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Sufferer Saying hello here - Long thought I had PTSD but just Dx’d last year.

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So glad to find this forum!! Had long thought I had PTSD but never had a diagnosis until last year when I turned 40.

Last year I nearly died after quitting drinking suddenly. (Was drinking WAY to much in excess to numb away the memories of past traumas/fresh pain etc)

So last year was the first time a psychiatrist ever spent real time to speak with me.
My diagnosis was given as only PTSD. She mentioned SSRI's could help, but relayed to her that I knew they make me suicidal so luckily was not forced to take meds that harmed me like they did in the past.

Have had a Kaiser therapist dump me when I said I was suicidal. She said I was fine and cancelled me from ever coming back. So I even have issues trying to get help.

Reconnected with an old friend at the same time as my diagnosis who also has PTSD.
I was surprised that she had been prescribed cannabis by a Dr. for her PTSD. Since smoking is not something I can do without intense pain, I tried gummies with THC/CBD and
it is the only reason I am able to go to bed happy, and wake up with hope now. (Living in California, it is legal or I would be too afraid to try!) OLLY SLEEP Melatonin has been a godsend to stop my night terrors that were always waking me up screaming "NOOOOO!", during a night terror that too closely mimicked my own life experiences. I know it's the OLLY that helps because as soon as I forget to take it, the waking up screaming comes back.

My work life is my most highly functioning aspect of my life. While I do enjoy life alone hiking/kayaking/cooking alone just fine... but ache for the safety net of just one safe close intimate partner. That search almost always winds up with another trauma experience. Had to call the police on the last fella that made me believe he wanted a long term relationship.

My mind and body is so tired from the fright or flight response I so often go through.

~Joy
 
Welcome! Hope you find the forum as helpful as I have. People from all over the world and yet we have so many things in common.

Support, validation, encouragement, listening, and resources. It's all here. Take your time learning your way around. Many threads that you may relate to and find yourself not feeling so alone on this journey.

I prefer solitude too. Since Covid, I find myself being overwhelmed by all the movement and sound.

Glad you found us. Sorry for the reasons you needed this place, but feel you will be surprised at how much it helps all the things that hurt. And we even laugh here too. Great threads for distractions.

Hope to see you around when you get comfortable.
 
Welcome! Hope you find the forum as helpful as I have. People from all over the world and yet we have so many things in common.

Support, validation, encouragement, listening, and resources. It's all here. Take your time learning your way around. Many threads that you may relate to and find yourself not feeling so alone on this journey.

I prefer solitude too. Since Covid, I find myself being overwhelmed by all the movement and sound.

Glad you found us. Sorry for the reasons you needed this place, but feel you will be surprised at how much it helps all the things that hurt. And we even laugh here too. Great threads for distractions.

Hope to see you around when you get comfortable.

Thank you ladee!

Was diving into the thread about where memories are stored, and how writing about the trauma can help so much. This place seems like night and day compared to when I would try to finally share with people close to me. I was always met with either silence, "that's too much", "don't tell anyone about it", "or "why are you still thinking about it?" when I would seek help. Thank you so much for such a warm welcome!!!
 
We talk and share about everything here @AdventureForLife and are met with understanding. And you will meet people here and read them and be shaking your head 'yes' for a lot of what you read. Helps so much to be heard and understood.

Hope you find healing here. I know I have. It may get overwhelming sometimes the things you read, just take what you need and leave the rest. You might take a break and regroup. Just letting you know it gets REAL here. It was what I needed and still need.

It helps to know we are not alone. Makes a huge difference.
 
Welcome to the site @AdventureForLife. I think you will find a lot of understanding and validation here. I know I have. I've made some good friends here and done a lot of healing over my time as a member here. I am sorry that you would need a place like this but I am glad you found us. Take your time learning your way around the site and I will hopefully chat with you more after you have had some time to explore and get comfortable.

Wishing you the best,

Lionheart
 
We talk and share about everything here @AdventureForLife and are met with understanding. And you will meet people here and read them and be shaking your head 'yes' for a lot of what you read. Helps so much to be heard and understood.

Hope you find healing here. I know I have. It may get overwhelming sometimes the things you read, just take what you need and leave the rest. You might take a break and regroup. Just letting you know it gets REAL here. It was what I needed and still need.

It helps to know we are not alone. Makes a huge difference.

That truly warms my heart. It is appreciated more than I can properly convey. Very glad for you that you found healing here.

It is wonderful when we as humans seek to support and uplift, instead of tear down or neglect.

There was a thread that helped me breath a sigh of relief, one where a moderator said that there is no need to post "trigger warning". There was something comforting about knowing anything we share doesn't need to come with a warning label.

Hi @AdventureForLife, welcome to the site.🙂
Thank you!!
 
This forum is full of exposure to things that are on our list to heal. Sometimes we are ready to hear the hard truth and sometimes not. Doesn't mean we aren't working for a better life, it simply means we aren't ready.

And no trigger warnings! Isn't that freeing! We all belong and we do have a voice here. Very happy to see you are looking around and finding that you can eventually be comfortable here. Right now we are strangers. Won't be long and you'll wonder why you didn't find this place a long time ago. But the time is right for you now.

Glad you are already feeling relief!!!
 
Welcome to the site @AdventureForLife. I think you will find a lot of understanding and validation here. I know I have. I've made some good friends here and done a lot of healing over my time as a member here. I am sorry that you would need a place like this but I am glad you found us. Take your time learning your way around the site and I will hopefully chat with you more after you have had some time to explore and get comfortable.

Wishing you the best,

Lionheart
That is wonderful you have made friends here. It makes my heart glad that you found healing here as well as the friendships. It would be an honor if we chatted more eventually. Definitely I do delete so many more words than I get the courage to post yet. Thank you for your kind words.

~Joy
 
So glad to find this forum!! Had long thought I had PTSD but never had a diagnosis until last year when I turned 40.

Last year I nearly died after quitting drinking suddenly. (Was drinking WAY to much in excess to numb away the memories of past traumas/fresh pain etc)

So last year was the first time a psychiatrist ever spent real time to speak with me.
My diagnosis was given as only PTSD. She mentioned SSRI's could help, but relayed to her that I knew they make me suicidal so luckily was not forced to take meds that harmed me like they did in the past.

Have had a Kaiser therapist dump me when I said I was suicidal. She said I was fine and cancelled me from ever coming back. So I even have issues trying to get help.

Reconnected with an old friend at the same time as my diagnosis who also has PTSD.
I was surprised that she had been prescribed cannabis by a Dr. for her PTSD. Since smoking is not something I can do without intense pain, I tried gummies with THC/CBD and
it is the only reason I am able to go to bed happy, and wake up with hope now. (Living in California, it is legal or I would be too afraid to try!) OLLY SLEEP Melatonin has been a godsend to stop my night terrors that were always waking me up screaming "NOOOOO!", during a night terror that too closely mimicked my own life experiences. I know it's the OLLY that helps because as soon as I forget to take it, the waking up screaming comes back.

My work life is my most highly functioning aspect of my life. While I do enjoy life alone hiking/kayaking/cooking alone just fine... but ache for the safety net of just one safe close intimate partner. That search almost always winds up with another trauma experience. Had to call the police on the last fella that made me believe he wanted a long term relationship.

My mind and body is so tired from the fright or flight response I so often go through.

~Joy
Welcome! Hope you find helpful resources and feedback!
 
This forum is full of exposure to things that are on our list to heal. Sometimes we are ready to hear the hard truth and sometimes not. Doesn't mean we aren't working for a better life, it simply means we aren't ready.

And no trigger warnings! Isn't that freeing! We all belong and we do have a voice here. Very happy to see you are looking around and finding that you can eventually be comfortable here. Right now we are strangers. Won't be long and you'll wonder why you didn't find this place a long time ago. But the time is right for you now.

Glad you are already feeling relief!!!

How long have you been lucky to have found this place?

Honestly over the past years I have had more and more support from strangers than the closest person to me. There was a day I could not stop crying on a walk, and about 7-10 people pulled over to offer help in many forms, even to give up the stress ball they were using. It is these acts of kindness that have started to weave together like an internal comfort blanket.

Thanks for your kindness!!
 
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