Relationship So hubbie has just walked in.... is it wrong to wish for a better hello?

[Sunshine71]

So hubbie has just walked in.

He is not living here now - I feel if we are closer to where he is working he just comes round.
He opens the front door and doesn't day hello.
He then can't open the door as there are our sons friends shoes blocking so I hear " For Fxxx's sake"... this is the welcome.
In an ideal world I would love to run down stairs, give a big hug and a kiss... say how is your day... make a cup of tea, have a chat, wrap up my work, go for a walk...
But I sort of give a small laugh ... he doesn't say anything... he walks up the stairs to the loo asking where our son is.

Is it wrong to wish for a better hello? Will it ever happen again like it used to? I am in my late 40's so far from old and not wanting to be loved...

Can a better "hello" be achieved or does PTSD mean you have to be cold and hard all of the time?

With thanks all.

Sunshine...

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I have PTSD and give warm friendly greetings quite often. If I'm triggered I may ignore or disassociated/have no expression. I could make the same complaints that you have about my non-ptsd husband. So, I am not sure!

 

[Sunshine71]

Tragically I am a trigger Texcat.... :( :( Lovely to hear you give warm friendly greetings!!

We used to be like this.... although it is a distant memory :) xxx

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Tragically I am a trigger Texcat.... :( :( Lovely to hear you give warm friendly greetings!!

We use...

I am sorry that you are a trigger. My teenage daughters can be a trigger for me, but it is more about their safety in a dangerous world. I still give them love and warmth. At times I have to isolate from them, but because they are my children that I love with my whole heart, I try to make up for the lost time.

 

[Snowflakes]

Sunshine, it's not wrong to wish for a better hello; whether we get one when we want one is a different story. What works for me now, and it took me a long time to get to this point, is not take it personally. I look up, smile, and say hi. If I get an FU back, I just go back to what I was doing and try my best to let it go. Will it ever go back to how it was? I'd like to hope so but it's no longer my life's goal. This may sound like a defeatist attitude, it really isn't. It's just my way of not taking it personally.

 

[LuckiLee]

We all deserve to be greeted with affection. It's NOT too much to ask for!!! J and I always hug and kiss when we are leaving or coming home. Even if he in a PTSD episode.

How does he greet your son?

Sorry you guys are struggling. PTSD is one S.O.B!!

 

[illusionist]

For fxxx's sake is aimed at the shoes.....not you. My normie partner can be short mouthed at stuff that gets in his way...a bad day at work can shorten his tolerance to his perception of tidyness....then go off to have a chill out bath to return to normality. If this was happening all the time, I couldn't accept it.

So no, its not too much to ask...PTSD, or not....even if he's not affectionate, you deserve acknowledgement.

 

[EveHarrington]

It's not too much to ask. Things can change!