I have three brothers and we were all brought up in a very toxic home. My father was mentally and physically abusive. Now that he is dead, my brothers are all toxic or at least I think they are I am not an expert in psychology. My one brother has been diagnosed as bipolar. He is on meds and a lot better but he was insufferable when he was not. My other brother was very emasculated by our father and followed him in the family business. He was always in competition with me for being daddy's boy. He was in this competition alone.
I gave up wanting or needing daddy's pat on the head or an atta boy. He got really upset when dad was dying and needed help and he called me because I was the responsible one. I did it for two reasons, no. one is I have enough regrets in life that I did not want to add any and think when dad was dying I ignored him. The second my dad had built up a financial portfolio and two of my brothers really could use it to help them out and my dad was always trying to use it to get women to stick around. The issue was he was so controlling that they could not take it and would walk.
Now that its all over and settled I have one brother who will ignore me if we disagree on anything, he is the younger one and has made mistake after mistake in life. I felt like I needed to fill a promise to my mother before she died to watch out for him. He married a woman who is literally about 475 pounds and she and I am not exaggerating sits on the couch and goes to bed and the bath and that is it. My brother works at a factory and comes home makes dinner, does the laundry, makes the bed and all the house work and I have watched this he takes her dinner plate to her on the couch and takes it to the dishwasher when she is done.
He was such a happy go lucky kid now he is 40 and he has two daughters and they do nothing much in the home and he buys them phones and most of what he can afford to give them and they do nothing to help. His escape is to go to the basement and play video games which he is so into that its the only thing you can talk about that he has any passion for.
His politics are not IMO well thought out and if I point out that his points are not correct because of XY and Z he gets all ticked off and then I am banned from talking to him. I have always sent the nieces money for Xmas and birthdays and never gotten so much as a thank you card.
He has just now started to talk to me after a year when he sent a political picture in a text to me when we were all talking on the thread about a new dog my other brother has just bought. I made a smartass comment back to him because I was annoyed that he was hijacking the conversation to something political. Now he is not talking to me again because I made a comment on our joint text about something political. I did not direct it at anyone just made a comment about the political issue and he is no not talking to me.
The brother who is next youngest to me and was the or wanted to be the daddy's boy I am on the outs with because I blew up at his wife. His wife is a nut job from the get go. I never said my opinion but 7 years after the birth of his son she tells him she wants to leave him and that his son is not his but one from an affair she had. She has cheated on him many times. She is also very vengeful and has been diagnosed as bipolar. I had argued with my brother to leave her, kick that trash can to the curb. But he traded one abuser my father for another and seems to like being abused. When she left him he ran to the state she was in with her family got on his knees literally and told her dad was about to die and was going to get an inheritance and would buy her a new car and put in a pool ect. She came back and they have been together since.
His wife hates me because I called her out for what it was, she was a manipulative disgusting whore. I could not believe my brother ran back to this and adopted the kid. I don't blame the kid at all but I could not go back to such an abusive relationship. Every one of his friends was telling him the same thing I was, get out and find someone who treats you better than this. So since then I am on the outs and he is still trying to be No. one boy in competition with my and my brothers and I am not in the game and have no desire to be.
My third brother is the bipolar brother who is very highly educated and is a CRNA and makes good money and like to talk about it and how important he is all the time. He has been fired two times for going atomic with Doctors. The last time he called me and I had to remove all the guns from his home and hide them because he checked himself into an institution and was suicidal. This brother love to get between and be the one who keeps the rest of us separate. He has done this since he was a kid. He would not invite my little brother to games and outings because their friends he wanted to control. Now he does this where he will call me and say brother one said this about you, and vise versa. He was married and it was very strange relationship. His wife wanted to be a CRNA. She could not do the schooling as its not really easy at all. So he took her dream and became a CRNA. This really did something to her. She started to drink heavily and before she married him she was anti alcohol except for a glass of wine here and there, no beer or spirits. She got drunk one night and drowned in the bath tub.
My brother was very upset when he was in counseling and the therapist asked if he thought she committed suicide. This had come to my mind also but I never said anything because I knew it would erupt badly if I did. Since then he has dated women who are much younger and try to get at his money which is no surprise if you saw the women. One took his credit card and blew 2500 bucks on stuff, the other he took on a cruise and she charged things like 700 dollar Coach purses to the room. they are all very nice looking and half his age. I did tell him he is dating women that are not looking for a relationship but a meal ticket.
Its very difficult to be around any of them. One I can not because his wife would blow a gasket and the others I have nothing in common with at all. I would have to talk about and play video games all day to have something in common with one, and the CRNA brother I never have a good time with. Since he is bipolar I call it walking on egg shells because he can get mad and go off the handle at any time over anything. I hate to cut them off but there seems to be no upside to these relationships. I would like to hear what others think. Thanks.
We were raised in a large extended family that most were Jehovahs Witnesses. This is a cult and a dangerous one at that. Since I decided this cult was controlling and destructing I left. I got my brothers out by showing them all the wrong predictions over all the years and the crazy controlling teachings including hiding pedophiles due to their two witness rule. So most of my family treat me as a disease and the cult tells it members that if one leaves the religion they become mentally diseased and are to be shunned. So my brothers were all I had. But it seems that these are toxic relationships to me.
I gave up wanting or needing daddy's pat on the head or an atta boy. He got really upset when dad was dying and needed help and he called me because I was the responsible one. I did it for two reasons, no. one is I have enough regrets in life that I did not want to add any and think when dad was dying I ignored him. The second my dad had built up a financial portfolio and two of my brothers really could use it to help them out and my dad was always trying to use it to get women to stick around. The issue was he was so controlling that they could not take it and would walk.
Now that its all over and settled I have one brother who will ignore me if we disagree on anything, he is the younger one and has made mistake after mistake in life. I felt like I needed to fill a promise to my mother before she died to watch out for him. He married a woman who is literally about 475 pounds and she and I am not exaggerating sits on the couch and goes to bed and the bath and that is it. My brother works at a factory and comes home makes dinner, does the laundry, makes the bed and all the house work and I have watched this he takes her dinner plate to her on the couch and takes it to the dishwasher when she is done.
He was such a happy go lucky kid now he is 40 and he has two daughters and they do nothing much in the home and he buys them phones and most of what he can afford to give them and they do nothing to help. His escape is to go to the basement and play video games which he is so into that its the only thing you can talk about that he has any passion for.
His politics are not IMO well thought out and if I point out that his points are not correct because of XY and Z he gets all ticked off and then I am banned from talking to him. I have always sent the nieces money for Xmas and birthdays and never gotten so much as a thank you card.
He has just now started to talk to me after a year when he sent a political picture in a text to me when we were all talking on the thread about a new dog my other brother has just bought. I made a smartass comment back to him because I was annoyed that he was hijacking the conversation to something political. Now he is not talking to me again because I made a comment on our joint text about something political. I did not direct it at anyone just made a comment about the political issue and he is no not talking to me.
The brother who is next youngest to me and was the or wanted to be the daddy's boy I am on the outs with because I blew up at his wife. His wife is a nut job from the get go. I never said my opinion but 7 years after the birth of his son she tells him she wants to leave him and that his son is not his but one from an affair she had. She has cheated on him many times. She is also very vengeful and has been diagnosed as bipolar. I had argued with my brother to leave her, kick that trash can to the curb. But he traded one abuser my father for another and seems to like being abused. When she left him he ran to the state she was in with her family got on his knees literally and told her dad was about to die and was going to get an inheritance and would buy her a new car and put in a pool ect. She came back and they have been together since.
His wife hates me because I called her out for what it was, she was a manipulative disgusting whore. I could not believe my brother ran back to this and adopted the kid. I don't blame the kid at all but I could not go back to such an abusive relationship. Every one of his friends was telling him the same thing I was, get out and find someone who treats you better than this. So since then I am on the outs and he is still trying to be No. one boy in competition with my and my brothers and I am not in the game and have no desire to be.
My third brother is the bipolar brother who is very highly educated and is a CRNA and makes good money and like to talk about it and how important he is all the time. He has been fired two times for going atomic with Doctors. The last time he called me and I had to remove all the guns from his home and hide them because he checked himself into an institution and was suicidal. This brother love to get between and be the one who keeps the rest of us separate. He has done this since he was a kid. He would not invite my little brother to games and outings because their friends he wanted to control. Now he does this where he will call me and say brother one said this about you, and vise versa. He was married and it was very strange relationship. His wife wanted to be a CRNA. She could not do the schooling as its not really easy at all. So he took her dream and became a CRNA. This really did something to her. She started to drink heavily and before she married him she was anti alcohol except for a glass of wine here and there, no beer or spirits. She got drunk one night and drowned in the bath tub.
My brother was very upset when he was in counseling and the therapist asked if he thought she committed suicide. This had come to my mind also but I never said anything because I knew it would erupt badly if I did. Since then he has dated women who are much younger and try to get at his money which is no surprise if you saw the women. One took his credit card and blew 2500 bucks on stuff, the other he took on a cruise and she charged things like 700 dollar Coach purses to the room. they are all very nice looking and half his age. I did tell him he is dating women that are not looking for a relationship but a meal ticket.
Its very difficult to be around any of them. One I can not because his wife would blow a gasket and the others I have nothing in common with at all. I would have to talk about and play video games all day to have something in common with one, and the CRNA brother I never have a good time with. Since he is bipolar I call it walking on egg shells because he can get mad and go off the handle at any time over anything. I hate to cut them off but there seems to be no upside to these relationships. I would like to hear what others think. Thanks.
We were raised in a large extended family that most were Jehovahs Witnesses. This is a cult and a dangerous one at that. Since I decided this cult was controlling and destructing I left. I got my brothers out by showing them all the wrong predictions over all the years and the crazy controlling teachings including hiding pedophiles due to their two witness rule. So most of my family treat me as a disease and the cult tells it members that if one leaves the religion they become mentally diseased and are to be shunned. So my brothers were all I had. But it seems that these are toxic relationships to me.