Sleep Patterns Forecast Flare-ups?

[Spidersilk]

About a week-and-a-half ago I noticed that I have having trouble sleeping. (Two weeks ago I returned to my last year of graduate school, with far less financial resources than I thought). I acknowledged that I was probably not sleeping well because I was adjusting to added financial stress and the start of school. Then I noticed I started to not feel sleepy and resist sleep. Then I noticed that I was afraid of things and heard noises more often. Then I checked to see how my gun was doing and started leaving the cabinet ajar at night, just in case. Then I started sleeping with the dogs and my son in the room and locking the door. Now the nightmares began...

I was still managing in my day-to-day life up until a couple days ago when I noticed I felt alone and depressed. I wanted to cry at anything and believed that people did not like me. Things started to seem too hard to do and there has been a lot of day sleeping any chance I could get. Yesterday the lack of tolerance and screaming started, feeling out of control and overwhelmed over things that I can typically deal with. Today it is "I just can't do this any more" feeling. I've got work to do but I can't. Oh yea, I also had progressively more tightness in my jaw, slouching, grinding of my teeth, headaches and breath holding during this same time. All symptoms that I normally do not have or do not notice.

I realized SOOOO clearly the common pattern of how this all began. My sleep patterns where there before any acting-out came about. Has anyone else noticed that their sleep patterns forecast impending flare-ups?

If so, and you are able to "see it coming," what can you do to help avert the acting-out? I feel like I am watching me not having control and shutting down. Any suggestions? I would like to be able to do better tomorrow and function. :alien:

 

[stuff]

So much. I had a really bad month last month, and it started with the hyperarousal/insomnia stuff. What I realize now though is that it didn't really start with the insomnia, it started with my taking on a lot of stressful stuff combined with stress from outside sources and overloading myself because I thought I was doing really well and could handle it. Then the insomnia started and it all sort of snowballed from there. I've had a good couple of weeks now, especially once I got a handle on the sleep stuff, but this sounds like exactly how I start to feel when I relapse a bit. I don't know what to suggest for help. For me, I started taking the sleep herbs I had stopped taking, and tried my best to take care of myself. It was really hard, and I don't have anyone who can help me out with that stuff, but in the long run it was kind of empowering. Every time the fear and tears started I would try to just do one thing that would help me, even if it was sticking two dishes in the dishwasher or listening to a funny podcast or taking a shower. Seriously rough month though. I feel for you.

 

[Spidersilk]

So much. I had a really bad month last month, and it started with the hyperarousal/insomnia stuff. What I realize now though is that it didn't really start with the insomnia, it started with my taking on a lot of stressful stuff combined with stress from outside sources and overloading myself because I thought I was doing really well and could handle it. Then the insomnia started and it all sort of snowballed from there. I've had a good couple of weeks now, especially once I got a handle on the sleep stuff, but this sounds like exactly how I start to feel when I relapse a bit. I don't know what to suggest for help. For me, I started taking the sleep herbs I had stopped taking, and tried my best to take care of myself. It was really hard, and I don't have anyone who can help me out with that stuff, but in the long run it was kind of empowering. Every time the fear and tears started I would try to just do one thing that would help me, even if it was sticking two dishes in the dishwasher or listening to a funny podcast or taking a shower. Seriously rough month though. I feel for you.

Thank you for being there and posting. It helps to know that what I am noticing is significant and not my imagination. I'm not alone. :)

It makes sense too because I did start school and my internship, etc... much more stress. It's kinda sad to think that I can't handle that. :notworthy: I'm getting somewhere now though...

Your idea of just doing one thing to that could help, is a good reminder! I'm trying that now. Thank you again.

 

[stuff]

It's kinda sad to think that I can't handle that.

That was my first thought when all of it started happening. I got angry and sad and frustrated and I was worried I might have to quit one of my jobs just to keep my sanity. I did end up booking a couple extra days off to level myself out when I finally started sleeping again. I have a horrible habit of working myself into the ground and I'm starting to learn to stand up for my own sanity. I still have both my jobs and I'm keeping my head above water, but I really have to work hard at treating myself kindly. It's sometimes hard because I feel like people think I'm a slacker or a bad worker when I have to do that, but at the same time they aren't dealing with the same emotional/physical exhaustion levels and it's none of their freaking business when it comes right down to it. I hope your grad program/internship gives you a little flexibility, and hang in there. If there's anything I've learned, it's that PTSD is like surfing. There will always be big waves and calm surf. Just takes a while to make friends with the sea.