Sufferer The Unanswered Questions Of Loss - Mother’s Suicide

[anonymous for now]

Hello, i am new to this, i have never wrote a forum before but i'll try my best, I am 19 years old and my mother has recently passed due to taking her own life, i am writing today as i feel lost and without direction and wondered if anyone had any advice? thank you

 

[Invisible Fire]

Welcome to the forums. I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I am glad you have found this site. I don’t know what to say but I wanted you to know you are not alone

 

[anonymous for now]

Welcome to the forums. I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I am glad you have found this site. I don’t know what to say but I wanted you to know you are not alone

thank you, i appreciate your kind words

 

[Friday]

If this was very recently, in the past 6 months or so, and you didn’t have PTSD before... I cannot more highly recommend this >>> Traumatic resilience: avoiding ptsd

Witnessing your mother kill herself will always stay with you, and grief/bereavement is an entirely different burden to shoulder, but even if it’s already too late to avoid PTSD entirely, the same things that help there can also help begin to deal with this disorder.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!

Are you seeing a therapist?

Grief can be a monster, so it’s a good idea to have someone who can help you work through your grief, as well as other aspects of your mothers passing.

:hug:

 

[anonymous for now]

If this was very recently, in the past 6 months or so, and you didn’t have PTSD before... I cannot more highly recommend this >>> Traumatic resilience: avoiding ptsd

Witnessing your mother kill herself will always stay with you, and grief/bereavement is an entirely different burden to shoulder, but even if it’s already too late to avoid PTSD entirely, the same things that help there can also help begin to deal with this disorder.

Hello, thankyou for the reply, i have suffered from PTSD since i ran away from home when i was 16, im trying to get help from it but due to the funeral being so soon, my first therapy appointments in April (hense why ive been trying to find help online). it was only 3 weeks ago since i heard the news, i keep having nightmares. i dont know how to calm my subcoinsous. but i am very grateful for all of your replys.

 

[Freida]

I'm so sorry this happened. Depending on what city you are in, there are Trauma Intervention Program Teams that are wonderful at helping in the first few weeks after something like this. :hug:

 

[Fadeaway]

In my experiance thuis ons of the most difficult ages to losse a parent. I have a lot to say on this but have sleep meds kicking in. Hang in there.

 

[Friday]

16, im trying to get help from it but due to the funeral being so soon, my first therapy appointments in April (hense why ive been trying to find help online). it was only 3 weeks ago since i heard the news, i keep having nightmares.

One thing I’ve learned about PTSD is that it’s a marathon, rather than the sprint we all want it to be (that sense of foreshortened future kicking in? Or maybe just “This sucks. It can be done now.”).

It often feels like ... I have to do this NOW or <insert dire consequences here>... but facts are? It’s going to take awhile, and life stuff is going to come up (and rather than slow it down? It’s actually part of the process).

Big time stressors, like your mother’s death, are going to fill the stress cup ... and be further complicated by grief & life & it all gets a bit messy.

It’s okay to be a bit messy.

Help on the QV is really important in avoiding PTSD, but once you’ve already got it? Breathe. It’s going to be a long road. With amazing things and exhausting things, but a journey all the same. Journies tend to be easier in company.

Welcome.

 

[anonymous for now]

hello, thanking everyone for their replys, i feel like im doing better today , just taking each day as it comes.
this feeling isnt new to me and i think i can pull though. i am fine when i am awake for i understand the world around me and can accept what has happened, the problem is when i am alseep (for i dont have control over my thoughts). ive been having reaccuring nightmares for the past year, about my past, about my old life and i wake in fear. its one of the most horrible feelings i have had, some nights i wake screaming, i dont know why. does anyone have any advice on how to rest well?

 

[Justmehere]

There are some medications that can help with sleep, but they can some with drawbacks. Nightmares are part of PTSD.

I’ve found it helpful to have a routine before bed. Yet, some nights are a real struggle. Sometimes I play music on low or audiobooks with the hope it will distract my brain from going to the land of nightmares. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t.

 

[Deleted member 39750]

I am 19 years old and my mother has recently passed due to taking her own life, i am writing today as i feel lost

I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm glad you're here. If you wanna chat, I'm all ears. I lost a father to suicide at fifteen.

The initial shock was a thick and disorienting haze I didn't think I would ever make it through... Eventually I did.... But there's no easy answer and I'm sure you know that. I'm finally on decent terms with the pain; one of my sisters is still very much not. She refused to go to the funeral and she hasn't spoken to me even once in the 7+ years that have now passed.

I lost a few friends to it as well within the next few years. I think losing someone to suicide burns in a way that is different from other types of grief... Especially when it's someone you're close to.

Take care of yourself as best as you can. One breath, one step, one day at a time.