Triggered At Work Again

[RussH]

This week marks the anniversary of my world turning upside down. I was badly triggered last year in october, then lost my job as a result of being tiggered.
Today, I was at work running a cash register. We have a customer reward program that is based on a customer number that our customers can sign up for. So, when they are ready to check out, we ask for their customer number.
I had a customer that came into my line, and I asked for his number. He immediately exploded verbally all over me, ranting and raving about asking for his number. He started telling me that i should know his name, and be able to call him by name.
I asked him if he knew why we asked for a number. He said i don't know and don't care, then preceeded to rant some more.
So then I asked him his name. He ignored the question and continued to rant. The customers behind him was standing there watching slack jawed as he ranted.
I finally finished his order and got him out of the store. I was shaken, and mildly triggered. the customers behind him made comments about what a jerk he was.
Then five minutes later my boss, the owner of the store, comes into my line and tells me this customer had called a lodged a complaint against me stating that I argued with him.
the long and short of it, I was standing at my register with customers there, tears flowing down my face and trembling all over.
I used to be able to handle things like this, and now it leaves me a wreck.


Why do people think it is ok to treat others like this?

 

[luvablenut]

It can be so hard to understand why people do what they do, I worked for a grocery store for a while and learned that sometimes we just have to let people slide. It can be scary, being yelled at. I am a child hood rape victim and have the worst time when a man is angry at me, I get so scared that I actually pass out and have a seizure ( that would be why I "worked" at the grocery store... seizures don't go over well...) I know it can be scary but I have to tell myself to breath deep and put myself in a different position, one where I can understand why that person is taking out their frustrations on me, and even if i can't understand I try to believe there is a reason... IDK if this helps at all, but you really aren't alone in this, its scary and not ok for people to treat others so terribly.

 

[Little Flower]

They are insecure and are taking it out on strangers. What a miserable way to be. I've worked in retail n customer service. I just try to connect with them with a complement or something. Throws them off base. I'm sorry you had to go thru that. You can smile n make them ebbarrassed of their actions
Or u can tell yourself it's not personal, it's business. No one has a right to verbally abuse u.

 

[RussH]

the hard thing is; he made it personal, and not just a rant against the store. He also managed to do it in a manner that was degrading and demeaning which are triggers for me anyway. And then to call and complain to the boss when I gave him nothing to complain about is just beyond understanding.
And then to have this happen this week, the anniversary of all the crap that happened to me.

 

[Little Flower]

I am also afraid for that reason n I married someone who yelled at me for 25 years. I think it's rude and uncalled for and your boss should thank you for putting up it

 

[Little Flower]

It's an anniversary. It's not happening now. U have support and understanding here. Let them go for a few minutes. Put them a box n close the lid then imagine settling your nerves. Maybe write down everything u want to get off ur chest. Don't let them out until u feel stronger

 

[radicalgratitude]

Some comedic relief:

:hug:

 

[scout86]

Do you suppose there's a chance he has mental health issues of his own?

 

[brokenWing1974]

Maybe ur question triggered him? Sorry that you were made to feel that way. I have found comfort here on this forum...I'm sure you will too!

 

[Recovery4Me]

:hug: Russ, I am sorry for your pain. Hope you can shake off the mean guy soon and be glad he is not related.;)

 

[RussH]

Do you suppose there's a chance he has mental health issues of his own?

I have considered this possibility, but it still does not excuse his behavior.

Maybe ur question triggered him?

the questions was " do you have a customer number?" if his information is correct then he has heard this question 312 times, and has never blown up at any other cashier before this.

 

[RussH]

I do have one positve to share regarding this situation. One year ago when I was badly triggered, I didn't know I had ptsd, and just did not understand why I reacted the way I did to these kind of situations, so I would berate myself for being the weak pathetic wimp which, of course added to the stress.
This time, however, I understood what was happening, and it really did help we deal with it on a whole different level. And that is a very good thing.