There are people out there who will care for you and support you. He is not the only one out there, and you shouldn't think that. He's not your last or only chance. You can try and work it out, but if he's making you feel worse and isn't willing to try and understand you do need to realize that there are others out there, including those who will care for you and support you going through this difficult time. It is always hard on the partner of someone with PTSD, but the "fantasy" comment puts me on edge about whether this is a healthy relationship for you.
I'm sorry about your financial issues, I know it gets even harder when you're living on noodles or pancake mix and can barely keep the lights on. As little as you may have, remember every once in a while to spoil yourself with something small. It could be as simple as finding a shampoo you really like the smell of, or a pastry, or something, but adding small things you can enjoy for yourself within your already strained budget can help. The shampoo may come from a dollar store, or you might get the pastry on sale at a grocery store, but it's a little something that you can do that will lift your spirits a bit.
I don't know if you like to read but there are sites online where you can read books for free, and little silly game sites (also free), and a few other things. I don't have a seperate income myself, and I don't like asking my husband for things, so I've learned little things I can do for myself that don't cost much of anything and I can do them alone. I'm not as dirt poor as I once was, but I still have the compulsion that if it isn't my paycheck, I don't want to spend it.
And there's the last bit. It took me a long time, but my husband is very supportive. So people like him do exist. You just need to look for them, and in his case, be prepared to make the first move. Don't let anyone or thing make you feel trapped. There are other people, there are other things, and you can take a day to just do something you enjoy, not because you're being selfish but because it's essential to your self care. Taking care of yourself like that is just as important as eating and sleeping, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
You are indispensible. You are preciously valuable. You are worth more than you can ever know. Never ever doubt that. Your smile, your laugh could have saved someone's life. Your post could help someone get help before it's too late. Never ever think that you aren't worth everything good you could ever want. <3
I'm sorry about your financial issues, I know it gets even harder when you're living on noodles or pancake mix and can barely keep the lights on. As little as you may have, remember every once in a while to spoil yourself with something small. It could be as simple as finding a shampoo you really like the smell of, or a pastry, or something, but adding small things you can enjoy for yourself within your already strained budget can help. The shampoo may come from a dollar store, or you might get the pastry on sale at a grocery store, but it's a little something that you can do that will lift your spirits a bit.
I don't know if you like to read but there are sites online where you can read books for free, and little silly game sites (also free), and a few other things. I don't have a seperate income myself, and I don't like asking my husband for things, so I've learned little things I can do for myself that don't cost much of anything and I can do them alone. I'm not as dirt poor as I once was, but I still have the compulsion that if it isn't my paycheck, I don't want to spend it.
And there's the last bit. It took me a long time, but my husband is very supportive. So people like him do exist. You just need to look for them, and in his case, be prepared to make the first move. Don't let anyone or thing make you feel trapped. There are other people, there are other things, and you can take a day to just do something you enjoy, not because you're being selfish but because it's essential to your self care. Taking care of yourself like that is just as important as eating and sleeping, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
You are indispensible. You are preciously valuable. You are worth more than you can ever know. Never ever doubt that. Your smile, your laugh could have saved someone's life. Your post could help someone get help before it's too late. Never ever think that you aren't worth everything good you could ever want. <3