Mach123
MyPTSD Pro
The thing I commiserate with most is how you feel trying to read the responses and the caveat you asked us to observe because I did that too. Writing it was so hard .
As for feeling it was my fault or I could have saved myself idk. Not so much . Shame I think but not for that reason particularly. Later in life the way I behaved and brought things on myself because of it. Wishing I could have fought the monsters I continually created.
But I didn’t know I was doing that.
I guess I wished it has happened to someone else? That I was reading about it instead of remembering it.
The Therapist helped me a lot . She’s a specialist in this and knew how I felt . I didn’t have to explain. I really needed to have someone else tell me, so I had a chance to believe it.
As for feeling it was my fault or I could have saved myself idk. Not so much . Shame I think but not for that reason particularly. Later in life the way I behaved and brought things on myself because of it. Wishing I could have fought the monsters I continually created.
But I didn’t know I was doing that.
I guess I wished it has happened to someone else? That I was reading about it instead of remembering it.
The Therapist helped me a lot . She’s a specialist in this and knew how I felt . I didn’t have to explain. I really needed to have someone else tell me, so I had a chance to believe it.