Shaking - 2 Fear Responses?

[Lisa]

I'm not sure if this is a strange question or not, or if I'm going to articulate it well enough. Everyone knows what it's like to be scared, to shake with fear (unfortunately). But I seem to have found two different types of shaking and fear...? I call the difference shaking from the inside and shaking from the outside.

By that I mean the 'normal' fear response means shaking from the outside... everything shakes, hands, arms, legs, etc. The OTHER one.... I'm not sure what it is. I just can't figure out if it is fear, or if it is something else. But the shaking is more like shuddering, but constantly. I guess more violent shakes? The shaking comes from inside my body, it is as if everything inside me is shaking, not just my limbs, and it's rippling outwards. I'm also freezing cold at this point, even though my skin feels warm and I may be wrapped up in a duvet. I can't control it. It goes on for much longer than the other 'normal' fear shaking. It's not the same as the other fear response, and I wish i could describe it better- does anyone understand what on earth I am on about? What is this?

I have never been good at recognising emotions, particularly fear. It got to a point where I only knew I was really scared when my jaw clamped shut, my legs wouldn't move, my mouth wouldn't make any noises, and I had this cold shivering that I couldn't stop. As I grew up I recognised the "cold shivering" was shaking with fear. Is it just that I am having difficulty recognising this as fear? Maybe I am just more or less frightened than the "other" fear, and they are both the same thing- I just don't know it? Or is it in my mind? Or is it fever? But then I would have got ill every time I got it, and I haven't - though once this shaking did happen as a result of a particularly bad ear infection. It happens too often to be illness related though. And yes - it does happen when I'm thinking about scary things. Sometimes it happens when I'm not, but it does get brought on by scary thinking. But it seems totally different to what I consider 'normal' fear... and it doesn't help that I can't recognise any clear emotion with it. If I felt frightened, then that would obviously be it. But it is a physical thing, and I get scared when it happens because I don't understand it.

Any ideas, help, or identification would be really great.

Lisa

 

[moki]

Hi Lisa,
I have experienced the 'inside' shaking several times and the 'inside' shaking with unexplained coldness once. I have experienced both of these things when I am around my husband too long (he is my trigger for ptsd symptoms for some reason...)

I think it is cortisol racing through your body in response to your fear.

 

[becvan]

I get both of these.

I get the internalized shaking when I have an axiety attack. If there is any confrontation involved, I get the external shaking. It is also a form of an anxiety attack, just a much worse one.

As far as I knew, the internal one was much more common than the external! LOL :dontknow:

I will share what was suggested to me to do. When I think that there might be a confrontation, to go and walk or do something physical first. Exercise lowers our stress levels considerably so it should help to drop our levels beforehand.

I haven't had a chance to try this yet, as I was just asking for advice on my shakes issues last night! LOL (hows that for murphey's law!)

Anyways, it's anxiety and it is just another part of PTSD. Funny thing is.. I prefer dealing with the internal one than the external one! Mind you when the external one hits, I can't hold myself up I shake so bad!

bec

 

[Lisa]

I'm glad that I'm not talking total rubbish here! Moki, I'm also glad you understand what I mean with the cold thing....strange.

I don't know which one is 'more common' - anybody I have asked didn't really get it!

Becvan... I agree, off the top of my head any time I have had the external one, confrontation and fear of physical safety has been involved for me....it's interesting that you find the external one much worse... for some reason it's the inside one that happens more, and bothers me more! Though this might just be because I get it more. Probably depends on what causes it for each person or something, maybe...Well we three seem to know what we are talking about so that's good at least!

I will try the go going for a walk or something - I'm not sure how possible it is to walk in that state yet, but I will give it a go....it is strange how you were asking advice on this only the other night too!

thanks for the replies, and letting me know i'm not crazy!

Lisa

 

[willing]

Lisa,
There is an article posted by maus that describes Complex PTSD or DESNOS. If you can read it. For me currently I have only had the internal shaking twice. Once when I was younger and they classified me as a nut case and the second was now within the last 4 months. In the article it talks about trauma endured when very young and often times we don't have words to put to the scary. So we shake. As adults we often can only identify an emotion with a feeling not words. Mine are shaking and the knot in the stomach. And both it is as if I am really trying not to let how scared I really am out. As a young child my mom was a raging maniac. I never knew what would set her off...the constant walking on eggshells. Her rage would come out as verbal and emotional and some physical abuse. So if I kept quiet she wouldn't make me the focus of her attention. I had to not cry so I often cried silently infact to this day I still cry quietly and if it gets too bad I can stop it abruptly. So bottom line...for me internal shaking are pent up body memories that are trying to come out just like my mental ones are right now. My therapist is getting me to put more sound and movement to them. I find it highly uncomfortable and embarassing and it often makes my evil one start up but she promises the more sound and movement I could put to them the quicker they will go away or become managable.

 

[becvan]

Hi Lisa,

The external one seems worse to me because it's a tangible symptom that other people can see. I hate that. I hate showing anything. I get really upset if another person can see my anxiety, feelings or reactions in anyway. So for me, external shaking is like chinese torture. It also means that I am petrified to begin with. Not a good combination.

Willing,

Interesting about the complex diagnosis and the internal shaking. I've, personally, always had both types of shakes and just assumed (yep making an ass out of myself) that all of us experienced that and to a high degree.. I smell a poll coming out of this!!

bec

 

[batgirl]

That's an interesting point willing and bec, not that I like to distinguish between different types of PTSD, but I've never had those shakes that you guys are describing, at least not that I'm aware of, and I don't have complex PTSD. So perhaps it is more common with certain types of trauma.

 

[becvan]

Well here is the poll!

[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread4430.html#post28487[/DLMURL]

Crap Evie! Now I have to add in type of traumas! :crazy: Okay maybe the next poll I will do that! LMAO...

bec

 

[Lisa]

I have read the article... very interesting and yes, it is an interesting point willing and bec.

Cool to the poll!!! :)

A point I want to say about my 'internal shaking'....I just want to point out that it does become visible shaking for me.... more violent sometimes than the external even. It doesn't start that way.... it feels like it's coming from inside, as opposed to the external shakes which is automatically visible, and before I know it, it's like constant shuddering, like someone's walking over my grave. Still very different to me than the external shakes. It becomes constant shaking, for one or two hours at times, so not the odd shudders either.

Ummmm... maybe I am talking about something else, or just varying degrees of the same thing here....? lol :dont-know I should probably just get back on the :pot: and sssh!

 

[becvan]

It's varying degrees is all. Mine can start external or internal depending on the circumstances, they can last mintues or hours, again depending on circumstances. It's all anxiety no matter how it hits, how it portrays, and how long it lasts. hehe, all normal for us!

bec

 

[moki]

Very interesting, willing. Your story sounds so much like mine...I also had three big abandonments by the age of 7 yrs. old. One each in years 5-7. Two were parents, one was first very best friend (that one still chokes me up)

My shaking has only happened since the shit hit the fan last fall, but it's always when I'm around my husband, who triggers all the bad stuff from the past somehow. It has nothing to do with his behavior (or very little) and everything to do with the effect that all that stuff had on me so long ago.

Yeah, that DES-NOS article could have been written about me. I fit the description of that kind of PTSD to a "T".

 

[Burn]

I had the shakes, too. Came from nowhere. Couldn't control my movements any more, somehow was like cramps. Well they seem to be gone. Last time was two years ago, and only affected my hands. So people cheer up, there's a way ... maybe not a way out, but a way that leads away from it and is afar from mere suppression.