@monster1977 You are right! It did help, even if it just kept you alive for a time period. I was hospitalized in November for a suicide attempt and although I didn't get much out of the hospital in terms of healing, it gave me forced safety for a week. I can't even begin to tell you what to do, but if you feel you need to be hospitalized and are willing to go, you should go. I wish I could take your fear away. If I had that power, I guess this site would be no longer relevant. Just know I am thinking of you.