Time Confusion

[Thinkingman85]

Five years ago, I had a breakdown. It was because I lost my mother at 15, lost my father at 17, my older brother became a deceptive drug addict, and I felt all alone. Since then, I've been on an antidepressant and going to therapy once a week. The medication is definitely lifting my mood and the therapy is helping me open up. My concern is that I feel like I'm living in the future. I think it's because some aspect of myself is still trapped in the past and won't let go. I may have to grieve much more since I didn't cry over my father's death. After my father died, I thought, "Why cry? I've been through this before. I know how it is to lose somebody. I lost my mom two years ago. I don't need to cry. I'll get by." I know that there is something holding me back from feeling like I'm in the present moment... I just don't know what it is. Does anyone else experience this feeling?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi, I do not have anything to say to your question. I cannot cry at all. It makes grieving very hard. I will grieve when my husband dies. Probably the floodgates will open up and I will not be able to stop.

I am sorry you are going through this. I wish I could have been some help. Mabe someone will come along who knows this too. Hugs.

 

[timid_flower]

I think it's because some aspect of myself is still trapped in the past and won't let go

I can relate to this feeling. For me it's a constant feeling that I'm still that frightened 12 year old girl. When I found myself completely helpless and alone. I lost all trust in people. Now as an adult, I have to constantly fight those instinctive feelings. Constantly reminding myself that I'm not that girl anymore, but my feelings make me feel stuck in that time. In a way I feel like that's all I know. I don't know how to move on from that.