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Running

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VioletButterfly

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I talked about this with my T today. She told me to follow my instinct and that is to "flat out run." She told me to follow the next instinct, the one not driven by fears. I totally get that, but "running" is what my first instinct is. The second piece of advice that my subconscious offers up is at the opposite extreme - to "stand in the rain" and "trust in God." I have also tried this, but I'm still in the same pickle(s) in life. So, I'd ask you, have you found that running or standing in the rain works best? How do I do this? Am I being impatient? Am I doing it wrong? I'm working hard on this right now, but not trusting myself and have a tertiary grasp on my faith as a result as I feel that I'm failing. I go to/watch sermons and feel so comforted, but them I'm alone with all of the "crap" so want to run to addictions. I just seem to run from A to B to C to D and get no where except where I began - lost. The reference to stand in the rain is from a song by SuperChick. I'm just not sure I'm not drowning at this point. I just feel lost and without a lighthouse. VB
 
Sometimes the best reaction is no reaction. Faced with the options you're running to or from, long pause. Curb impulse. I think it would help me more if I did this too on an emotional upset level. If that nanosecond could be extended to even a full minute where you can be calm, try to be rational. It's a huge challenge sometimes. Breeeeatttthhhhe.
 
I've done some thinking about this. I think I've added another dimension to my understanding - and that would be not physically running as I was originally thinking, but numbing out as well. Sitting with my feelings and accepting myself and where I am at in my life. I think I tried to articulate about acceptance in another post, but got lost in my own stressed out mind. So, I have to ask myself how I can stand in the rain of my feelings instead of running into numbness. I think I'm getting to a point, but I've stumbled a bit and need to think /write/talk a bit more about it. I see my T on Monday, so maybe I can bring it up then again. I hear you on the "breathe" for a moment, especially when thinking, feeling, and acting all seem to be one fluid motion instead of three different things. VB
 
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