The Whacky World Of Ptsd

[KwanYingirl]

I know so much about PTSD... until it has its way with me. Take now, I am moving Thursday and I'm having a nervous breakdown. I am literally paralyzed. I have packed what I can, I am waiting for the dump guy to come tomorrow so I can clean. And I overbooked myself as some idiot way to distract me from being so anxious. So I need an extra day and I don't have it. But that's not the painful part.

My super excited, positive emotions are as painful to me as my bleak, depressed negative emotions are. I crave for the pendulum to hover softly in the middle. That's why I drank too much, why I isolate, why I go to therapy every week. My emotions HURT. I'm hyperventilating, I'm nauseous, I have a migraine, it feels like acid is running through my veins. And this is the excited me. How I wish it could just be...in the middle.

 

[desiderata310]

I get that. I do and damn it if panic attacks don't HURT!

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I am sorry you're feeling that way even when excited. I can complete understand it though. Remember to take it one day or one moment at a time. By this time next week, you'll be in your new place. And remember to breathe (not even deep breathing, just to breathe).

 

[littlelostchild]

I totally get it @KwanYingirl. Even the positive emotions bring out my anxiety. For me, it's like waiting for the shoe to drop, the bad things to come along and ruin the good, preparing for the worst to happen amid all the positive that it sucks the possible joy right out of the positive.

Try to do relaxing things amid the chaos. Breathe deeply as the move will pass and you will soon be in your new place. :)

 

[scout86]

I know so much about PTSD... until it has its way with me.

That is as "true" a comment as I have ever seen! At least now, once the dust settles, I can look back and say, "Oh, THAT'S what that was!" But, in the moment, it's a completely different universe!

Good luck with the move!

 

[SharkyorBones]

This is so new to me... I used to feel like that but I didnt get it then since being diagnosed with cptsd I avoid things that make me too happy and strive for the middle.. it sounds crazy but it feels safe and it feels just ok. Not painful, not scary, not over the top.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Oh, right, I forgot about breathing. Thank you!!!! Yesterday I ordered a resting Buddah for my new living room and a silk bracelet with an embossed tag that says "just breathe". Earlier I considered blowing off yoga to clean, but that's where I go to feel in the zone.

 

[Chava]

Wish I could come help you pack. Cancel stuff if needed, toss everything into garbage bags. breathing makes me anxious (ha!), yoga sounds good...

 

[KwanYingirl]

Oh, garbage bags, thanks Chava!

 

[scout86]

My favorite "packing music" is Willie Nelson's "On the Road Again".

 

[KwanYingirl]

Ok it's 4:30, the Patriots won!! I had a productive day got my room clean. Even took time for a nap but didn't need it. Emotions are regulating. Thanks for your support gang! Did I mention the Patriots won?