Therapist of 12 years retiring leaving no support

[Teamwork]

Went to my appointment yesterday with my psychologist whom I’ve been seeing for 12 or more years. He said he is going to semi-retire in October, leaving us just 5 more appointments. Initially I saw him and was able to pay because of a Criminal Injuries Award, but when it ran out he continued pro-bona on a reduced schedule of every 4 weeks with email in between. We do have DID, Complex PTSD and have made tremendous progress. The only place he can transition us to, because it is free is woefully inadequate. It is a hospital based team that assists and monitors activities of daily living, under-housed and those with addictions and tendencies for long hospital stays and run by mental health nurse, social workers and psychiatry. We don’t need that type of help. We are going to be saying no to that. Has anyone just decided to be done with therapy rather than restart with inadequate services? We have lots of unfinished business but it took years for him to get to know our system and to open up about the abuse we suffered. Mostly our triggers are largely unresolved and the emotional part of us is still not accessible to us. Insomnia and flashbacks still occur and some months are known to be super challenging. I also do not want to spend the next 5 appointments discussing transition because I feel like I’d rather focus on targeting some must does with him before time is up. Any experince thoughts would be great.

 

[Starfire]

Went to my appointment yesterday with my psychologist whom I’ve been seeing for 12 or more years. He said he is going to semi-retire in October, leaving us just 5 more appointments. Initially I saw him and was able to pay because of a Criminal Injuries Award, but when it ran out he continued pro-bona on a reduced schedule of every 4 weeks with email in between. We do have DID, Complex PTSD and have made tremendous progress. The only place he can transition us to, because it is free is woefully inadequate. It is a hospital based team that assists and monitors activities of daily living, under-housed and those with addictions and tendencies for long hospital stays and run by mental health nurse, social workers and psychiatry. We don’t need that type of help. We are going to be saying no to that. Has anyone just decided to be done with therapy rather than restart with inadequate services? We have lots of unfinished business but it took years for him to get to know our system and to open up about the abuse we suffered. Mostly our triggers are largely unresolved and the emotional part of us is still not accessible to us. Insomnia and flashbacks still occur and some months are known to be super challenging. I also do not want to spend the next 5 appointments discussing transition because I feel like I’d rather focus on targeting some must does with him before time is up. Any experince thoughts would be great.

Going thru the same thing. My T cut way back on clients. He told me he was considering retirement in the future, no plans.then I noticed a change to the decor of his office. When I mentioned it, he said he was now sharing his office. But no change in appointments.
We did start alternating in office and on-line. Noticed on line began to be from his home. Slowly his dogs started interrupting our sessions. Figured he wasn’t broadcasting from his at-home office when he waved to hi wife as she “came home from grocery shopping”. Could she hear me?

He always said if there was an ER I could call. That’s been less than one time a year. He commented that he knows when I call there is a serious problem. He almost immediately returned my call within minutes. I called a couple weeks ago. He called two days later commenting he was sorry he didn’t “notice” my call earlier A T that doesn’t check his messages regularly?

I think he has ‘mentally retired’. His head’s not in it any more.

Thanks for sharing this. Will follow other comments. Hope you continue to post so I can learn from your experience.

 

[whiteraven]

Has anyone just decided to be done with therapy rather than restart with inadequate services?

Yes. I also have DID and cPTSD, and I left my diagnosing therapist because he was abusive, but we had made loads of progress up until that time. I went for 10 years without therapy, and it was arguably my healthiest time. I eventually went back for depression, but I find that I actually manage much better day-to-day without.

 

[Friday]

Initially I saw him and was able to pay because of a Criminal Injuries Award, but when it ran out he continued pro-bona on a reduced schedule of every 4 weeks with email in between.

So he’s been seeing you for 11 years, for free?

I’m not sure if that’s kind, or dismissive/controlling/limiting you from seeking vital help elsewhere.

It could be either, or both. Kind, to remain a stablizing influence you can rely upon, regardless of or where life/therapy takes you… until their own life caught up to them. Dismissive/controlling/limited if he himself prevented you from seeking better alternatives.

 

[Teamwork]

So he’s been seeing you for 11 years, for free?

I’m not sure if that’s kind, or dismissive/controlling/limiting you from seeking vital help elsewhere.

It could be either, or both. Kind, to remain a stablizing influence you can rely upon, regardless of or where life/therapy takes you… until their own life caught up to them. Dismissive/controlling/limited if he himself prevented you from seeking better alternatives.

No I paid for 4 years-when he went pro-bono it shifted to one session every 4 weeks.

 

[Teamwork]

Yes. I also have DID and cPTSD, and I left my diagnosing therapist because he was abusive, but we had made loads of progress up until that time. I went for 10 years without therapy, and it was arguably my healthiest time. I eventually went back for depression, but I find that I actually manage much better day-to-day without.

Mine was really great for many years slow decline but not too noticeable. Since friday things have changed so much that I’ve come to feel I do not trust him and may make the May 30th the last appointment instead of staying until October. The reason is, he told me this on Friday, said at some point he would need to talk to my doctor. If he were to phone as in the past he only did it 2 times both with asking me first. Yesterday he emailed and said he had contacted my gp and would like to get my health card number to get this started. I have DID/CPTSD and we’ve gone into panic mode. We looked the program up. We wanted to talk with doctor. This is a community led team. This means a handful of people know our diagnosis and my doctor becomes a part of the mental health team. I do not want this. It’s all about life skills, medication compliance, setting goals. Meant for those with serious mental illness. I’ve been actively looking up what my rights to refuse are.

 

[Teamwork]

Going thru the same thing. My T cut way back on clients. He told me he was considering retirement in the future, no plans.then I noticed a change to the decor of his office. When I mentioned it, he said he was now sharing his office. But no change in appointments.
We did start alternating in office and on-line. Noticed on line began to be from his home. Slowly his dogs started interrupting our sessions. Figured he wasn’t broadcasting from his at-home office when he waved to hi wife as she “came home from grocery shopping”. Could she hear me?

He always said if there was an ER I could call. That’s been less than one time a year. He commented that he knows when I call there is a serious problem. He almost immediately returned my call within minutes. I called a couple weeks ago. He called two days later commenting he was sorry he didn’t “notice” my call earlier A T that doesn’t check his messages regularly?

I think he has ‘mentally retired’. His head’s not in it any more.

Thanks for sharing this. Will follow other comments. Hope you continue to post so I can learn from your experience.

I’ve answered a few others so if you read that it will update. I see my doctor Thursday to see if I have to take the only option available in our city. Mine has done the same, slow to return emails, not as connected, now that I know I can look back a bit clearer and see why I was wondering about subtle differences in his approach.

 

[whiteraven]

Yesterday he emailed and said he had contacted my gp and would like to get my health card number to get this started. I have DID/CPTSD and we’ve gone into panic mode.

Oh, yeah...I'd not be able to go back after that!

 

[Teamwork]

Oh, yeah...I'd not be able to go back after that!

Everything has gone silent in my head, like a huge shut down all of a sudden. As to next steps, I’ll know more when I see my gp tomorrow as I’ll be asking her what note she logged for the phone call and for a copy of it. Just means I don’t trust her either at the moment so getting a copy of what she documented will help or make things worse. I don’t find it fair that he gets to say what he wants, without reviewing with me what I agree to. In the past he offered choice, as in this is what I will say, is there anything in it you don’t want me to say. I don’t understand all these rapid changes given there are a number where I feel he is grossly out of character and sidestepping much of what he always said. Ya, I’m confused. I think this is what they call a rupture in the therapy relationship. My head is saying, well it makes it easier to not miss the guy, since this one is new to me.