Thoughts - conflict between two therapists

[hithere]

I know I did the right thing. If I didn’t quit I think I would have lost my current therapist. Howe...

wow, deep respect for you. hurting is not fun.. . so hang in there

 

[piratelady]

id this actually work for you? I mean "really" work for you?

It did. It's almost like as I worked through a lot of the problems that brought me to therapy and started rebuilding my life, those needs were met elsewhere. It was after I reached that point that I met my husband.

That being said, when I started to back slide a month or two ago, I found I craved that from him - or someone again. I wonder if it's because he's the one person who knows all of it and so I feel a deeper connection. I'm not really sure, but I've wondered about it a lot more lately.

 

[Swift]

Wow.... massive respect for quitting, even though it must be so, so hard.
Bet your inner child hates it right about now.
@Snowflake, you deserve love and care and attention and affection.
You deserve all of those things; but you deserve them from the right people, for the right reasons.
Anything like that feels good. Of course it does.
Your T with the strict boundaries has them with you because she cares about you, not because she doesn't.
Well done.
Making the right decisions sucks sometimes.

 

[Snowflake]

Wow.... massive respect for quitting, even though it must be so, so hard.
Bet your inner child hates it...

Thanks-yes my inner child is upset with me right now for quitting.

 

[Friday]

Children being upset is part of how they learn.

For example, if this was your daughter upset with you for not allowing her to play with an unsafe/ dangerous individual ... not only would that remain in the back of her mind as she’s meeting new people (not every new person is someone who is safe; the beginnings of learning discretion), but the lessons you teach her & the explanations you give her help to shape that discretion. With real children these lessons are repeated hundreds of times. Sometimes superficially, sometimes with real heartbreak, but they form the basis of how they choose their friends, acquaintances, colleagues, & employees throughout their lives. A parent only has the power to direct with whom they spend time with when they’re very young. Once you’re hitting adolescence at best the adults in their lives can only influence (rather than direct) their choices. (And if you haven’t done your job right, you don’t even have influence, because the respect simply isn’t there.)

If you’re someone who has difficulty with confrontation, agency, responsibility, abuse, &/or leadership? People being upset with you is very good practice. Even when it’s your own self being upset with you.

Just because someone is upset with you, doesn’t mean that you did the wrong thing, nor does it have to have tragic consequences. People can be upset with you for doing the right thing, and everything will not only still be okay, but actually be better than it was. You can be upset with yourself, with the exact same outcome.

So just because you’re upset with yourself right now? That doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

 

[grit]

Good for you for quitting this therapy.
I think for a longer term, you will realize this was a good decision for your inner child too. Without safety and boundary, therapy is just another intrusive experience.

 

[Mach123]

I had multiple therapists for awhile. They work for you. Use them. I weaned eventually down to one. You did also I guess. : ) It's hard, they quit on you and stuff and when you are not so strong you can become very strongly attached and feeling dependent. I mean, I was. I'm stronger now. IDK exactly where I am right now in therapy? It's not as important as it was. We were apart for three weeks and I went through a lot of heavy sh*t alone. I wrote her a couple times, but only when I was really stretched. I feel different after that. I don't know what I'd do with more than one now!