Triggered In Group Therapy Tonight.

[FindingMyself88]

I attend a group DBT every Tuesday. I started a little over a month ago and right now for the next few weeks we are on interpersonal relationships. Tonight during the second part of the session the therapist had the three of us that was there today sit in a circle facing each other. We had to take turns speaking for 3 minutes about how we feel when confronting others. Then we talked about how we feel afterwards. I said I always wander if I deserve what I'm asking, and how the person will feel about me afterwards.

The therapist asked me if I had ever had my needs met as a child. Honestly no... I mean yeah food and shelter but that's it. She said I needed to be angry about that, that I had never been allowed to speak my needs or say no to the abuse. This triggered me into a flashback.

Even when my cousin raped me, I didn't say no. I begged him not to but once he told me he needed this to feel good….I just stopped fighting.. then I flash backed to when I was 3 years old begging my mom not to commit suicide because her last husband or boyfriend broke it off…then it flew to the time where I was begging and pleading my mom not to make me go to my dad's (the last weekend he had pulled a gun on my step mom). She told me she would go to jail and asked if I wanted that..

The therapist asked me what was going on in my head. I felt too much shame to mention my cousin. So I just said "That's all I know.." then I told her about my two memories with my mom. By this time I was crying uncontrollably and shaking and basically having a panic attack. The therapist began telling me that my mom is not my responsibility and that I have needs that need to be met by other people, that everyone already knows I can do everything. She asked me to say in an angry voice that I am not responsible for my mom, she even tried getting me to stand up and stomp my foot. Of course I was not very convincing considering the emotional mess I was.


I just don't know what to think right now. After this she turned to the guy in the group and asked him what he was feeling and he said angry because I shouldn't have been treated this way as a child. That threw me for a loop. I feel very numb but at the same time like I'm on the edge of a cliff, I just don't know what to do, think, react, or say...

 

[ButterflyBean]

Do you have an individual therapist you can talk to about this? The incident sounds very distressing, and in my opinion, the group therapist didn't handle your emotions and/or flashback appropriately. I would obviously discuss my suggestion to take a break from group with your therapist, but that's my initial thought, especially given what happened tonight. One question I might ask is how beneficial is group therapy for you? Lots to think about and process, yes, but for now, just breathe and let your brain/body rest!

I'm really sorry you experienced such a difficult group session! Wishing you peace, comfort, and restful sleep/dreams; just remember, you are safe!

~Holly

 

[gone]

So sorry to hear about this session and the pain you're going through now. I agree with @HollyBeans27 that this T did not appear to handle this well. I really hope you can get yourself grounded and come back to the present where the past is not happening. To do this, it helps me to name all the things in the room I'm in out loud (got this idea from someone on the forum who mentioned it), and to push down through my heels into the floor, to send my energy into the ground. Hope you feel less numb and less on the cliff top soon!

 

[FindingMyself88]

I am somewhat better this morning, still shaken and in no way ready to take two final exams today :/.

How should the T have handled it? I really don't know if she knew the severity of what I was experiencing aside from the crying and shaking. I've been so conditioned over the years to hide my emotions that sometimes even I don't know how much I'm suffering.

I feel like there is truth in what she said because otherwise it wouldn't have triggered such a strong response. But not sure how she should have maybe reacted? I'm not use to people having to react to my emotions...

 

[scout86]

I have no idea how she "should have" handled things. I do think you're on to something when you say that there's truth in what she said, or it wouldn't have provoked such a strong reaction.

The trouble with emotions is, if you acknowledge them, you pretty much have to FEEL them. This is kind of one of my "issues", so I'm not exactly an expert on the "right" way to handle things. What I DO know is the reason I've learned to ignore my feelings is that doing it protected me from having to deal with them. Rumor has it "dealing with them" is the better way to go. That's all I know about that! ("So far" as my T would say. LOL)

But wasn't it at least a little bit cool that somebody got mad in your behalf? Think about it! That guy was mad because of the way you were treated and was willing to speak up about it. That's what should have been happening all along. Just goes to show you there ARE people out there who know how these things are supposed to be done.

Glad you're feeling better. I hope you ace the exams, in spite of everything else you're dealing with!

 

[Tinyflame]

But wasn't it at least a little bit cool that somebody got mad in your behalf? Think about it! That guy was mad because of the way you were treated and was willing to speak up about it. That's what should have been happening all along. Just goes to show you there ARE people out there who know how these things are supposed to be done.

Glad you're feeling better. I hope you ace the exams, in spite of everything else you're dealing with!

I think that's huge.

Yes, I hope so too. :hug:

 

[FindingMyself88]

Thanks Scout and Junebug. I really don't think so, I feel bad that he got upset over me.

As far as exams go, I think I did okay on one but the other I know I blew it :(. I just could not focus today, I've had multiple anxiety attacks and honestly have just wanted to stay curled up in bed. I don't even want to go to work but I have too. Thankfully I see my T tomorrow, hopefully that will help..