So Many Triggers

[charlotte.x.]

Hi,I came across this forum online and I'm really hoping someone may be able to help me. I have been told by my GP and by a Councillor that they think I have PTSD. I physically can't face talking to anyone about it.

I have so many triggers on a daily basis that talking about it takes me hours to calm down.

In a nut shell, it will be 1 year on November 15th since I was held hostage at gun point in my own home, I watched my partner beaten in front of me till her was unconscious, they threatened to rape me and take me away where no one would find me. They entered our house as we went to shut the front door after returning home from the supermarket.

The police never caught who did this to us, and I was offered no support. I went to the GP myself to say I was struggling to sleep, eat, walk home alone, stay at home alone. She referred me to a councillor who wants me to look into being diagnosed, and that is as far as I have got. I can't face going back to the councillor, or talking to anyone about it. I just can't do, it hurts so much to even remember for a minute.

 

[kahlan]

Getting it out is part of how you can heal. Its got to be hard! A good therapist/psychiatrist will be able to help you learn coping methods and relaxation techniques to help move through the process. I'm not a ptsd sufferer, I'm a supporter to one, but have my own fair share of trauma that's left me with a good bit of stuff to work through. Holding it in can just cause it to.fester and make an even more toxic environment. Find someone who you feel comfortable with anf who will work at a pace you can handle.

 

[a3a2]

I am so sorry, Charlotte, that you experienced something so horrible. It is no wonder the pain is excruciating, and only made worse by the fact that it happened in your home. I am glad you found the forum, and I hope it can ease you into therapy. You will find relief only in expressing the tremendous pain.

 

[Joan]

I am so sorry for what happened to you. I have also suffered at gunpoint and it is horrendous. I agree with Kahlan that getting it out is a huge part of healing. You have taken a good step coming on here and seeking support. Be kind to yourself as you tred carefully through it all.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Therapy isn't just about talking about the trauma. A therapist can help you cope as well. There are a lot of things you can do to heal without talking about the trauma. Then, when you're stronger, you can think about processing what happened in therapy.

Welcome.

 

[mamachick]

I am so sorry for what you have been through. I think you really need to push yourself to see the therapist. Im afraid it will not get better until you do. After one trauma, I made some poor choices, like using alcohol-its not unusual for us to try to self medicate, which will only complicate our situation. I know my thinking was screwed up. With help, it really can get better. I hope you push yourself to go. Some therapists will work on the phone if you need that at first. Im glad you are sharing on here and I am sending you hopeful thoughts in your recovery. You have taken the first step.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Charlotte,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum! :)

Seeing a mental health professional and getting a diagnosis is the first step in finding out what is wrong and what can be done to make it better. No one will push anyone to "talk" about their trauma until they are ready to, but they can give you the tools necessary to help you feel better and to cope better day-to-day.

I hope you find the information and support here beneficial to your healing.

Take care.

Debbie