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The Dreams Again

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Overcoming

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It seems that I move forward and am good, a lot of times, in the day to day, but occasionally the dreams start again. I had another last night. The theme is similar. My grandmother allows the man who sexually abused me to move back into her home and he's there for the family gathering when I go to visit. He doesn't act vicious, but I'm scared and waiting for the moment he turns. Whatever that means I suppose. For a long time I struggled with feelings of shame that somehow I invited it and I am not sure how, but this is a similar theme in dreams too. He convinces the family I wanted it and produces some "evidence" that feels like it supports his statement. F! Idk. It's like he doesn't ever fully go away.
Today I felt vulnerable and anxious. I don't just disclose to people, so this is my safe place. Thnx.
 
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