Relationship The love of my life...

[Amber P.]

Hello,

I have briefly read through a few posts and really think this forum may help me learn and grow in understanding my husbands PTSD. Jerome, my husband, is a wonderful, caring and generous man who would literally do anything for me. He was in the army for 9 years right at the start of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Two tours to iraq, one being in Al Ramadi (spelling?) and both as army recon. His service to our country is something I am so proud of but it has changed him forever. He is prone to rages and sadness often even though over the last two years he has been making serious improvements. We talk about it a lot and he feels so guilty for how he acts but I know he cannot help it. For me, it is so hard to cope with his anger because it is so intense. I am extremely non-confrontational so we never argue or fight but it tears me up emotionally as I do not know how to deal with such intense anger. Jerome gets upset at me when I cry, which is often, because I think he feels so guilty for making me upset. I also feel angry when he is angry but I internalize it and hide it so that he can calm down. I love him more than life. He is my absolute soul mate and I would go to the ends of the earth for him but god is it hard at times. I do not have anyone to talk to about this and just writing this has lifted so much off of my chest.

Much love,
Amber

 

[Sighs]

Hi Amber. Join as a member - its free. There are plenty of us here who love our veterans very much but also know first hand how hard it can be to live with someone who suffers from PTSD. This place is a life saver! :hug:

 

[Cath]

For me, it is so hard to cope with his anger because it is so intense. I am extremely non-confrontational so we never argue or fight but it tears me up emotionally as I do not know how to deal with such intense anger. Jerome gets upset at me when I cry, which is often, because I think he feels so guilty for making me upset.

Hi Amber, i totally feel you for this since my boy friend who has PTSD do the same thing to me. He get mad very intesely then if i cry he get more upset. He doesnt give me a hug to let me feel it wasnt his purporse or anything at all. What ive noticed is he just shut down for hours then get back to me like nothing happened before.

I dont know how to deal or cope with this situation as well. but im here to say you are not alone! Hope other people could give you great thoughts and advices.

 

[Buttercup]

Hi Amber,

So sorry you're having a hard time! Reading your post reminded me of a book I got a while back - Loving Someone With PTSD by Aphrodite Matsakis.

It's really geared to married couples or life partners and family working with their sufferer (book is also geared toward veterans) and gaining skills and understanding to cope with the issues you're having with your husband. I'm not married or in a life partner type relarionship with my vet but it helped me so much. It helped me see and understand a lot more what is going on with him. I highly recommend that one for sure.

And this forum is great too! Welcome.