News Us politics - read first post before comment

[Sideways]

It definitely becomes overwhelming pretty quickly for me, especially when we start getting details of individual cases, such as the details coming out about the gymnastics team. It’s distressing stuff, and because I have ptsd from sexual abuse, it’s obviously going to hit a nerve pretty quickly for me. I try and be mindful of that while I’m negotiating what media to pay attention to, and what to skip over.

But for the vast majority of people, they don’t have ptsd on board, so the discussion is happening for most people without the extra difficulties that people like me are going to have. And while any public discussion, on any important issue, is going to bring out some pretty loathesome opinions and comments, I think that it’s huge progress that the discussion is taking place at all. Previously the status quo was complete silence, which gets us nowhere.

Having the discussion is how people are going to get better educated about things like “why did she wait so long to come forward”? There are some pretty ignorant opinions out there about issues like that, but having the public discussion, airing those opinions and responding to them, is one of the best ways to reduce some of that ignorance, and help people have a better understanding of what goes on for victims of sexual harassment and sexual abuse.

For the bulk of people, who don’t have ptsd, the conversation isn’t going to have the kind of impact on them that it has on us. Like all potentially tirggering media content, it’s a case of prioritising looking after yourself. But absolutely I’m glad that the conversation seems to be continuing beyond the initial wave of #metoo posts that hit the social media circuits. That does seem to have not been the ‘passing fad’ that a lot of people thought it would be, and I think that while the public debate is distressing, it’s also very important.

 

[Deleted member 541]

It’s weird, yrs ago on this site I could read diaries. Now I avoid them. I can read a headline of a sexual abuse story, but I don’t delve into the subject matter. I know about the gymnastics team and the girls that were abused, but I didn’t get into the real news of it. Just skimmed the headlines.

I’m very proud of them and yes they were/are very brave. Especially to do this in the public eye. The me-too movement is a good thing, I just hope that it doesn’t get abused and people are falsely accused out of spite or hatred.

 

[shimmerz]

Since years ago, when I was around their ages, I said nothing. It makes me feel a sense of shame and lack of courage.

Years ago this was not discussed. I recall reading articles about how women had to account for the way they were dressed, and what they did to entice the rapist. Sick and twisted stuff.

I mean, this is a large movement, the metoo. There are lots of people backing all of these claims. This isn't nearly as brave (my opinion) as it would have been years ago. At that time it would have been an opening for character assassination, for shame and humiliation thrown at you, disgust from parents family and friends.

Totally different times @TexCat.

 

[Anarchy]

about how women had to account for the way they were dressed, and what they did to entice the rapist. Sick and twisted stuff.

Its still happens sometimes (not always). A couple of years back, a British police force was caught doing it on a wide scale, to massage their crime stats down.

@TexCat it's difficult from both sides. I avoid lamestream news, so I've only just stumbled across news of Cranberries singer, Dolores O'Riordan dying a week ago. Part of me wants to start a thread - she was fairly high profile in her struggles, and it later came out that she'd suffered CSA for years.

Another part of me says no, I have friends who are half her age on here. I want them to have a happy future.
I don't want anyone to think that their future is totally determined, ending in death in their forties or before.

_______________

I had a very little involvement in gay rights in the 80s. Drawing an analogy, I can appreciate that news of CSA is triggering, but if the campaign manages to lift the perception of public stigma that victims fear, it will relieve people of the huge stressor of having to keep it hidden.

For some, even telling a T that they were abused is a hugely shameful experience that can take months or years to work up to.

 

[shimmerz]

Its still happens sometimes (not always).

Yes. Agreed.

 

[Fadeaway]

@shimmerz in my town, it IS all about how you are dressed as a female. Come out that you were abused and you will get blamed and get expelled for an honor code violation. I know it is isn't the norm across the country, but insomeplaces in the U.S> it is still as bad as it was in the past.

"Women, on the other hand, get the idea that they may be sexual beings but don’t have desire the way men do, Finlayson-Fife says. “Femininity is constructed as nonsexual.”
They are the “sober drivers” in these interactions, she says, “more responsible for any sexual interactions by the way they dress, behave and setting limits on when to stop.”
'You're a sinner': how a Mormon university shames rape victims

Blame the victim: Religious leaflet claims 'ungodly' dressed women provoke rape

 

[Anarchy]

Dislike intensely

If [such a] god actually existed, it would be necessary to destroy it - Bakhunin

 

[Gs172003]

@shimmerz in my town, it IS all about how you are dressed as a female. Come out th...

Ok I didn't read the first one but I did read the second. Whoever wrote that tract is so so so far off it's rediculous

 

[Fadeaway]

Ok I didn't read the first one but I did read the second. Whoever wrote that tract is so so so far off i...

It couldn't be more accurate here. I see it every day in this f*cked up mysonigist town. I have yet to meet a woman in this town who hasn't been sexually abused.

Not saying it is like this in other places in the u.s. but the rape culture here and victim blaming is apart of daily life here. I couldn't imagine being a teen or college age girl here.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

It couldn't be more accurate here. I see it every day in this f*cked up mysonigist town. I have yet to...

The other day I was teaching a middle school student. She had a cute sweater on that had cirlcles cut out on the shoulders. She asked me if I thought it was too revealing. She didn’t want to draw attention to boys or affect her boyfriend in the wrong way. She was too hot wearing her jacket over it and not sure what to do. This is how many girls are being raised in the Bible Belt. They are programmed to blame themselves for how boys look at them. Change is not in all people’s minds... I honestly think that conservatives as a whole are still in the old way of thinking unless they have been assaulted themselves.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I can NOT watch the news. Meaning I know this is history on the precipice of major change. It should be witnessed.

:nailbiting: :banghead: :poop: :wtf: :ninja: :chicken:

And

:singing: :singing: :singing:

 

[UnKnown-Self]

@hodge

I stopped in after seeing a different post I wanted to respond to. Then I saw your post.

I can not bear to see his face or hear his voice,

I understand.... feeling to my Core, "Danger Will Robinson!!" "Danger!!!" "DANGER!!!"

That's not a political judgment.

It's a genuine trigger and it deserves validation.

I never watched the show, I didn't even watch when he was on Oprah. While I was home with the kids, Oprah was the "Mom time". Even she could not make him interesting :mask:

I joke because I have to. I also have to watch the news.

he is largely a reminder of every man who's ever violated me.

That is the trigger for me too but it go deeper. He reminds me not only of my violators but of society's distaste, scorn and neglect.
I will never meet this person and for that I am grateful. I am also aware he has the power to affect my life.

So I keep my eye on 45.

I hope I'm not breaking rules. I am genuinely not "bashing". I saw @hodge post and I had to support her and say me too.

I don't know what tomorrow holds but that's simply how life works.

I can hope it will spark positive change. People are personally, directly affected on so many levels, it has increased interest in the process.
Women & other minorities are getting involved and some have strong voices. My own interest in politics was born.
I would never/ could never be a politician. I respect my trigger's strong boundaries ;) That doesn't mean I can't start educating myself on who's running and make educated choices. I also need to educate myself on what issues there are which ones are important to me.

The two party system is broken. The way our elections are held needs to change.

It baffles me how our politicians run for election is actually legal.

Money decides whose voice is heard. Enough money can decide not only what voice is heard but that voice's message & intentions.

My granddaughter is texting me.... gotta go!