tryingtolive101
New Here
I always struggle with introductions. I'm a BIPOC person in their late 20s. I'm married to a lovely person. I'm neurodivergent, and very awkward.
I'm here because I'm tired. I don't have many close relationships, and I don't want to overburden the ones I do have.
Like many of you, I am not a stranger to abuse. I have spent much of my life fawning and dissociating. On paper, I'm pretty successful. I finished grad school, have several licenses, married an awesome person, etc., etc. But in the end I feel like a forgotten little kid in a world that would rather have me gone. I've been in and out of therapy for years and have recently started again. Even now, I remember being told that I'm throwing pity parties and too sensitive by my abuser(s). It's stupid, but it's actually very scary sharing these thoughts with the void. I have been toying with the idea of checking myself into the hospital.
I don't know why I struggle with friendships. I don't know why I'm so repulsive. I don't know why the antidepressants never work. I don't know why nothing works. So I'm here.
I'm here because I'm tired. I don't have many close relationships, and I don't want to overburden the ones I do have.
Like many of you, I am not a stranger to abuse. I have spent much of my life fawning and dissociating. On paper, I'm pretty successful. I finished grad school, have several licenses, married an awesome person, etc., etc. But in the end I feel like a forgotten little kid in a world that would rather have me gone. I've been in and out of therapy for years and have recently started again. Even now, I remember being told that I'm throwing pity parties and too sensitive by my abuser(s). It's stupid, but it's actually very scary sharing these thoughts with the void. I have been toying with the idea of checking myself into the hospital.
I don't know why I struggle with friendships. I don't know why I'm so repulsive. I don't know why the antidepressants never work. I don't know why nothing works. So I'm here.
you're not alone. I hope you find what you need. 
