Unknown Symptoms

[birdeye67]

I have complex ptsd/trauma. Does anybody experience things like having other worlds or characters in your mind and not being able to tell if they're real? Like mine are usually dark entities, and my reality and them blur together a lot and my feelings react as though they are. Most of the time I feel like I am in this big, huge, pile of meshed up, unorganized thing.

I told my therapist and she didn't really give me information (I'm thinking about getting a trauma specialist).

I've been coming out of this "sleep" mode I call it where I've been unaware and repressing the majority of my history; my history has only been triggered because of recent traumatic events (breakup with first boyfriend, living with unhealthy aunt) which have forced me to confront my issues and pain. I'm guessing this is just a side effect from transitioning from that heavy repression into reality, but I want to hear others thoughts and experiences.

 

[Spiderallis]

Before I was diagnosed I had a rather negative 'imaginary friend'. I've had a few imaginary friends, but the mostly negative one said they had other things to do and went away. The one who's still around is pretty neutral. A few therapists have been more comfortable considering those things as parts of my own mind that I deal with as if they're different beings.

Does it seem like those entities are there to help you? I'm pretty sure mine came around so I wouldn't feel alone. Sometimes it's hard to find people in our lives who really comprehend how we feel, I think that's why I have these friends that no one else can see or hear. Those entities aren't harmful, are they? I hope not. It could be some kind of coping skill, if the beings are helpful. I'm not sure what to call it if they come around to cause trouble.

I don't entirely understand dissociative identity disorder or multiple personalties, but unless those entities take over for you I don't think that's the right word for it. I'm not sure if I understand what your 'sleep' mode is like. Do you consider the sleep a good thing? If your therapist isn't helping you to understand, it's a great idea to try a different therapist. It doesn't have to be a specialist, but it could be. Every t is different and not all of them are listed by what they're best able to help with.

 

[birdeye67]

It feels good to have someone talk about similar mind things...

I suppose it's similar to having parts of my own mind that I treat like they're separate from me. I've found that my whole mind is broken up into separate entities, and it's just more comforting to talk to them as though they're separate. I used to mistake them for voices, but they're not really hallucinatory...

Some of my characters or entities scare me... I think they might be holding scary memories. Some are critical and hurtful and work to bring me down. They have brought me down in the past and have caused some strange behavior in me... but I haven't been totally dissociated into them, rather, I am dissociated while I am talking to them. The therapy that I use deals with these parts I suppose I have just recently only been conscious of them, and I think my therapist has mentioned that they are guarding traumatic memories. It's just difficult to deal with sometimes when they come up. My sleep mode has just been a general ongoing state of sleep consciousness I call it. Where I'm not really conscious of the environment but not totally disappeared. I just block out a lot a lot of the reality. My therapist says it's a coping mechanism. Thanks for your reply, Spiderallis. It was helpful.

 

[Spiderallis]

I'm glad you've got a therapist who understands what's going on. Sounds like you're dealing with things very well, it's hard work and you're doing a great job. I'm sorry it's so scary, but you're certainly not alone.