Suicide Is Not An Option But An Unwelcome Invitation To Hell For The Survivors

[Tinyflame]

I am thankful for Abtsract's post #28, the understanding, and agree with MS Spock's post above. Yes, if anything I think shaming would contribute to it. I think Hashi's last paragraph is a bit the definition of healing.

Hugs to all, I don't think anyone wants to feel such pain, it's a 'loss' to the person as well, really, not a decision thought of lightly or (often) that has not been fought with everything they have.

 

[ms spock]

I have no idea how to get there, though.

Me either Hashi, though I am doing my best.

 

[Tinyflame]

Maybe we don't need to know how, just take very little baby steps in the right direction, and reach out too, even when we feel we "shouldn't" or "can't"?

Strangely enough, I was trying to e-mail a few friends for Christmas I have horribly neglected, I swept out my contacts so had to go through a bunch of mail I hadn't opened and that I kept for addresses, it's ridiculous I have 100's of messages (apparently!) I never responded to, ugh. Anyway, I accidentally clicked on one that (I had said, though I don't remember doing so), that the past years of help were bizarre and I should have kept my mouth shut and it's burdensome, then I said but (after getting over 'that' feeling) I am thankful and the whole 'concept' and reality of help is quite miraculous, and my friend said back 'it was all ok'. Yikes, how very very difficult a journey and struggle it is to get past what we have been taught or believe is the only way (to not ask for help or say anything), or to believe we don't 'harm' others. I guess it truly becomes turned inward.

Hugs. :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

Oops, and I meant to say, reading it I felt better. So perhaps feeling 'badly' is sometimes for reasons lurking about under the conscious level, more than just what appears to be part of the day? I didn't think I was 'thinking' of any of that, really, I thought it had to do with 'Christmas', but I guess I was.

I think you are all very very kind people, trying to help others despite your own struggles, that's pretty incredible. I think it would be just horrible to lose any one of you. :(

 

[ms spock]

.
I think you are all very very kind people, trying to help others despite your own struggles, that's pretty incredible. I think it would be just horrible to lose any one of you. :(

That is a lovely way of putting Junebug.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Haven't read the whole thread....

Flip this one around, for those who think suicide is selfish. Why are you so important as to think that someone else should stick around, in a life full of pain, misery and despair, just to spare your feelings? Honestly, this is selfish!

I don't know how anyone can be so incredibly self-centered as to think that someone else should live a life of pain just to make them happy. It is controlling and manipulative. Replace suicide with any other verb and you'll see what I'm saying.

You need to rob a bank to make ME happy. You need to have a threesome to make ME happy. You need to buy me a $10k diamond ring to make ME happy. I could go on, but I'm sure you get my point.

Seriously, beyond simply staying alive, there is NO concern for quality of life. All of those who preach that you can't kill yourself give little to no support when you're actually trying to dig yourself out of that hole.

I'm not surprised that someone who has never been suicidal thinks she has the right to preach about how selfish it is. She should get down on her knees and praise God for never having these horrible feelings instead of condemning those who do.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I don't know how anyone can be so incredibly self-centered as to think that someone else should live a life of pain just to make them happy. It is controlling and manipulative. Replace suicide with any other verb and you'll see what I'm saying.

I totally agree. No one knows how painful it is for me to keep living at this point. If I stay alive for others, I might become resentful. No one knows how hard it is to not take too much insulin. If I died from a car accident, everyone would be upset. What. really, is the difference? There are many ways to die, why make someone live a live of horrible pain?

 

[DharmaGirl]

Suicide is very selfish when you think of those you leave behind to clean up the mess.

So if my life is such a mess, who the hell is going to clean it up if I'm alive? I hate hearing that I'm selfish because my pain is so horrific I can't stay alive. Have you any idea of the hideous life I've had? Really? Enough to make me attempt suicide at age 6? I've had several attempts over the years where it is so painful the only choice is to stop the pain. I think people who call it selfish are selfish in demanding I must stay alive when I can't even function any more.

 

[ms spock]

@monster1977 Thinking of you Monster today. I know you are going through a rough time so perhaps threads like this one aren't the best ones to be reading. Some people just don't understand. It can be very hurtful. I hope you find a way of staying safe.

 

[Abstract]

@monster1977 I can hear your pain. I am sorry to hear that it goes on and on at present.

I think it's extremely unhelpful to add shame and blame to a state where pain is already too much to bare. Anyone in enough pain to attempt or complete is deserving of great compassion and support. I hope your lovely t is helping you through.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I know you are going through a rough time so perhaps threads like this one aren't the best ones to be reading.

You are so right. I need to be hospitalized I think, but the last time the psychiatrist said that I had been hospitalized 7 times last year and it didn't help me. It did help me. I didn't die. Now I'm afraid to go.

 

[Pencil]

Now I'm afraid to go.

Why?

It did help me. I didn't die.

Please go.