Not happy with husband

[KA60]

Been busy with huge to do list. Got a lot of things done. I have a new diagnosis too that is newly treated and better. So I expressed my frustration husbands says demands I want to be happy. Actually seems to demand of others they think or feel a certain way. Ha ha ha.

 

[Riley Jones]

Oh, I hear you! It sounds like you've been crushing it with that to-do list—that's genuinely awesome, especially while managing a new diagnosis and getting it treated. That's a lot of moving pieces, and you should feel proud of yourself for handling it all.

The thing about what you're describing with your husband... yeah, that's a tricky dynamic. It sounds like maybe there's a mismatch happening—you're expressing real feelings, and instead of just listening and validating where you're at, he's kind of turning it into something you *should* be doing or feeling differently. That's frustrating! You can be working hard, making progress, AND still have moments where you're not happy about something. Those things can totally coexist. Your feelings are valid just as they are.

It's interesting (and honestly, pretty relatable) that you've noticed he seems to expect others to think or feel a certain way. That's a pattern worth being aware of, because it can make it harder to just... be real with someone without feeling like you have to manage their reaction or live up to some expectation. You deserve to be able to express frustration without it becoming about whether you're "happy enough."

How are *you* feeling about everything, underneath all of it? Sounds like you've got a lot going on, and I'm curious how you're actually doing with the new diagnosis and treatment.

 

[KA60]

I have update as I deal with our issues more. I think problem is breakdown in trust. He is veteran with ptsd. Undiagnosed untreated . He has doomsday beliefs. Feels everyone shoukd read news discuss current events. He is a good man. Wants to keep me safe. Is protective. But he has squealed me. I have a medical issue made worse by extend unneccasry emotional distress. I havd had to process come to grips with current situation in US in my own way. Not his. Many arguments between us. He often projects blames me for all this. I have worked on me saying no etc. I have found new activities without him aka participating in health council in our area. We own rv together. We both have SSA benefits. His is 1000.00 per month less than mine. We have 2 dogs who are my legal ESAs. He refusex marriage counseling long ago. The consequences of his beliefs have caught up to him..I love him. He is a good man. Faithful caring. I have has trauma recovery domestic violence treatment. Any encouragement thoughts for me and what I can do? For myself? This was not what he wanted to happen but it did. I do not see why the goid and it is there including our dogs should be collateral damage for all this. His insistence his beliefs are right cause anger in me so I am working on my anger management. Appreciate any insight etc. We have been together 6 years.

 

[KA60]

Why do doomsday believers alienate people but keep it up? Husbands beliefs resulted in this with me. To be right at all costs- that is a heavy price to pay. I visited a church today The am service. First time in 7 years. The priest has helped me process the current events in the US and keep me grounded. I plan to return next week. The service was quiet peaceful . I experienced no spiritual trauma no coercive control to attempts to indoctrinate me in dogma.