Second Trauma

[Notsowild]

So I had severe sexual and physical abuse my whole childhood. In my thirties I started getting panic attacks and was diagnosed with PTSD. Was that the right diagnosis?

Since my car accident I've had flashbacks, nightmares, dissociation and insomnia. So why all the new symptoms? Has anyone else had a second trauma and new symptoms with it? Thanks

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm confused why you're questioning it. Is your diagnosis delayed onset PTSD?

 

[Powder]

I'm sorry to hear about your childhood trauma. :( That is a lot. I don't know you yet, so I ask if you are in trauma therapy?

Melissa Moody did in the Happy documentary series. She had amnesia for most of the abuse until she was crushed by a vehicle, when her sis-in-law deliberately harmed her. The severe head trauma shook the trauma from childhood lose. In the hospital, she was plagued by flashbacks of the childhood trauma.

So, yes, it's been happening to people. Some of it could be chalked up to "state dependent memory. " You're not alone.

Your sense of safety (what's left of it) was just compromised. You start by making yourself feel "safer" as much as you can daily. Have people help with that.

 

[Notsowild]

I'm confused why you're questioning it. Is your diagnosis delayed onset PTSD?

No I'm confused. Why the different symptoms with the second trauma?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Maybe the second trauma amped up your symptoms?

 

[Notsowild]

@Muse...

state dependent memory

Can you explain this to me?

 

[Meadowsweet]

I have both childhood and adulthood trauma.

I suffered with depression during my teens (though that is self assessed as I never had help for it) then I got into drugs and for years after suffered with panic attacks and dissociation, but I blamed myself and my lifestyle for it, and hid it because I thought others would blame me anf tell me to get it together. Personally, from what I know about PTSD symptoms, I don't think that was PTSD, but I recognise it now as effects of a traumatic life.

After I was last attacked, I developed the full on PTSD symptoms of flashbacks etc. that you describe here. And as far as I can tell by reading on the diagnostic criteria, the diagnosis does require the full mixture of symptoms to be PTSD.

But, what I would say, is it is treating the trauma and not the symptoms that matters more than the diagnosis itself. Whatever the diagnosis, that's the focus for healing.

 

[Barconian]

Personally, from what I know about PTSD symptoms, I don't think that was PTSD, but I recognise it now as effects of a traumatic life.

I agree

 

[Powder]

@Muse...
Can you explain this to me?

Sure, I'll try!

State dependent memory works like a computer program in our bodies. If you were running hard, breathing hard when a trauma occurred, then having a pounding heart from aerobic activity could be a pre-requisite for remembering aspects of the trauma.

For me, my child abuse caused a lot of anger that never got acted upon or voiced. So when I get angry and feel I can't deal with it, I am able to access memories of that feeling.

I see it as a mental "code word" at the door of memory. It is how memory is backed up and accessed.

Smell/odor is the strongest state dependent memory catalyst. In movies, like "scent of a woman" this is likely a good thing. Smelling someone's perfume reminds someone of the positive emotions of falling in love.

However, for those with PTSD, this works in a negative usually. But we can use this knowledge to help. My Therapist offers strong scents when a patient gets triggered and dissociates as a way to tell the brain "Hey, this smell means you are not back 'there' in the trauma."

For me the flashbacks occurred due to state dependent memory. I was hearing and seeing something almost the same as when the trauma occurred. For child abuse, or "complex" trauma, triggers are woven into the fabric of life more so than for single-incident trauma that involves less time span and therefore less smells, sounds, experiences, feelings, etc.

I hope I make sense.

For Melissa Moody being stuck in a hospital bed for 30 reconstructive surgeries was a trigger for being attacked in her bed. Just lying in a bed was state dependent.

Rather than seeing this as a bad thing and feeling more the victim, I choose to see this as how the mind works, as interesting, and useful in healing. I try to learn all my triggers and honor them as part of my world and experience.

 

[maryel42]

I had sexual and "other" abuse in childhood. (this morning i just can't bring myself to really unpack the "other" part of this. sorry.)

I already had c-ptsd before the big Adult Trauma(s) happened. More so with my first pregnancy. It started out high-risk for a bunch of things, but all seemed to be going cautiously very optimistic. Then I went into a major half-psychotic break, pre-eclampsia, a few bouts of preterm labor, my baby stopped growing, there were a few suspected abnormalities that led to a fetalechocardiogram, and just went everything seemed okay again WHAM... emergency c-section, my blood pressure so high they were expecting seizures at any second even after delivery, and a two pound 10 oz baby girl on a ventilator with accompanying 6weeks in NICU.

Cue post-partum depression, a whole new set of symptoms and flashbacks, a whole new totally different situation to suddenly come to grips with.

I feel that for me, in my case, I was extremely fortunate. Already being in care for the preexisting issues, I got immediate treatment for the new ones. About ten months later, the new traumas didn't affect me anymore; the new symptoms were gone, the trauma had been processed all through my head and body both, I was back to dealing with "just" the old stuff.

My second pregnancy went even worse. Everything from the first round, plus a 1 pound 3 oz baby, heart surgery at his fifth day of life, a three and a half month bout in NICU, ongoing feeding and medical issues, and an older child with severe autism... again, I dealt with it all right at the moment. Got what help I could, did not bury my head in the sand and pretend it was something I didn't need to handle immediately, and though it took a bit longer, the actual birth and first year of life trauma was healable.

...a long thing to say that, yes, it's possible, and yes, if it's recognized soon enough and treated properly as effective for you, yourself, and not necessarily as effective for anyone else... it's healable.

 

[Viosinger]

I probably, looking back, had some symptoms as I went through abuse through my childhood, but mainly it was a daily survival. Then I was sexually assaulted in high school. Add in a couple car accidents, and a horrible reporting process a few years later, and yes. I was just talking to my therapist about multiple sources/traumas. I only began experiencing flashbacks after the sexual assault. It's taken years to start seeing the damage my childhood abuse manifested as, though it's there as well. I'm not as well-versed in the therapy end of things, being new to it. But I do understand the after a second event part.

 

[Notsowild]

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful words and great advice.

Now that I'm on stress leave from work I am trying to figure out my life. I also need a diagnosis for my insurance company for more compensation and possibly disability.

I've suffered from severe panic attacks and dissociation and I now believe "depersonalization" for years. Then the car accident brought on the flashbacks, hypervigilance, insomnia etc etc .

It's been rough for me but I now have my T and a great psychiatrist. And of course I have all of you on this forum. Thanks again everyone:p