Six Ways to be The Persecutory Therapist *cue the thunder and lightning*

[ms spock]

It has been an educational experience.

I have learnt it is a red flag if a psychiatrist can fit you in straight away. That was a very painful experience. But I won't make that mistake again.

(With the exception of cancellations if you are on their waiting list because they are booked out for months. And you have an appointment in several months. But you have to be lucky).

I have learnt the names of some of the poorest psychiatrists in my local area.

It does seem the ones who are good and have solid reputations have their books closed.

One of the good ones I have been booked in for several months. I have roughly 30 days to go now.

 

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We had a conversation with the Australian Financial Complaints Authority on our household contents insurance policy.

If my psychiatrist had my back I could talk to her about what she documented.

The Insurance Company tradie doctored the photo of the fence sticking out of the tree root ball and with a Complaints Process that was totally over turned.

Now this one on the Household Contents is what the assessor said to our faces our Household Contents wasn't covered. I was so devastated I was in shock. I didn't realise that was crucial to document and immediately put a complaint in. They get away with lying. Then the person on the phone said if I had taken photos it would all have been replaced.

I filled up three skip bins.

But I was so stressed out. I didn't think that they would just lie. I was naive. So because the conversations were in person. I have no proof. The Insurance Company gets to lie because because I didn't think to video the conversation with the assessor. And I didn't record the conversation when she mocked us about the Household Contents. They just get to lie. It is so frustrating. And if my psychiatrist treated me with respect I could ask her.

It was good I stood up to her. It brought it all to a head. I faced a really painful truth. That was good. It was important to do that now. I could have been left on my own without any way to contact my psychiatrist. I don't know what she was doing but she wasn't planning on giving me a referral or anything until I went "duty of care". Which is code for Chennai formal complaint.

It is just so hard with everything happening in the back ground with Cyclone Alfred, the house burning down next door, other extreme weather events, the aggression and abuse by the tradie, the Insurance Company can doctor photos and the maximum amount of compensation is $6300. There are no consequences for the Insurance Company.

I was getting up at 1 am each morning to do the clean up after the Cyclone as it is too hot to work in the sun during the day. If I hadn't done this I would have had proof. But I was trying to be proactive. I was trying to take control. I did not even photograph everything. That was not sensible. But I was so overwhelmed. And they would have replaced everything if I had taken photos the other Insurance Company employee told me. I have to get a copy of that call.

I am crying again. But that is par of the course.

 

[ms spock]

That was good I cried and brainstormed. That phone call is proof of what the Insurance Company said.

 

[ms spock]

This will be over one day.

I will have gained a lot of insight from this experience.

 

[ms spock]

I am angry with my psychiatrist. Very angry.

 

[ms spock]

I am wildly frustrated that if she didn't know what was going on with me that she could have asked me.

Or gone to supervision.

Or referred me onwards.

 

[ms spock]

There is probably transference and counter transference involved but as my psychiatrist won't discuss our relationship we are at a stalemate and the end of the therapeutic relationship.

It is extremely painful to face the reality of how she has chosen not to assist in my transition. She outright lied to me. That hurts a lot. And after I mentioned a duty of care she sent me a referral to a good psychiatrist who I had told her has her books closed. Then she sent me a referral to a psychiatrist who works at a clinic where one of male psychiatrist has, as a condition of his registration, not to work with female clients.

When we started our discussions of her retirement she said that she would get a good psychiatrist with a decade or two under their belt who was nuanced with medication. The psychiatrist is less than five years out and has a reputation of not being good with medication. My trauma informed counsellor said two of her clients had very poor experiences and one client really had their drugs messed up. So my psychiatrist is not looking into the referrals she is sending. She had reassured me that she would do a deep dive.

It hits me in waves.

She kept saying that the building, where she has her practice, which she owns would be bulldozed and that would mean her retirement. She kept saying three to six months.

She's told me how she's transferred other clients to other psychiatrists. Some went well and some not so well and bad in one case.

It could have been a lot worse. Her building could have been bulldozed and I could have been left with no contact details.

She mentioned that her building could have been bulldozed in a month but council knocked back the proposal.

Then she said she was going to get a room with some other psychiatrists and psychologists.

Then retirement went back to 3-6 months when her building was demolished.

When I said "duty of care" she wrote on the referral that she was retiring in 18 months which was a time span I had never heard her speak about.

At least this way I stood up for myself, and reality is reality. It's going to hit me at times.

I took back my power from her continually changing the times of her retirement.

I went and saw a really terrible psychiatrist off my own back. She offered me more medication without looking at what I am taking, or how they could interact with my current medications. She didn't go through any side effects of what she prescribed. She had the empathy skills of a potato. She told me that she hadn't been a psychiatrist for long. She gave me a bat shit crazy diagnosis after about 20 minutes. She said that I was DID. No one gives a diagnosis like that without a rigourous engagement. I questioned this and she said that I had a mild case of DID. I don't think that I have DID. She was an idiot. She was very intrusive and didn't have sensitivity in asking questions. I was really upset. I wish I had just got up and walked out. But the damage to a client who has no other support could be significant.