Other Verbally Abusive Neighbor - Involve Police Or Not?

[EveHarrington]

Yarrrr, drugs are really a good thing. So glad it's becoming "legal".

<sarcasm>

 

[Deleted member 28740]

<sarcasm>

And old friend had a saying "just because you are crazy does not give you a right to be an asshole". Drugs, alcohol…. same thing.

 

[sedna]

Yep. I make no contact eyes or verbal. It is escalating anyway. Why I talked with the Police toda...

Changeling- the escalation is probably because he is seeing the no eye contact as a sign of submission.
He's testing it by escalating to see how far he can push you , to reassure himself he's in control.

It doesnt mean that he is out of control crazy, necessarily.

Let him have the dominance, document what you can with cameras, discreet phone video etc
.
Thats the safety measure for if he does something intolerable later.

If that happens, and maybe it wont, you should say that you feared nothing would happen and that he would retaliate.

You cant afford to move at the drop of a hat or hire a lawyer for things like this.

Make it clear to police and landlord ( if something ever comes of this situation)
that you know landlord tenant laws and that he wouldnt get evicted. His behavior had made clear that he isnt the type to fear the rules or the law, you just wanted to live in peace.

Nobody ever argues with that because they all know its true, even if they give you a little speach, they're on your side.

 

[Recovery4Me]

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Submit a tip... different dept, different agenda normally gets the job done with small fries in a bit so they can see if and where they lead with connects on a bigger scale. If he works for the state truly...he will loose his job hence have to move. Make sure to mention that:devilish:.
Less physical observation is actually safer if you are going through with the DEA tip on-line.

Unless you know a cop personally, if you are new to this area/district...then unofficial inquiries are not always a safe bet if he IS actually connected in gov. Consider contacting a real-estate attorney for a free consultation for a general understanding on what actually can be done. However, make sure to get one out of your city if you can afford the gas or use legal aid.

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I am so sorry for you and Bella. ((((hugs))))

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Thanks for all the input. Another sleepless night however.

@Recovery4Me - the wife works for the state HR, he is stay at bully. Hyper vigilant, pushes all boundaries, paranoid (illegal grow). My dog stepped into the common drive behind my place and he threatened me with off leash and calling animal control, on private property. Scary guy.

The second PO I talked with yesterday was a call back. She was great. Understood all the issues, escalation, motivation, and choices. She knows the property very well, and all the tenant DV history with the the lady neighbor I've been helping. T is ex girlfriend, room mate of the Care Taker, and messed up DV issues at that cottage. Now mostly only verbal. T heard about yesterday's outburst and mentioned the same PO that has helped her. T will witness as she has heard some of the abuse and definitely is concerned about the impact on me and my dog. The changes in my dog are significant and disturbing.

Already dealing with electrical issues with landlord (outlets in living room still do not work, and that is also for winter heating!!!) One outlet in kitchen melted down my Cuisinart toaster in 3 seconds. Bought fire extinguishers. Month now with on and off repair to a fuse box that has glass fuses. Looked into tenant laws and WA and this county is appalling. I can involve the gov and have an inspection which they would condemn property (also mold coming out from paint), and if condemned I have 3 days to move.

Darn I want a sail boat.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Add: PO gave me a case number logging my side of this so far and I can call any time for them to come out and contact the neighbor about the ongoing harassment. I will not have to start from zero if it worsens. Some relief in knowing that. @Ka-9. Agree is is about intimidation and submission . Goofy, is that I think some of this is about dogs and that mine behaves and is wonderful and his is not (owner not the dog issues - wagged it's tail when I said hello and good boy - he yelled at his dog in response call it horrible names.)

 

[Recovery4Me]

Darn I want a sail boat.

A camping trailer on payments?

 

[Deleted member 28740]

A camping trailer on payments?

Trailer pad is about $400/mo plus utilities, and no yard at all. Scams on the utility use is widespread also.

And Bella is not a water dog.

T came out just a while ago. I will refer to abusive neighbor as the Trash Man as he seems to have to walk 20 feet away all around the four sides of my property to bring out trash to the bins 3x a day. And a full drive around in a big diesel truck, revving to kick up the gravel when he has his own drive way. So this morning when T called out to me and Bella sitting out my back to him and his place T saw him constantly watching hiding behind a tree. CREEPY.

 

[Recovery4Me]

(((hugs))) This situation is frightening. How long will it take to save to move?

 

[GrayOwl]

I wrote a long response a couple days ago and I wasn't sure if it made any sense and erased it.
I'm still not sure I can offer anything or make any sense.

I'm sorry. You are dealing with a horrible bully. A bully's greatest weapon is to always be changing the tactics to keep you alarmed and on edge. Nice one moment, angry the next, helpful one second, destructive the next. The objective is to always have you feeling "under attack". Most periods of calm are "designed" to put you at ease and lower your guard so that the next attack can be even more volatile and destructive. Their weapon is almost always fear and insecurity. Like the brave little dog that charges at you barking and snarling and then stops two inches away and runs back ten feet and then does it again.

The problem with bullies is they're unpredictable. Because....that's their weapon - unpredictability. And it sounds like he's an ass hole anyway. "King" of the hood with his big truck. It is horridly unpleasant. Most of the time it amounts to nothing more than just horridly nuisance behavior. He's protecting his turf and his grow operation in the only manner in which he knows - that of an abusive, bullying, jackass. And he considers everything everywhere in the neighborhood a threat. Just simply existing has placed you on his radar.

If he thinks he is getting to you, he probably feels he is "winning" and may escalate. But his paranoia will cause escalation at random times toward random targets anyway. Probably the best professional advice I have been given is to try to stay "under" his radar. That can work some of the time but it requires immense patience and you do have to put up with the occasional attack as he ruffles his feathers your direction every time some unknown trigger sets him off - usually nothing at all to do with you. Ouch! Not how I want to live. Second choice, not always a viable choice - move. I agree with the experts - but it is not always feasible. I hope you can find a better place to live though soon with all that you are having to deal with. Can you get out toward a rural area a little more? I'm sure you have checked so many options, sorry. It is daunting. Lastly - choice 3 - you can stand your ground and confront the bully. You need allies and support to do this. You cannot do this on your own. Bullies are actually cowards and are often afraid of authority - but it usually must be absolute - and repetitive - and - AUTHORITATIVE IN A MANNER THEY WILL UNDERSTAND! Otherwise they will feel that they can and need to retaliate more aggressively. They need to understand that the consequences will outweigh the benefits.

It sounds like you and Bella are doing all the right things. I hope you can find some peace and serenity amongst all of the turmoil. If he feels that he has "wrecked" your peaceful viewing of a sunset - he's thrilled. He wants you to feel as if you don't even have the right to view the sun without his permission. I don't know what peace offering you could possibly have that might bring about harmony with the neighbor. Bullies often regurgitate peace offerings and beat you over the head with them so I really can't offer wise insight.

I remember reading this thread a couple days a go and its been weighing on my mind. I really wish there was "dumbass button" that would get rid of all the jackasses - but if there was, someone would have definitely used it on me in my younger days so I guess it's a good thing it doesn't exist.

Wish so much I could help more. I HATE bullies and abuse. Keep records, notes and pictures discretely. Keep people posted, have escape routes and backups in place, police and T on notice. And keep us posted. I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Does it escalate? When to involve police? Just moved last month. Very verbally abusive neighbor l...

Well, you already know one thing that he is doing that is illegal, so you can hinge on that. But you have to prepared for a very angry neighbor if he finds out that you reported him, that is the other side of the coin.

Police here, police there, they can not babysit criminals and it only takes one second for a nut job to go off the deep end.
I myself live in an apartment and there are tons of prostitutes and drug dealers here. The only way I can survive is to absolutely pay no attention to them, to not give any kind of conversation, to not even for one second let my guard down with any of these criminal elements.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Bullies often regurgitate peace offerings and beat you over the head with them so I really can't offer wise insight.

WOW!! That is exactly what happened to start the really nasty abuse. He left 2 small cucumbers on a table I use outdoors. I spend a lot of time outdoors (inside, not just here is a trigger). When I saw him on yet another trash run, I asked if he had left them, and thanked him. Then asked if had heard of agua fresca (cucumber lime water) which is very cooling, refreshing. Temps had gone from mid 60's to 90's in one week.

Later that day (a Sat so wife that I had not met was home from work) I made some and brought over a small pitcher to say thanks and hopefully meet the wife. Wife was on deck seated on a cell phone. Called out hello and raised the pitcher. She YELPED. No hello. Trash man came out another door. I offered the bev. No intro to wife. Ok, then…. just walked the 50' back home. It was the next day I sat in field and all abuse started. Thanks for the insight on the GreyOwl. I am shy, peaceful, quiet and keep to myself. Just normal to me to meet a neighbor, particularly as he is so constantly in close proximity. Really, has to take trash out 3 x a day, starting at 5:30 in the morning??? Sort of bugged me even then hearing someone outside so close to my bedroom window on gravel, crunch, crunch, crunch. Then the loud bang of the lid as he slams it down.

Trying to find place to move. Rural I would love, but housing tends to be large homes, and then either a room mate situation or even more impossible borrowing to pay rent.

The crazy screamer care taker has an amazing dog. Black lab Rottweiler mix. 120 lb lean, with big goofy head and long ears. 4 years old. and only let out of the tiny cottage on a harness with tie up to do his biz. We hit it off, and Bella too. He does not like strangers and barks serious, and lunges. Never at me, He wants a belly rub. Trash man is out and so is BOO BOO. He is barking and lunging. Open my door to see what is causing commotion. Trash man says, "Oh he just wants to play." Me thinking he knows you, and DOES NOT LIKE YOU, AND I WANT TO RUN OVER, LET BOO BOO OFF HIS LEAD AND LET HIM PLAY WITH YOUR SORRY ASS. DId neither. Just nodded, with and under breath hmmm smirk and closed my door. Went over later and gave BOO BOO a dog treat. Liked my face off before even eating the treat.