Relationship Supporting husbands anxiety (Potential PTSD) whilst im pregnant and already have a toddler

[fawkeslite]

Hi,

I'm new to this kind of forum, so I don't know if people can help. Or even if we qualify. My husband isn't a veteran, he was abused as a child by a teen living with him after his dad broke with his mum and hooked up with another woman. I could go into alot more details.

But at the moment he's suffering a set back. Hes got burn out and all the good progress we've made has gone. He suffers from weekly panic attacks that cause him to thrash around on our bed gasping for air as hes breathing so quickly. I can't help him when he's like this and it hurts as I know he's hurting.

Mean while I have to work full time, run a house and care for a 2 year old all whilst pregnant. I'm struggling to support him and where we live we have no support. We are also locked into a 5 year mortgage so can't move right now.

His doctors have upped his medication and we are waiting for counselling for him. He's never been diagnosed ever!

I dont know how to make anything better. I'm so scared and alone. I wish someone could just come in and be my rock.

We can't meet with people it causes him to have break downs now. He can't even come to my grandparents funeral. It's just to much for him.

What can I do!

 

[Ecdysis]

Hi,

Sorry you and your husband are struggling with this.

to thrash around on our bed gasping for air as hes breathing so quickly

Is this when he's awake or asleep?

Getting help can be very frustrating, with the waiting times being so long.

This website is a great resource - both for you as a supporter, but also potentially for your husband, if he might be interested in it.

The website has a specialised AI tool that's tailored to trauma/ PTSD/ trauma therapy. Many of us here have tried it - with some scepticism at first - but have found it astoundingly helpful.

In this section you can look at some other people's conversations with the AI to get a sense of how it works and then you and/ or your husband can also start your own conversations with it. It might be a very helpful stop-gap, like the forum itself, until therapy is available:

Ask Dr. Catalyst

www.myptsd.com

Oh, and PTSD sucks, but it does get easier with time. You learn skills of how to deal with it, you understand it better, understand yourself/ your partner better... It does get more manageable.

It's important to do really good self-care as a supporter tho - I've been in both roles (sufferer/ supporter) and it's sooo easy to get burned out as a supporter, and that doesn't do you, your kids or your husband any good. So try and focus on your own mental health too!

 

[Sweetpea76]

I dont know how to make anything better. I'm so scared and alone. I wish someone could just come in and be my rock.

I don’t have any pithy advice. I can only tell you I know how this feels, how bad it sucks, and how lonely and stressful it is.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself when you’re taking care of everybody else. You have to keep yourself going.

 

[Friday]

Aloha!

I'm new to this kind of forum, so I don't know if people can help. Or even if we qualify. My husband isn't a veteran, he was abused as a child by a teen

I happen to have combatPTSD...but? If you spend longer than 20 minutes in PTSD circles (in the first world) you’ll find childhood trauma is the overwhelming MAJORITY of people with PTSD. Even our own informal survey it’s something like 250 to 12 >>> Poll - What Is The Cause Of Your PTSD?

Therapists are like any professional, though. They go where the work is. You don’t find homeless advocates on the Gold Coast, you find them on Skid Row. So if a therapist is focusing on the LGBTQ community? That’s San Francisco, Seattle, NYC. Refugees? Chicago, NYC, Boston. Et Cetera.

So if you live near a major military base in the US? Or in a country with socialized med? It might seem like everything PTSD is combat. It’s not. Most of the rest of the first world, away from bases & databases asking if you’re military (different budget applies)? It’s childhood trauma & domestic violence.

THIS site, though? Is all KINDS of PTSD, from all sources. But this forum? Ain’t about that. It’s about the very real struggles, challenges, triumphs, and brick-wall-bang-head-moments… of supporting/loving someone… with PTSD.

Welcome