Hi, I just wanted to say that you have at the right to feel the way you do! She made an impact in your life that has changed you forever, whether it be good or bad. Also, I am very pleased to hear that you were notified. However difficult receiving the news may be, take comfort in the fact that you have knowledge, which is a form of closure, and you can go pay your respects if you wish. Grief will take time, and even though she's not a family member or friend per se, she was someone who had a great significance in your life. Be gentle with yourself, have patience, and take your time; there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and we're all here to support you! Do you have a new therapist to help you through this?