to use another categorizing phrase, with the nearest M-16, for no reason. Like firing us for being scary dangerous types after allowing a co-worker to deliberately repeatedly hit our "triggers" and physcially lock us from leaving the situation until we stand and toss a chair against the wall (in the direction AWAY from the coworker and all other people in the area). Like categorizing the single veteran in the neighborhood as an a**h*le when he yells at and scares the ten year old who came inside his fence without asking permission, to retrieve the baseball that just smacked against his house. Downright upsetting, when a govenment agency removes a certificate required for a job or cherished activity on an anonymus 4th hand tip from someone who admittedly had no direct knowledge of any problem and has never even met or spoken with us (as indeed is true also of the 3rd hand in the telephone like information chain). Worst when that removal, even if it is reversed, even if it is proved to be founded on inaccurate information, stays in our records forever and therefore not just might but will have consequences.
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
So ? who can it be
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Who's watching me?
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Who's playing tricks on me?
Even knowing the answers to all three questions doesn't mean the PTSD disabled vet can get a fair shake. Unfortunately, it also doesn't mean he or she can prevent it from happening to other veterans with the same disability. (Or to any nonveteran, ditto.)
Somehow, it isn't funny anymore.
And I don't want to be left alone in my average home. I want to be left alone in terms of expecting either that I can be "normal" if I just decide to be or that I am Public Enemy Number One and should therefore be restricted from everything imaginable important to me just because I have this disability. :P
All I want is to be left alone
In my average home
But why do I always feel
Like I'm in the twilight zone
(I always feel like
Somebody's watching me)
And I have no privacy
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Tell me, is it just a dream
Ah, back when I was young...I remember there was this hilarious pean to paranoia. The video that went with it was funnier than all get-out...I'm happy to see someone put it up on youtube and now a new generation is enjoying it.
When I'm in the shower
I'm afraid to wash my hair
'Cause I might open my eyes
And find someone standing there
People say I'm crazy
Just a little touched
But maybe showers remind me
Of Psycho too much
On the other hand, it's kinda funny how much sense some of the lyrics make now. They weren't written seriously, but, they sure do apply to...oh, a lot of the things I've become familiar woth in myself and other vets disabled with this psych condition. They just call 'em "triggers" instead of saying they remind us...
(Who's watching me)
I don't know anymore
Are the neighbors watching me
(Who's watching)
Well, is the mailman watching me
(Tell me, who's watching)
And I don't feel safe anymore
Oh, what a mess
I wonder who's watching me now
(Who)
The IRS!?
Downright upsetting, the things that can happen not from our disability, but from the perceptions of others without it. Things like seeing it as a reason to expell us from educational programs. Like being terrified of us "going postal", to use another categorizing phrase, with the nearest M-16, for no reason. Like firing us for being scary dangerous types after allowing a co-worker to deliberately repeatedly hit our "triggers" and physcially lock us from leaving the situation until we stand and toss a chair against the wall (in the direction AWAY from the coworker and all other people in the area). Like categorizing the single veteran in the neighborhood as an a**h*le when he yells at and scares the ten year old who came inside his fence without asking permission, to retrieve the baseball that just smacked against his house. Downright upsetting, when a govenment agency removes a certificate required for a job or cherished activity on an anonymus 4th hand tip from someone who admittedly had no direct knowledge of any problem and has never even met or spoken with us (as indeed is true also of the 3rd hand in the telephone like information chain). Worst when that removal, even if it is reversed, even if it is proved to be founded on inaccurate information, stays in our records forever and therefore not just might but will have consequences.
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
So ? who can it be
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Who's watching me?
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Who's playing tricks on me?
Even knowing the answers to all three questions doesn't mean the PTSD disabled vet can get a fair shake. Unfortunately, it also doesn't mean he or she can prevent it from happening to other veterans with the same disability. (Or to any nonveteran, ditto.)
Somehow, it isn't funny anymore.
And I don't want to be left alone in my average home. I want to be left alone in terms of expecting either that I can be "normal" if I just decide to be or that I am Public Enemy Number One and should therefore be restricted from everything imaginable important to me just because I have this disability. :P
