General Should I Do Something About It?

[Jen]

Hi I am after a bit of advice. Hubby was doing up his Sandman ute and it is at the mechanics still. When he hit the wall he completely gave up on anything that he enjoyed. The ute is still at the mechanics I spoke to them and they were fine with this I told them hubby wasnt well so we will put things on hold for a while.
When I mentioned it to hubby the other day he said it was the worst thing he ever did and shouldnt have taken it there to be fixed? We cant leave it there forever I am quite capable of getting it fixed to bring it home but he seems to not want to talk about it at all?
It is a shame because he really enjoyed working on it. I just want him to make a decision about it!
Jen

 

[anthony]

You could just find out what it is he was having done to it, have it done and bring it home to him?

 

[Deleted member 3]

Jen,

Exactly what Anthony suggested is exactly what I would do. The rest is up to hubby. You never know he may even feel like it again after he does the course. This forum was inspired from the PTSD course for Anthony and it has done him and others the world of good.

 

[Jen]

yeh thanks guys thats what I think I will do. I will ring mechanic and see what is involved to me getting it and bringing it home.
That way it is at least here at home. If its here in his face it may give some incentive?
Jen

 

[bornjoyful]

empowerment and disempowerment

Hi there.
I wannted to add my two pennies worth.

I have found that one of the results of PTSD is loss of interest in things one was once interested in . i am not sure if this is because of depression which causes the same result (loss of interest in previously pleasurable things) or if it is a completely seperate category that can happen without depression.
For me as a survivor, i think it is because when i am reactive (last period lasted 7 months) then my brain is too busy trying to process and integrate that which is stuck (instrusive memories). i simply felt overwhelmed and all non essentials were abandoned.


If your husband is feeling this way then bringing the car back with an expectation or hope it may be a returned to project may also be overwhelming or percieved as trying to push him which is not you intention..It could in the end just feel to him like something staring him in the face saying FAILURE. not empowering at all.However obviously you cannot leave it there indefinately-they need the space, right?

maybe to avoid this you could just get it back and leave him a note saying you have considered it may be taken the wrong way and that you do not want to put pressure on him etc etc and explain that bringing it home was the option other than dumping it completely. i say to put it in a note first so that he does not react when he sees it and this gives him a space to mull it over rather than be 'confronted' with it.

Your even asking the question shows me that you are most considerate and I admire you. if PTSD survivors had solid support life would be easier.
blessings tania

 

[Jen]

Hi Tania thank you for your advice I was thinking about talking to him first about it and tell him to stop worrying about it (which he is) and I will look after it for him and what does he think about bringing it home as they dont want it at the workshop anymore. I dont want him to think I am to pushy with this but reality has to kick in doesnt it?
Thank you Jen