BPD I wish I didn’t have to live my life as a secret

[Luna_Moth]

I feel very strongly that I have to keep my new diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder hidden. I say that because I feel like if I’d tell someone they’d either deny its existence in me or they’d avoid me like the plague for seeing me as dangerous.

 

[Movingforward10]

I feel very strongly that I have to keep my new diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder hidden. I say that because I feel like if I’d tell someone they’d either deny its existence in me or they’d avoid me like the plague for seeing me as dangerous.

I think you are very wise to keep this personal and to choose carefully who you tell.
Of they can't honour what you tell them with care and sensitivity, then they don't deserve to know.
Maybe reframe it from looking at this as keeping a secret to choosing wisely about sharing your personal information.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

I think a reframe can be useful. it sucks to feel having xyz is taboo, but it’s also a safegaurding to choose who you share any diagnosis with wisely. because it’s very personal information.

that being said, how do you feel about sharing your symptoms with people? ie. not saying you have xyz but just sharing a symptom you experience when it feels appropriate?
that approach has helped me bring up stuff that would be too much of a can of worms to open up with someone if I shared a diagnostic term, without skirting around it too lightly.

what are you wanting out of sharing your diagnosis with someone?

 

[Luna_Moth]

what are you wanting out of sharing your diagnosis with someone?

I think I just wish I could be open with my family. The only ones who truly love me are halfway across the world, but I don’t know how I would tell them. It’s easier for me to tell friends or my roommate about it, but that’s because my roommate has a degree in psychology and has trauma of her own.

I guess I’m just depressed from the loneliness of it all.

 

[Luna_Moth]

People will always use the excuse that it makes them feel uncomfortable. Have they ever stopped to wonder how uncomfortable it is to live with PTSD your whole life? Or to have your identity taken from you to the point you develop DID or a Personality Disorder? People like that get the privilege to live their lives without any of these problems. Why do I have to suffer and live a lie to make someone else feel better about themselves and their bubble?

 

[Movingforward10]

Why do I have to suffer and live a lie to make someone else feel better about themselves and their bubble

You don't. You live your life, and express what works for you, in the context of the limitations that there are in family relationships and, to a lesser extent the limitations in friendships (but those you get to choose and hopefully those relationships are easier and have less limitations in them).