Sufferer Symptoms & Spouses

[Taylorr1025]

Hello.

Lately I have been having terrible mood swings, and my symptoms just continuously add up. My boyfriend of three years still does not understand why I have the severe mood swings that I have. I will be fine one minutes and as soon as i am triggered it goes down hill. I start off so happy and immediately switch to being angry, irritable, and just plain bitchy. I snap on him over stupid things, like asking me "whats wrong?", or "Why are you so quiet?". He is an emotional person, and he takes it to heart. I have trued numerous times to explain to him that he hasn't done anything to upset me, or said anything I didn't like but he doesn't believe me. He knows about my CPTSD and he understands how to deal with everything I endure whether its flashbacks, dissociation, depression and everything in between, until it comes to the mood swings. I try giving him examples of how I have had this sudden rage and irritability to other people and not just him but he doesn't get it. How do I explain to him why these mood swings happen, and prove to him that it has nothing to do with him, and that I cannot control it?! I feel bad that it happens, and when I am aware of it I try way harder to control it but he still feels as though it is a personal attack...

 

[RecedingMoonlight]

I'm not sure if I have a solution to your problem, but maybe trying to cover over the symptoms of PTSD with him could help him understand a little more, and that your mood swings are a result of your symptoms, not of him specifically, if you're comfortable with it? A symptom of PTSD is a strong feeling of vigilence, and even if nothing is going on, sometimes the brain can and will think, "SOMETHING'S WRONG" even though nothing really is, and it will therefore cause mood swings. If he understands your dissassociations and flashbacks, then I'm sure he can understand the mood swings.

You said that he's an emotional person. Does he have disorders too, low self esteem? I'm sure that you appologize to him after you get angry, right? It just all comes down to communicating with one another openly. Explain that the moodswings are a part of the PTSD, just like dissociation and flashbacks are. Sometimes, people will say things that cause your brain to have a fight or flight switch light up, and it's not their fault: they're things that you're working on and things that you're doing your best to manage, but accidents happen.

If you want, you could also talk to him about maybe setting up safewords for when you're feeling a sudden moodswing coming along, so that you both know how to properly react, or so that you can give a cue that you can give each other space/comfort when you need it :) Just throwing around ideas. I hope this helps!

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome to the forum. :)

Are you raging at him?

 

[Tinyflame]

Wow. Well explained @RecedingMoonlight . :wideeyed:

Raging at anyone is no good. Maybe finding other ways to direct it might help. And if possible identifying it earlier to get a handle on it or not direct it at anyone. (Including yourself.)

 

[Friday]

he still feels as though it is a personal attack...

My experience is that -whatever it is you're doing- it will be a personal attack... Until you're either able to control yourself so you don't take your mood out on him, or take yourself elsewhere until you can.

 

[intothelight]

@RecedingMoonlight Welcome to the forum! :)

Are you currently in therapy? Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT) can help with developing the skills that will enable you to exercise some emotional regulation. It may be something that could help you.

 

[Gs172003]

I'm doing the same thing my dear. Once you know why it helps.