Things They Don't Tell You Or Ever Talk About

[Anna]

What really kind of gets to me, is the things that they never talk about or ever tell you, especially about sexual assault.

Main issue is when you are assaulted when you are a virgin as opposed to not being a virgin. Especially the physical damage that can happen afterwards. I have seen many times for example the subject of vaginal fistulas being discussed due to childbirth or violent rape during war, however what about day to day life when people get assaulted? It is something never discussed or ever taken seriously. Surely, if you are assaulted and you get such an injury this would make the sexual assault bodily harm as well? Noone ever talks about this, and quite often even when you are treated for such an injury it is never discussed. It seems to be a really serious taboo subject.

Do you think such assaults when creating such damage should be punished harsher? what are your views and opinions?

 

[Lsquaredw]

I think that when such great bodily damage is done the punishment should be more severe. Whether it is physical harm or mental harm, the person who did it should be prosecuted in the correct manner. I don't want to tell you what my views on that is, because I am sure that I would make some people angry. I do feel that it should be discussed more though. It would make the victims feel more comfortable about speaking up about the phsycial aspects of the abuse.

 

[miss_isolated]

No, I don't don't think they should be punished harsher.

I have considered whether or not that situation your speaking of is "the worst kind of sexual abuse" and I now feel it minimizes victims experiences. I think sexual abuse/assault/rape/child porn/moelstation should all receive the same punishments.

Their equally as destructive. Even though our experiences are very unique, we are all dealing with very similar issues in the aftermath of our violation.

Otherwise people that watch child porn and take pics of kids nude etc without ever physically touching a child would be just right in doing what their doing.

 

[Lucycat]

Hmm, interesting thread this. Actually I think if the sexual abuse results in a physical injury then it probably should be an additional charge. I also suspect that if the victim requires medical treatment ( as opposed to psychological help alone) then they are more likely for the crime to be reported. I may be wrong, but I am thinking that if someone is bleeding then they are less able to hide it.

In no way would I suggest that child porn is a lesser crime as watching it must encourage people to produce/create it. But it is its own crime.

I suppose I think of the whole thing like if you were attacked and had one arm broken it is a big crime. If your friend had their arm and leg broken it is another big crime. 2 injuries. Both victims would feel equally traumatised, but one would require additional medical care.

I am not sure that I am making my point very clearly here?

 

[Anna]

I also suspect that if the victim requires medical treatment ( as opposed to psychological help alone) then they are more likely for the crime to be reported. I may be wrong, but I am thinking that if someone is bleeding then they are less able to hide it.

Sadly sometimes hospital staff turn "a blind eye" When I was rushed into ER almost dying needing a blood transfusion and a major OP. It was never reported. Unless you actually say something or report it, they fix you up and send you out, like a sausage factory. I only got the therapy I needed when I started self harming and my gynae noticed it and referred me. It is the same with domestic violence, the amount of times people are in hospital. I was 17 when I was put into hospital. They even told me I was lucky they had changed the law that I could sign the consent forms, normally they would have had to of told my parents!!! LOL

 

[cherryblossom]

Sadly sometimes hospital staff turn "a blind eye" When I was rushed into ER almost dying needing a blood transfusion and a major OP. It was never reported.

Isn't that because of patient confidentiality? Medical staff can't just report injuries to the Police, without the patients consent. Presumably when your gynae referred you, you were told you were being referred? Also there has to be an agreed age of consent (generally 16), otherwise my parents would still be being informed every time I seek medical help.

Perhaps something different should have occurred in your case, but medical staff treat patients under very strict rules and laws with regards to patient confidentiality.

Back to the original question - Yes, I think acts that cause physical harm should be more harshly punished. That is not to say that those acts that cause solely emotional trauma shouldn't be punished severely too.

Otherwise people that watch child porn and take pics of kids nude etc without ever physically touching a child would be just right in doing what their doing.

People who watch child porn should of course be punished. But my opinion is that those who take the pictures and distribute them should be given a harsher punishment, and those that harm a child should be given an even harsher punishment.

While it is very hard to quantify the amount of harm caused if the abuse is emotional, rather than physical, there always has to be degrees in punishment for any act of wrong doing or law breaking. It's also sometimes difficult to predict the amount of long-term damage (either mentally or physically), at the time of sentencing an offender. For example if someone gets their arm broken during an assault, it is not always clear cut whether that person will have life long pain from their injury.

However, there always has to be degrees of punishment otherwise we have 'all or nothing', and every crime, no matter what the outcome for the 'victim' will carry either a life sentence or zero punishment.

 

[miss_isolated]

Hmm, interesting thread this. Actually I think if the sexual abuse results in a physical injury then it probably should be an additional charge.

Yes, I agree it should be an additional charge - a charge of physical assault - in addition to the sexual assault itself. Just not incorporated into the sexual assault. Because sexual assault is sexual assault and physical assault is physical assault. Said victim endured 2 separate crimes.

Ideally, to me they'd give sexual abusers all an automatic life sentence. No 1st degree, 2nd degree etc. But some people do get framed and are innocent so people have the right to a fair trial.

And the all or nothing theory CherryBlossom mentioned does seem to make sense.

It could all be the same degree... maybe, not sure but this is a serious topic so I feel a bit muddled when discussing it... I think I might have been talking rubbish! lol :eek:

This really must be taboo.

 

[Anna]

Isn't that because of patient confidentiality? Medical staff can't just report injuries to the Police, without the patients consent. Presumably when your gynae referred you, you were told you were being referred? Also there has to be an agreed age of consent (generally 16), otherwise my parents would still be being informed every time I seek medical help.

Indeed they are bound by rules of patient confidentialty. Also though medical staff are trained only to treat patients medically, they are not experts in psychological issues either. They can refer people to psychologists, therapists etc... but normally only do so when they deem this to be necessary, such as if the patient is a risk to themselves or other people.

This does not occur when someone is rushed to ER with an injury. The only thing they can do is ask, if the patients cannot answer because they are severly distressed it is a very hard situation to be in. In fact for medical personal they are in a rock and a hard place. Their job is to treat peoples injuries, not to psychologically evaluate people or judge if a crime has been committed.

 

[cherryblossom]

And the all or nothing theory CherryBlossom mentioned does seem to make sense.

It doesn't make sense to me! That was my point. There has to be degrees of punishment for crimes, otherwise someone who steals sweets from a shop, or who drives 5mph over the speed limit would get the same punishment as someone who kills someone.

The difficult part is quantifying the degree of harm caused by the crime. Who decides? The court? The judge? The politicians? Doctors?


Anna, I'm confused what point you are making. You came across as quite critical of the ER staff who treated you, as though you felt let down by the ER staff

Sadly sometimes hospital staff turn "a blind eye" When I was rushed into ER almost dying needing a blood transfusion and a major OP. It was never reported.

But now you say

Their job is to treat peoples injuries, not to psychologically evaluate people or judge if a crime has been committed.

I'm not criticising you, I'm just confused about what point you are making.

 

[Anna]

I was let down by the ER staff, but I understand why they let me down.

Is it wrong to be able to forgive and understand why people do the things they do?? They see terrible injuries on a daily basis, if they did not shut these things out and took everything to heart they would not be able to do their job properly.

 

[cherryblossom]

Is it wrong to be able to forgive and understand why people do the things they do??

Not at all, I think it's very commendable. Sometimes people can't see things from the other side, if they feel let down or angry.

 

[Anna]

If it was not for them, I would not be sitting writing this now. I would be dead. They saved my life. I will be eternally grateful to them for that.