Very Lonely

[maryjoy]

I saw this on a page I was looking threw that caught my attention. One of the ladies was going through what I am going through now. I was told years ago I had bipolar disorder. have been on every med out there. I have been hospitalized many times for trying to kill myself.

But anyway I am only 43 an my health is bad I have lung cancer and my husband is very mouthy towards me and he is addicted to this game his sister an them got him. I have had enough, I want to leave him an divorce him but I am afraid to. I can't take anymore. He get's mad when I don't speak to him an he get's mad when I do everything I say is not right, he tells me I need to get some common since an he has called me other stuff.

I don't know what to do, I just know I love him but I don't love him.... I am just so scared. I hope I did this right. If someone could please help or tell me something it would mean alot. Because I am so confused. And I am living day by day that's it an praying for that next day.

 

[cherryblossom]

Hi maryjoy

You don't mention PTSD. Do either you or your husband, or someone else you care for have PTSD?
I only ask because this site is primarily for PTSD sufferers and the supporters.

I'm no relationship expert (far from it!). Have you tried to sit down with him and calmly tell him how you feel? Have you considered counselling, either together or apart? Have you thought about maybe spending some time apart, to give yourselves both time to think. Do you have a close friend of family member who you could talk this through with?

There are also practical considerations. If you left, do you have somewhere to go? Would it be better for you to stay, and him to move out? Will you be able to manage financially?

 

[BigBear]

Hi MaryJoy,

I'd suggest reading up through out the site. The expertise here is PTSD. See if you or your husband fit the bill. Otherwise, we won't be much use to you.

Welcome and hope you find something that helps you...

Bear

 

[CraftyCath]

Welcome MaryJoy,

I'm sad to hear you are suffering so much. Please read the PTSD articles and see if they help. Good luck.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

Loneliness is a awful thing. Have you seen a therapist about any of this? You should give the medication for Bipolar disorder a chance, I did and it has helped me a lot. Bipolar can be a very dangerous thing left untreated and will only get worse if you don't take your medication. They recently have a new drug for Bipolar...called saphris. It works well for me, though not to many have heard about it.

And like the others said, find out about the PTSD....

A

 

[Froggie]

Hello MaryJoy. It is already hard enough to deal with a mental disorder but when the intimate relationship is bonkers ... man ... it's almost hell. Hope you found some guidance with the above suggestions.