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Deleted member 48341
So I entered therapy when I was 19 years old right around the time I was admitted to the hospital for Anorexia.
So I stared seeing this therapist every week. One day we went downstairs and rated people on how fat/skinny they were on a scale of 1-10. I really didn’t like this because it made me feel like she judged me on my appearance like she was making me do to other people. It just really didn’t help my body image at all.
So after restricting my food I started binging after I got out of the hospital. I found a medicine that helped binging asked my doctor to switch my stimulant. So my doctor switched my stimulant and I became psychotic on it.
After an encounter with my boyfriend at the time, I got a flashback of someone abusing me. I figured it was my moms old boyfriend bc that’s the only man I could remember in my life. So we talked about it in therapy. My therapist started exposure therapy with me. I started talking about what I remembered and she was getting off on it. Like I could see her squirming around in her seat. I felt so uncomfortable. Then she wanted to look up images of people kissing, holding hands on google images because I was struggling with that. She said “I hope porn doesn’t pop up” I thought that was a little strange.
Then one day I told her that when I was little I did something embarrassing. I didn’t want to tell her so she asked if she could guess what it was. She was like “did you masturbate”. That made me so uncomfortable I cringe still thinking about that. She was way off.
I had a session with my mom and the therapist . My mom explained to the therapist that her bf was never alone with me. I really was sure it was her boyfriend so I felt really invalidated. My therapist sent me to the ER after our session because she said I severely dissociated.
When I went back to see my therapist she said... “did your mom have sex with you?” “It’s okay, I hear it all the time” I just froze. I didn’t know what to do or say. I never ever thought my mom abused me but after she asked me that I started getting false memories in my head.
I was so confused, I thought my therapist abused me like my mom. Even tho my mom never sexually abused me. At the time I thought she did because my therapist asked me if she did and I was in a vulnerable state due the the stimulant my doctor had me on. After I told my therapist that I thought she (the therapist) abused me like my mom did, the therapist asked me if I was attracted to her. She asked me if i was fantasizing about her. I definitely wasn’t fantasizing about my therapist. I saw things in my head that didn’t actually happen. Then she emailed me and said she was terminating my therapy because of transference.
I was devastated. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I became suicidal and my mom was worried and couldn’t get a hold of me because I thought she was out to get me so I ran away from her.
As you can see this was very traumatizing for me. I lived in an a orphange for the first year of my life. I didn’t have a mom. Then when I started treatment for my eating disorder, therapy went terribly wrong and I felt like a orphan all over again.
Lucky now after being admitted to the hospital twice for a low heart rate I am living at home, safe & sound and I am currently in treatment for my eating disorder and trauma from the orphanage.
Has anyone else had a bad therapy experience? You are NOT alone!
So I stared seeing this therapist every week. One day we went downstairs and rated people on how fat/skinny they were on a scale of 1-10. I really didn’t like this because it made me feel like she judged me on my appearance like she was making me do to other people. It just really didn’t help my body image at all.
So after restricting my food I started binging after I got out of the hospital. I found a medicine that helped binging asked my doctor to switch my stimulant. So my doctor switched my stimulant and I became psychotic on it.
After an encounter with my boyfriend at the time, I got a flashback of someone abusing me. I figured it was my moms old boyfriend bc that’s the only man I could remember in my life. So we talked about it in therapy. My therapist started exposure therapy with me. I started talking about what I remembered and she was getting off on it. Like I could see her squirming around in her seat. I felt so uncomfortable. Then she wanted to look up images of people kissing, holding hands on google images because I was struggling with that. She said “I hope porn doesn’t pop up” I thought that was a little strange.
Then one day I told her that when I was little I did something embarrassing. I didn’t want to tell her so she asked if she could guess what it was. She was like “did you masturbate”. That made me so uncomfortable I cringe still thinking about that. She was way off.
I had a session with my mom and the therapist . My mom explained to the therapist that her bf was never alone with me. I really was sure it was her boyfriend so I felt really invalidated. My therapist sent me to the ER after our session because she said I severely dissociated.
When I went back to see my therapist she said... “did your mom have sex with you?” “It’s okay, I hear it all the time” I just froze. I didn’t know what to do or say. I never ever thought my mom abused me but after she asked me that I started getting false memories in my head.
I was so confused, I thought my therapist abused me like my mom. Even tho my mom never sexually abused me. At the time I thought she did because my therapist asked me if she did and I was in a vulnerable state due the the stimulant my doctor had me on. After I told my therapist that I thought she (the therapist) abused me like my mom did, the therapist asked me if I was attracted to her. She asked me if i was fantasizing about her. I definitely wasn’t fantasizing about my therapist. I saw things in my head that didn’t actually happen. Then she emailed me and said she was terminating my therapy because of transference.
I was devastated. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I became suicidal and my mom was worried and couldn’t get a hold of me because I thought she was out to get me so I ran away from her.
As you can see this was very traumatizing for me. I lived in an a orphange for the first year of my life. I didn’t have a mom. Then when I started treatment for my eating disorder, therapy went terribly wrong and I felt like a orphan all over again.
Lucky now after being admitted to the hospital twice for a low heart rate I am living at home, safe & sound and I am currently in treatment for my eating disorder and trauma from the orphanage.
Has anyone else had a bad therapy experience? You are NOT alone!
