Seeing two therapists at the same time?

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Can I ask what's up with this non-ethically wise?

Because for a time my both therapists were British. True, both private practice. Though it hasn't been mentioned having more than one is an issue.

So is this a public health care legislative issue, administration, or something else?
I've been warned numerous times by several therapists that having multiple therapists is a bad idea. Just my experience told to me by professionals.
 
Hey @barefoot I think one may compliment the other. Don't let either go especially right now with this pandemic & the work you're re family.

Tell your private t but don't bother with the NHS. That's for a very specific time frame & mode of t so it's likely you'll really need your private when the NHS finishes?

I know you don't like telling a lie & that's a great general good faith way of living. But it's done now. Nothing to be gained by retracting & perhaps lots could be lost.

Go to both. Check out how you feel & make decisions based on your experience as you progress.

I've got a psydoc & a t. Both are for t. I'm staying away from meds so I m needing the extra support. And not whining but the last few years I've needed all I could get.

If in doubt wait, defer your decision until you get a feel for it all.

Best & stay well.
 

Teasel

MyPTSD Pro
With 3 different private therapists I was seeing (one after the other, not at the same time:laugh:) NHS treatment became available. I had no problems with seeing both any of those times. Though the private therapists showed mild ... I'd almost say jealousy, not quite the right word, but something like that. One of the private therapists wasn't happy with me seeing both the others were fine.

If it was me, I'd grab both with both hands. With it being EMDR you might find yourself exhausted after each session. So if I found it too much to do both I'd ask the private therapist for a break for a couple months.

Sorry not read every reply.

Congrats on getting offered EMDR :D
 

barefoot

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks for the replies – all useful food for thought as I try to work out what to do.
first and foremost congrats for getting EMDR that you waited for so long!
Thanks @grit Tbh, I'm still not sure about EMDR – I feel quite cautious – perhaps a little worried even – about it. But I am quite intrigued to try something new to see what happens!
It is empowering to be able to say therapist, I have not stopped seeing my private therapist and I did not know I suppose to
Yes...I do wish I had said this earlier rather than blurting out my panicked fib! :(
All that said, if you are paying both therapist or one from out of pocket, IMHO, you can keep them both - after all it is your money. If they are covered, that may be legally and morally questionable and your best bet is to get the right information about keeping them - are you allowed or for how long?
I pay for the private one. The NHS one would be free to access – in part paid for by my taxes, of course!
if your private therapist is good and worth her money, she will be very supportive for you to get EMDR and will support you - they are not the same modality so they should not conflict to a point.
Yes, the fact that they are different modalities makes me think it could be useful doing them both. I don't think I would consider doing two similar talk therapies with different therapists alongside each other as I can see how that could get confusing and that it might get complicated if I liked one more than the other or if they had a complete different take on something I'd discussed with both of them etc. But my private therapist is largely psychodynamic and she doesn't offer EMDR. So, I think they could be complementary?

I'm not sure whether she has a view on EMDR as a modality though. I don't know whether she would think me having EMDR would be a good thing or not.
one specifically for EMDR, the other for talk therapy.
This is what mine would be too SRG – I think they could be very complementary, so it's useful to hear you've had a positive experience with it.
I would say as long as you keep each other abreast of anything major going on, it can work.
I guess this is the sticking point though. I don't know what my private therapist's position is on me seeing someone else at the same time as her. I know the NHS one has a policy that they don't want you receiving other mental health support at the same time. I don't know why that is. So, if I were to go ahead with both, I would probably have to keep schtum about the private therapist to the NHS person. That feels somewhat ok to me...I feel differently about the NHS offering...I know it will only be a fairly short term offering, the purpose is to do some EDMR, I don't think the relationship will be a thing in the way that it is with psychodynamic. So, withholding that bit of info from her – although it doesn't feel 100% brilliant to me as I'm naturally more for transparency in general – doesn't feel like it would harm the EMDR process? It doesn't feel the same as withholding the info from my private therapist who I've worked closely with for nearly six years....keeping it a secret from her would probably feel like that would be in the way, I think...
I easier process everything, trauma included, if I can multitask & switch gears fluidly.
Yes, this makes sense to me...
So vote for extra resources = useful & do it.

Just because it may not be usual does not mean much...
I think this is where I am with it too.... Because, yes, I think part of my angst is definitely tied up with not wanting to leave my private therapist because I'm attached...but I genuinely do think I can do both and have them support each other.

But, ultimately, what I'm prepared to do or want to do won't matter if I come clean with my private therapist and then she says we'll have to stop working together!
They both NEED to know what you're processing, in order to be effective in their treatment
I do get this argument. In particular, if I was doing EMDR elsewhere, I can see how it would be beneficial for my private therapist to know that, so that she is on the same page with what else I'm doing... And, more to the point, that it could be detrimental if she doesn't know that that's what I'm doing outside of my time and space with her.
You say she was fine with it but YOU felt awkward. Thinking this is more about your worry and maybe a concern she will drop you.
Yes, I think that's a valid observation :) I don't want my private therapist to think this is me trying to get a way out of seeing her because she isn't good enough or whatever. I know I don't need to look after her and what she may or may not think/feel about it. But I do talk to her about wanting to run from her/therapy etc so I don't want her to misinterpret this as me trying to find an exit. I tried to explain that when we talked about this NHS thing earlier in the year....then thought I sounded like I was protesting too much! Cue more me feeling awkward!
This sounds good. And hey...it might be helpful for you to decide ahead of time what you will do if she is not on board with it. If I were in the same situation, I would probably not be willing to give up my current therapist. And it would help you to understand where you stand on that.
Yes....I think I need to put this out there as an open question with her and see where that leads...
I have to say that lying about your therapy with each therapist is probably a bad idea
Yeah...I would say that too! Am annoyed with myself that I panicked earlier and blurted out that I'd finished therapy when I hadn't....in the moment, I didn't know what to say because the way she worded her question assumed that I had finished....and she quickly followed it up (before I'd answered) by asking how long I saw her for....could I remember how many sessions or how many months it was for. (Er...it's been nearly six years!) And those two questions...I panicked and felt ugh because a) I felt like I'd done something wrong by not finishing with my therapist and b) I felt embarrassed that I'd been doing therapy with her for too long (not just a matter of X sessions or months) So, I felt thrown, I felt like I'd done something wrong, I felt embarrassed and probably a bit ashamed...cue panic...cue blurting out the 'right' answer...which was a lie.

So, yeah....definitely not ideal and I wish I hadn't done that....but I've said it now!
Choose which one you want to do and then start again.
I'm just not really wanting to choose one and don't know that choosing both couldn't be a really good option if I do very different modalities with both..
Refer yourself back.
Sorry, not sure what you mean by this?

@Mach123 thanks for sharing your experience and I'm glad it was so positive for you.
 
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barefoot

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks @blackemerald1 - yes, I am thinking they could complement each other well?

Tell your private t but don't bother with the NHS. That's for a very specific time frame & mode of t so it's likely you'll really need your private when the NHS finishes?

Go to both. Check out how you feel & make decisions based on your experience as you progress.

I think these ^^^ probably reflect what I want to do...


With 3 different private therapists I was seeing

I did think you meant all at once at first – I was like, whoa! :)

If it was me, I'd grab both with both hands. With it being EMDR you might find yourself exhausted after each session. So if I found it too much to do both I'd ask the private therapist for a break for a couple months.

Yes, I think this is a possibility....so sort of feeling my way and making adjustments as I go...

Congrats on getting offered EMDR

Thanks! I'm terrified, of course... ;)

I meant finish with your therapist and do the emdr. Then go back to your therapist.

Oh, I see....sorry for being a bit thick there! This is certainly a possibility and what the NHS sevice would want (and possibly what my private therapist would say too). I think my main thinking around it is, if I do the EMDR, I would expect there to be things getting stirred up/emotional fall out etc...and it feels to me that my private T would be a good support for that between EMDR sessions?
 
I know the NHS one has a policy that they don't want you receiving other mental health support at the same time. I don't know why that is.

^I think it's got to do with the NHS being a public health service. They are wrongly of the opinion that if you can do private they don't need to be helping you & they'd say 'go find a private EMDR specialist'.

I don't really know ^ but the NHS is sort of like our public health system here. They allocate a small bucket of funds & get picky about who they will administer their help to - particularly in the mental health area?


and it feels to me that my private T would be a good support for that between EMDR sessions?

^Absolutely true.

Before you tell your private t wait to see if the EMDR actually, really & truly does start @barefoot because there may be some hiccups due to pandemic.

If it does start and it's time to tell her - simply explain that this is EMDR only - and you just want to give it a go - but you don't want to lose her & her support because the NHS is of limited sessions. I'm sure she'll understand what you mean.
 

Lumos

MyPTSD Pro
NHS being a public health service. They are wrongly of the opinion that if you can do private they don't need to be helping you & they'd say 'go find a private EMDR specialist
I think that's probably one of the main reasons they tell you to only have one therapist at a time. It makes sense, if people can afford private therapy (of any kind) then why ask the NHS to provide it?

It may be good to ask advice at British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy @barefoot - you can contact them, they are good (I've contacted them a few times when I've been in doubt (for different reasons) about therapy and therapists).
 

Ronin

MyPTSD Pro
Even putting aside the financial side (just because one is -able- to pool money outta somewhere if really need be doesn't mean they are well off / or that they aren't barely paying bills) -

May be different resources.

Both in how the private & public operate in terms of practices, confidentiality / disclosure issues, mandatory reporting and extent of it and to whom, and cooperation / different side organizations are better linked with others on that specific area.

Private & public might simply be good for different needs & clientelle at the time.

Also scheduling flexibility that may not be so hot in the public sector.
 
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