To Be Or Not To Be

[bell]

Um, are you here for help? Or here to be defensive? People are trying to help you. Lashing out and/or being short does no one any good, most of all you.

 

[Maggiemay]

I've used diazepam in the past (& will continue to as it works for me!) but only for short periods e.g. a week. Most I've taken it for is probably 6 weeks. It is so addictive my psych wouldn't prescribe it for me. 30mg a day seems like a very high dose to me, I deffo couldn't function On that much! Have u tried other options? I'm on betablockers which on the whole have done wonders for the physical symptoms On anxiety - worth a try rather than becoming addicted to something? Xxx

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I don't think I know everything, I'm well aware of many things that I don't know, I'm just unsure of what to do, and really really nervous right now. I will try to sleep and continue the talk on this thread after a night. The thing about being addicted to the pills, is there any alternative which is not as addictive, like small doses of medical marijuana. Any alternative? And for coping stuff, I can't quite cope with much stuff if I live in a town I hate, seeing places I hate on daily basis.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Maggiemay
Well, a lower dose has no effect at all. I will look up a bit on the beta blockers, as they seem like an alternative. Do they help with sleep and/or nightmares. Currently having a headache.and stomachache.

 

[bell]

I don't really care about addiction

Also, that you don't care about addiction means you don't know about it. It's a rude awakening by any means and makes you do stuff you would never normally do, trust me you don't want to know about it.

As for what you can do? Let people help you.

You can cope. And you will be stronger for it.

 

[joeylittle]

@otakujome, I think it would be good for you to be aware that you've probably got three things going on right now.

One, you have unresolved trauma that you haven't been able to get good therapy for - and you are under a lot of stress because your trauma environment - school - is something you go to every day.

Two, you are a 14 year old male - so you are going through a big hormone/growth blast right now. That, all by itself, makes people sometimes want to jump out of their skin.

Three, your communication with your parents isn't very good, and they aren't relating to you in helpful ways right now. So you are lacking in a positive adult authority-figure/go to for help person. You found this forum, and I think we can stand in for some of that need, but not all of it.

You do need to learn better coping skills. I think you should give those a real solid try before you can say that you need daytime medication to make coping possible for you. Meds are always used to help the ability to cope, they can't be relied on to replace the ability to cope. Especially, especially the addictive ones. (and I know you've heard this already, but it can't be said enough).

Would you be willing to actually work with a therapy workbook? Maybe a PTSD thing, maybe a CBT or DBT thing? It's not easy to do on your own, but it would give you a structure for learning new ways to understand and cope with your emotional/trauma-based responses to things, and you might start to get some real, sustainable relief.

There is no cure for the hormone thing except getting older; and I don't mean to diminish your trauma responses at all - you just need to remember that you also have basic hormone turbulence as well.

 

[Maggiemay]

I would say is lower dose isn't working then maybe ur already building up a tolerance? :( Beta blockers are helpful during the day but haven't helped me sleep as such, but stops me being in hypervigilence mode which means I'm more likely to sleep... X

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm guessing that Valium is the first medication you've tried?

Antidepressants don't cause addiction issues, mood stabilizers don't cause addiction issues, antipsychotics don't cause addition issues.... Pretty much, you're taking a drug that is in the only class of medication that causes addiction issues. There are a TON of other options out there for you.

 

[The Albatross]

The purpose of prescription medications are not for places that you hate or seeing places that you hate. Numbing out is a way of coping that eventually bites most everyone in the butt.

You can as suggested above discuss the matter with your doctor, however I would recommend working through the "hate" issues in therapy.

 

[joeylittle]

Do they help with sleep and/or nightmares. Currently having a headache.and stomachache.

Have you tried guided meditation before sleep? it helps with better sleep and nightmares sometimes. if you haven't tried it, then try it. Google "Jon Kabat-Zinn" and use one of his 20-minute ones.

What is your general diet? Do you have caffeine or sugar in your system earlier than 7-8 hours before bed? That's another big, simple thing you can control that will make a difference.

I know it's really annoying to read suggestions like this. But they are things that will help.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I live in a country with no real theraphy for people like me. Yearly there are 1500 cases of serious bullying getting to the Social Care Center. Yep, the country itself is pretty f*cked up and just shoves shit under the rug.

@Maggiemay

No, the first dose I took didn't work at all, so I moved onto higher, I am naturally tolerant to substances. Takes me a liter of rum or whiskey to get drunk to a level of being a bit slower. So it's not buildup tolerance, it's natural tolerance.

@joeylittle

No, my diet normally is barely any sweets or sugar and I drank coffee less times in life than I have fingers on me, and never before bed. So no caffeine or sugar really, what keeps me awake is the anxiety and fear of sleeping. Meditation simply doesn't work as sometimes I can't control the thought flow.

@The Albatross

I am not talking about it in that way, I'm talking about the whole city I live in being a bad, stress inducing place for me.

@Solara

Yep, kinda the first thing. So, should I ask about beta-blockers and something else then?


Btw, what's with alpha-blockers, are they helpful?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I read up on alpha-blockers, from what it says they seem to help with nightmares and sleep, as well as aggression and stuff. Would an alpha blocker + beta blocker combo work. I will mail the theraphist about it.