Childhood Trying To Understand My Orientation

[Deleted member 29920]

I don't believe our creator would ever judge on sexual orientation. There are animals who.. Well.. you know. So why would our creator judge those animals? It wouldn't! You have to follow your heart and soul, that's the real key here :tup:

 

[Gs172003]

If you're truly that confused, and honestly I don't see why it would take til senior year of high school for you to figure out you liked men ( bear with me, I could be wrong) unless you truly AREN'T. You said you married a wonderful girl. There is quite a gap. How do you feel about the woman you married? What did you do between the one guy you dated and her? How did you feel about it?

I think those are the questions that need to be answered. I have a feeling based on your age that the abuse has a lot to do with all this but I am not an expert. That's why I told you to seek a therapist that can help you sort all this out in your head and figure out what's going on.

I wish you the best and hope you get it figured out.

 

[Ronin]

honestly I don't see why it would take til senior year of high school

Quite illogical, though.
These things take time.

Being socialized into the heteronormative world makes everything else complicated.

How long some realizations take or not speaks absolutely nothing about the way a person is, or that it may be a fluid thing, a static thing, and definitely a confusing thing. It's not so black and white, clear cut journey.

 

[Ronin]

Would Jesus cast you out? No, he would love you just the same.

This.

The often quoted against homosexuality passages are from Paul, and Paul was quite a bigot, when even considered the time of his hatred prior to becoming a Christian.

The other parts often quoted against homosexuality are if I'm not mistaken from Leviticus, and frankly that's not what the passage speaks about: the passage was concerned with rape of minors, so not two consenting adults, of whichever gender.

Going by memory here, would have to check with mah bibles for the exact verses, but basically the way they're used for hatred? Is taking words out of context, both historical and etymological.

 

[Anarchy]

Echoing Ronin here,

I don't think that there is any timeline for discovering things about yourself. The discoveries can come at any time in our lives.

You might like this from the 1980s it can be a bit of a tear jerker if it resonates with you
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Xuz94ZIPfJk

I m not suggesting that you try coming out in your home town, but people can be more accepting than is generally expected, I'll give the example of a gun blogger coming out as transgender female
There were some surprises thAt she sports a beard... but pretty much everyone was supportive and positive ( ok, gun bloggers might self describe as conservative but most are probably more libertarian, with a few openly anarchist).

 

[Teddy Bear]

Welcome, Teddy Bear! I noticed that you said you are, in fact, attracted to guys. Are you attracted...

I am attracted to girls as well. More so than guys but there is no denying the attraction to guys.

 

[Gs172003]

I am attracted to girls as well. More so than guys but there is no denying the attraction to guys.[/...

Then what I suggest at this point is that you focus on your marriage to your wife and deal with your confusion and abuse in counseling. When and if you feel comfortable letting people know the rest after that you'll have tools you need to prepare for any unexpected reactions ( hopefully there won't be any,) and in the meantime you can get your thoughts straight

 

[aut555]

So maybe you are bisexual. The only issue is have you told your wife? Think if the urge is strong then there is a problem. But if you do control yourself, no big deal. Do you regret not being in a gay relationship? Was marriage really right for you given the uncertainty of your orientation? Sending hope that you see clearly at this point of your wants and desires. Sorry, you did tell your wife l see.

 

[Ronin]

You're alright as you are, @Teddy Bear.

In faith logic, it was God that created you as a bisexual. God knew damned well what He's up to, definitely weller than people objecting His choice.

While you certainly may benefit from talking things through with your wife, it's not because you'd be sinful, or breaking the sanctity of your marriage just by existing as you are.

 

[aut555]

You're alright as you are, @Teddy Bear.

In faith logic, it was God that created you as...

Nice to bring it home the way you did.

 

[Teddy Bear]

You're alright as you are, @Teddy Bear.

In faith logic, it was God that created you as...

I made sure to tell my wife once I was comfortable enough to talk about it well before the road to engagement/marriage started. I wanted her to know everything that she was getting into.

 

[Rumors]

I am attracted to girls as well. More so than guys but there is no denying the attraction to guys.[/...

Perhaps the reality is that your are more familiar with guys do to the early abuse but not necessarily attracted to them. We tend to gravitate towards things that we know regardless of how healthy they may or may not be for us.
God loves you no matter who you sleep with. That is just a small factor in a much larger equation. All true Christians know this...those who judge you based on sexuality aren't living the word. We are all worthy of love and respect. Hang in there.