To Post Or Not To Post?

[I am .....]

So I feel like I'm playing a tug of war with my own brain. As I have mentioned in previous post I was sexually assaulted last year, the police were involved but much to my disgust the 'person' who attacked me has not yet been caught :( as a result of my forensic testing there is DNA if he is ever caught.

I'm not sure what it's been like for other people who have been in a similar situations but once one person was told another was and then another. Others have taken it upon themselves to tell others MY STORY so while my family and most of my close friends "know" I've only actually told my doctor and my T. So with this in mind I was thinking that seeing more people than I wanted to know, know - what do u think about me reposting the comfit, with a personal note from me, on Facebook in the hopes it will spread further and be seen by more than the local news and someone might know who he is?

Thoughts please! (Pros & cons)

 

[Chava]

I'm really sorry for what you went through and that he's still out there. I can understand wanting to go to any length to get him put away, but I'd be concerned with you instigating a search vs leaving it all to the police (can't explain why, sorry, but it's the kind of thing that just makes me uncomfortable on some ambiguous safety and legal level). We had a local news station that frequently ran images and info of wanted criminals...sketches or photos, details of appearance, and police number to call with any info (probably couldn't say why if they weren't formally charged yet)..? Maybe local news can get something spreading via social media? Is checking with law enforcement and local media maybe a way to do what you are describing without you being the source of the search? And while some of us might have ideas pro/con I tend to think it's also the kind of question you'd want to run by law enforcement or legal counsel before posting anything...just so you know you and the case are safe.

I really hope they catch the bastard!!

 

[Meadowsweet]

I would ask the advice of the police dealing with the case, or victim support for advice.

 

[NovemberStar]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. It's good there is DNA - sexual predators don't just offend conce - it will only be a matter of time.... And the sicko will get caught.

I would urge you to not post on FB. Or at least give it very very long and serious consideration. Once something is posted online and spread, you lose control of where it ends up, or who reads it.

Your story could end up anywhere an be used for ANYTHING. May even land in the hands if undesirables or even the person who hurt you (or has hurt others).

I think an email to some of the more important contacts on yr FB however, might be better - but again, do not rush into doing so - how many times have we all posted something / shared something we thought was a great idea at the time, but later really regretted being so open about.

 

[I am .....]

I'm never generally open I'm a closed book. But there has been 3 other serious sexual assaults in my area since mine but they've all been caught. I know that's a good thing that they've been caught but it makes me feel like I've done something wrong or haven't done enough to help catch the sick bastard!

 

[Meadowsweet]

It's not up to you to catch him. that's the job of the police, should have, could have and ought to are words that hurt you, and you've already been hurt, you don't need that.

 

[NovemberStar]

I understand you feel you 'need to do something' - I also agree it's absolutely NOT YOUR FAULT and not yr job to stop attack happening to others. Gosh it must be incredibly hard to know what you went thigh is happening to other people, maybe from the same sick a'hole.

I think there would be a difference between posting info as to who the police are looking for on your FB page, with a GENERAL message; and dislocating you were the victim of such an attack. Especially given you are a private person.

I have friends (and I've done it myself) post police wanted messages on their FB about crimes in their area. If that's what you were meaning, then that would probably not necessarily leave you feeling over-exposed. But I still would really caution you not to take it the step further just yet anyway, about revealing on a very public online social media what y went through.

Gosh, not meaning to sound like you should be silent or ashamed about what happened to you - I guess it's just that I've had really really STRONG urges to post very personal info on my FB page, thinking it would be a great idea to 'tell the world' but I am so so SO glad I didn't. The initial feeling - almost euphoric - of wanting 'everyone to know' passed and it didn't take long for me to then feel 'than GOD I didn't do that!!!!!'

As I said - once it's out there you lose all control over what you've posted or shared. It can only take a few seconds to 'tell the world' but it can't be unsaid once it's done.

EDITED TO ADD: there also might be LEGAL REPERCUSSIONS - making the details of your assault public might be seen as 'contempt of court' if / when your attacker is caught and goes through the justice system.

Judges have to make decisions about what the jury knows and doesn't know - having details out there might at a later date end up with the charges dismissed for 'undue process' etc.