Sexual Assault They tried to kill me

[TraumaticHealing]

But they couldn't kill a 4,5 years old.
I am bloody serious.

They tried to suffocate me using different methods. Due to my body violently shaking they couldn't do it.

Then one said he would do it alone. He tried to break my neck. But he didn't use enough power. I had a dusty jute sack over my head and body, which made me sneeze while crying, that made me so adorable that they stopped trying, decided to let me go, so I could be found while "missed" got back to my temporary parents which ordered the murder and I can type this now, 28,5 years later.

The graves where already digged in the corn field, next to the forest.

I survived.

 

[Mytime]

Welcome to the forum. It must of been hard sharing your story. I’m glad you found us and reaching out for support.

 

[TraumaticHealing]

Thanks. I am afraid my story is so bizarre, I think people, even my therapist(s), won't believe me.

 

[Freida]

I am afraid my story is so bizarre, I think people, even my therapist(s), won't believe me.

Welcome! And though it is sad to say this, there are many people here who will believe you because their stories are just as bizarre. It is amazing the horrible things people will do to children - and it is amazing the strength those children have to survive.

 

[Mytime]

I believe you :hug:

 

[Sweetleaf]

Thanks. I am afraid my story is so bizarre, I think people, even my therapist(s), won't believe me.

I believe you.

I have this problem myself - fear that people will find my story too extreme to be real, or think I'm lying because they think nobody would go through that for so long, etc. But so far every single professional I've spoken with has believed me. All the professionals I've dealt with believe me, there's nothing to fear with them. Now my only fear in telling them about things that happened to me is the distress trying to do that can cause for me.

That said, I still mostly refrain from telling people I know about my trauma, outside of this place or with my therapist/pdoc. I've painted a general picture for a few people but never went very far into the details, just gave a super generalized account.

Your therapist has probably heard more bizarre, don't worry about it. Easier said than done, but still, they're there to hear that stuff and help people with it.

 

[shimmerz]

But they couldn't kill a 4,5 years old.
I am bloody serious.

Me too. Except I was less than 2 years old. Smothering, specifically. I get it. I live it. I believe you.

 

[TraumaticHealing]

Me too. Except I was less than 2 years old. Smothering, specifically. I get it. I live it. I beli...

Jeez... i have no words, the grief you must have had. My body remembers the events and tell me when I am ready, how did you find out?

I believe you.

I have this problem myself - fear that people will find my story too extreme to be r...

I tell my trauma in a very abstract way, what I felt, the conclusions I drew about the world and myself, the impact in life.

If I tell them the horrors, they don't want to hear, they cut of the coversation or start to tell me the positive side of it. So I quitted doing that. But the abstract things turn out to be relatively well received.

 

[frogthroat]

I believe you too. I was brutally tortured as well. It wasn't attempted murder but I was strangled with an extension cord to the point of blacking temporarily out quite often. I also thought my abuse was too extreme to talk about until I found this website and found other people with similar experiences. It actually gave me the courage to find a trauma specialist. My therapist believes me too.
I'm glad you've shared your story as horrible as it is.