Relationship The Silence Hurts

[HelloMo80]

How's this for an update. My guy finally responds to me only to tell me that he doesn't trust me and I should "entertain whoever I want seriously."

I was like "whatever." Lol. We exchanged words, I maintained my cool but let him know that his words were untrue and they hurt. At this point, the man is either going to get over his issues and start to build with me...or lose me altogether. I'm exhausted with the combat-style relationship already. How someone can just be so "on" all the time is beyond me.

Yes, stress is culprit. Yes, distance sucks. Yes, it's hard when you're rebuilding. Yes, PTSD is a factor. And on and on and on. I'm a firm believer in just committing and doing it already. You can't be idle all your life waiting for perfection or peace to happen through osmosis. The real work has to be done. If not...then I firmly believe sufferers of ANY kind can't complain about how lonely life is because it's by their design when they constantly push people away. And I say that as someone who sufferers from a mental disorder myself. You can't hide behind it in order not to do the work. And if you do...then be prepared to live a lonely life of heartbreak as person after person walks out of your life.

Okay...end rant. lol!

 

[nursenurse]

Sometimes sufferers need a bit of a leg up, but it is as you say, they have to want to do the work. All we can do is support them, maybe point them in the right direction. When you think of it, this holds true for anyone in life, why we seem to single out PTSD sufferers is beyond me. Those who clearly desire change will not hide behing the label of the day.

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

So down... So tired...

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

My dad is having surgery today. He's my only living parent and we are very close. The only other person I was that close to was my sufferer. And I'm missing my sufferer and I'm so angry at him. I'm angry he went MIA. I guess we are done, but would have never guessed I'd lose his friendship.

I'm angry he said he was in this with me and he just left. Threw away what we had. I feel abandoned. No breakup, no last fight. One day we are fine and then next, he's just freaking gone. I'm just angry. And not feeling I really have a right to be angry at him. I know its his PTSD, but I can't help it.

So angry...

 

[jessb]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.

I wish I didn't understand what you are going through... unfortunately so many of us do.

If you want to chat, I'm here <3 and HUGE HUGS to you!

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

Thank you, I appreciate it.

I'm better. Still angry, but better.

Hug to you too.

 

[FaithJL]

I'm angry he said he was in this with me and he just left. Threw away what we had. I feel abandoned. No breakup, no last fight. One day we are fine and then next, he's just freaking gone. I'm just angry. And not feeling I really have a right to be angry at him. I know its his PTSD, but I can't help it....

I could have written what you wrote. I hope things get better for all of us.

 

[HelloMo80]

Update. We are no longer together and the more I think about it, it's for the best. That type of relationship is extra draining. It takes so much out of you and the other person as well. The thing is...they don't change unless they realize the problem and WANT to deal with it. If it's all your fault, all you and they are without fault, then why would he change? He doesn't see his contribution. He will continue to cycle over and over again until he realizes it's truly some of his doing...or he'll continue in the misery.

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I'm a bit sad too. However, I have to keep pressing forward. There are people out there where you will not have to deal with this type of emotional dodgeball. I hope you heal well and that person finds you! Good luck!