Season Changes

[shimmerz]

I live by the water in a place where some people have cottages. Since the May 24th weekend people are lighting fireworks off every night (even daylight evening). This is a trigger I don't have to deal with during the winter months and had forgotten about. I don't often pass out too much anymore but this one has me each and every night.

I guess one of the things that I am confused about is, as I mentioned above, I don't pass out that much anymore, so I thought I had that behaviour beat. Now I realize it isn't the behaviour so much as the trigger. Perhaps all of those other things I used to pass out about that I don't now, I have learned how to lessen the response but I was certain I had learned to manage the response. ARRRGGGHHHHH!

So as I have been typing this post the question has kind of morphed. I was going to ask if anyone else suffers seasonally due to different triggers (no anniversary) and now I am going to ask as well if anyone notices a change in reactivity (less reactive) based on their trigger?

Thank you

 

[nycowboy]

I most certainly have the same seasonal triggers. Not fireworks, but winter-turning-into-spring is very very hard for me. I live where it is cold in the winter and people hibernate then. It is very quiet and peaceful. Then warm weather comes along and BOOM!!!!!! it is time to revv up the motorcycle, play our music loudly, mow the lawn, etc.... and it all drives me crazy until I get used to it. It usually takes me a month to get used the new noise (and new light) levels. Before therapy, this was very disconcerting to me. Now it is more of an "OK. yes. PTSD is acting up again."

With me the triggers are noises or stuff that is unexpected. I was bullied as a kid and I have this constant need to feel safe. If there are noises that I can't see the source of I feel afraid and anxious. I then have to go and figure out what the noise is.

I wonder if the fireworks thing for you is the same kind of thing - unexpected, random noise creating fear and anxiety in you.

 

[shimmerz]

Thanks for responding @weavingcowboy. I appreciate the input as I feel like such an idiot about the whole thing. Yes, mine is the same. Drills, any type of random construction noises, lawn equipment. For me though it is even if I know they are going to happen - although if I don't my reaction is instantaneous - I drop dead faint. Scary how quickly it happens. I wish I had the time to see it for what it was - as you say, a PTSD reaction.

May I ask you, how did therapy help you in this way? Was it just a matter of acknowledging what it was with the statement you suggested above?

 

[nycowboy]

For me, it is a work in progress. A lot of it is acknowledging the noise, first. Then sending someone else to find out the source of the noise (if necessary).

The noise irritation thing is a big part of what brought me to therapy in the first place. I was bullied, like I said, and my fight/flight/freeze response is very very present. I never realized how big the response was, nor how pervasive.

If you have not done it yet, if you are in therapy, talk to your therapist. You also might try (if you feel safe doing this) spending some time on your own exploring what in the past caused this extreme noise reaction? What was the noise in the past that created this reaction of fainting? I don't know your situation, nor do I need to know it, but I think if you go to your T and spend the time focusing on this issue, you might slowly come to the realization what caused it.

The fact that you are fainting suggests that this needs to be dealt with. I am not a medical professional, so take it with a grain of salt what I say, but it's like I've "been there, done that."[DOUBLEPOST=1401807539,1401807473][/DOUBLEPOST]YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT. You've had trauma in your past. Period.

 

[Go Hungry]

I find that seasons affect me too. Not anything having to do with loud noises, but just the change in temperature and light make a difference, especially with my depression. Summer gets me too, but in a different way. I love summer, the hotter the better. The best days of all are when it's so hot that nobody wants to be outside. It's like you get the city to yourself. But I'm much more likely to go manic during summer.

Alot of it does have to do with bullying. Summer was the one time of year when I didn't have to worry about being ridiculed, so it's always been my favourite, followed by Fall because Halloween right? =)

Don't know if this helps at all, but there you go.

 

[shimmerz]

when it's so hot that nobody wants to be outside. It's like you get the city to yourself.

This is like the relief I feel when everyone is away over a long weekend. I can go to stores and seem to have a freedom that I can't have when there are too many people around. This is a good point and I thank you for it @Go Hungry. Thank you. I see now that I have moved to cottage country that I have reversed my trigger pattern - the weeks are okay and the weekends are not because the noises are intense outside.

I get it now. Thank you!

 

[nycowboy]

shimmerz: yes. This is me too. I live in a small town. I struggle with nice bright sunny weekends because people will be around that normally aren't during the week. Monday is the best day of the week. Back to routine, back to quiet. I even used to compulsively watch the weather forecasts for the week so I could gauge how noisy/populated the upcoming week was going to be. I'd even be happy when it would rain for local festivals and outdoor occasions.

Thank God I'm getting better at this. I just got tired of living that way and got help through therapy. One year's worth has made a huge difference in me!

 

[shimmerz]

It is bittersweet to know that others understand - thank you both so much for your input. I hate that someone else can relate as I know how uncomfortable it is - but selfishly, it is nice to be validated. Knowing that this is happening (and that is because of both of your input) will help me tremendously, as now I can consciously understand that this is tied to the same issue, just a different timeline during the week. Thank you both so much!

 

[nycowboy]

You are welcome. I'm sorry that I've been away from here for awhile.

I want to tell you how far I've come in one year's time with therapy. Here is a situation at home this morning. Three doors down there was a group of men doing a reroof on a house. They had their music playing. It wasn't really loud, but it was audible.

A year ago, I would have been in total fits. I would have had my heart start pounding, I would have started pacing feverishly. How dare they play their music when they were working. Don't they know that there is a noise ordinance around here? I need to go in the house and make sure that I can find the copy of the noise ordinance so I'll have it when I go over and yell at them. After all, they are invading my space. Maybe I need to call the cops too.

Today I was in my backyard. I heard the music. My mind started to get a tiny bit agitated, and I acknowledged the noise was happening, and told myself that my PTSD was acting up, and that fight/flight was starting as well. I told myself it was only a temporary situation, and that I had to go to work anyway after I mowed the lawn. I told myself that they were not acting unreasonably. Yes, there is a noise ordinance, but it wasn't really worth fighting about since I wasn't going to be home anyway.

Keep acknowledging what is going on. It is so nice to know that you are not alone in what you are going through!

Keep your chin up!