Relationship Supporters are heroes

[wishball]

Supporters are my heroes. When I first joined I just focused on the posts by suffers, but I really got the most insight by reading the experiences of supporters. Supporters go through so much pain for something that happened in the sufferers past. They are picking up the tab.

I am more determined than ever to start doing some very hard work. We need to be honest with ourselves that we are harming others, others who may not always understand, but others who really care and who are there for us. It is said the abused becomes the abusers, although PTSD is different, I'm noticing that although we don't inflict what was done to us, we do inflict pain. We are causing pain in people who love us - those who are innocent.

Do we want to give the past that much power - as to hurt the people we love? If anyone were to hurt our loved ones we would step in, protect them. Well the past is hurting our loved ones, we are hurting our loved ones. To all the supporters thank you for an eye opener, you are all amazing.

 

[Clinging on]

Supporters are my heroes. When I first joined I just focused on the posts by suffers, but I really got...

I've never read so much truth as I've seen here thanks, supporter here

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Supporters are my heroes. When I first joined I just focused on the posts by suffers, but I really got...

@wishball, OMG! I’m so happy to read ^^^ this post! I’ve oftened wondered if anyone would recognize that the supporters are hurting as well. I never will not recognize what sufferers go through; this past year has been a major eye-opener. However, I can’t help but feel for supporters, such as myself, who are also suffering as well. When you truly love someone who happens to have an illness, you definitely feel their pain or you may go through the symptoms of their pain. I want to celebrate those sufferers for making it through each day; and to those who support their amazing sufferers, hat’s off to you for being able to hang in there.

 

[wishball000]

@wishball, OMG! I’m so happy to read ^^^ this post! I’ve oftened wondered if anyone...

I suppose I thought that my relationship issues were just specific to myself and the person I was with, when you read over and over and over how many people are effected - it hits you. If I can recommend one thing is that supporters try to write letters to the person, why? We have a wall up. We get defensive, a letter it gives us time to read it a few times and just settle down and be non-reactive. We can process it rather than be on the defense. What a person says can (sorry to say) go in one ear out the next. We know notes take time and effort from the person writing it, so we would read it several times and are more likely to take it serious. It is certainly more effective with me. Keep writing supporters, you do make a difference.

 

[Freida]

@wishball that is brilliantly said!!

 

[Louski]

Supporters are my heroes

Thank you so much @wishball. I am having a very down day. I am in bed and I just can’t pull myself together today and I don’t feel strong or the steady ship I need to be for my SO, or anyone else in my life for that matter.

I shut everyone out today, I cancelled plans and buried myself in my duvet, because it is too much and I can’t deal with people today who don’t understand. I shut my family out because I just can’t deal with seeing their faces and their avoidance of mentioning my SO. I feel guilty and they didn’t exactly react in the best way to my shut out. To be fair I have no idea what I want them to do or how I want them to behave. I know it is nothing like what sufferers go through, but today I felt a little insight I guess. I had my own need to isolate.

The only place I feel safe is on these forums today. Then I just saw your message and it means so much. Thanks for providing a chink of light in an otherwise very dark day. I have to keep believing that my SO feels the same and that he will find a way to come back.
xxx

 

[Deleted member 44240]

@Louski, I’m sorry to hear of your plight. I completely understand having days like this especially after you’ve given your all to your sufferer. My heart goes out to you and I pray that you can gain the positive energy needed to move passed this.

Wishing you the best!

 

[Freida]

@Louski I'm so sorry you are having a bad day -- but it's ok to shut down once in a while...PTSD or no PTSD.

snuggle up in your blanket with some tea and do some binging on netflix and take care of yourself... And dont worry about explaining -- we all get where you are at even if your family doesn't

 

[Louski]

Thanks for your thoughts and kind words @Freida xx

Thanks @B.J. me too on the positive energy front!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

We are causing pain in people who love us

This is why I isolate. I took out the innocent part as my only one "supporter" (for lack of a better term), my father, isn't exactly innocent. And neither is his wife whom is coming back to the State soon.

But this is why I isolate. Supporters are always asking why, why, why isolation. This is why!