Veterans Retreat

[Ned]

What! Kamikaze Koalas? OK Jimmy, I've only ever been in the tame 'bush to the south of Canberra. What the hell are Drop Bears?

 

[Jimmy1]

Rumor has it that Koala's cross bred with something else. Now there are savage Koala's that have been know to drop out of the gum tree's on occasions.

Google it.

 

[Ned]

F#@kin'ell! Thats's alarming! Ah, now, wait a minute.....
This might explain picklehaubes. Was there a secret Imperial German recce of Van Deimen's Land in the 19th century?
Hence an explanation for the otherwise weird headgear?
Anti-drop-bear helmet, Prussian PPE?

 

[BV101]

Ned, why are you such a knob? PPE indeed. Everybody knows that these are springloaded (although the early versions from the FPW were hand cranked), sausage stickers. Used for cooking sausages on a naked (yes naked) flame. keeps the square head away from greasy turns, spitting sausages etc.
And the actual flames obviously.
Don't believe me? Get yourself down to antiques roadshow on that there bbc1 and confront Fiona Bruce about it. Anyway, carry on...

 

[BV101]

and if we can have a little camp fire with sausages on it, that would be great.

 

[Ned]

Bollocks to you, you've put the idea of confronting Fiona Bruce in my head, along with naked sausages, and hand cranking, and greasy turns, nurse!

 

[BV101]

Fiona Bruce is on my list. Absolutely. I would make her run up and down stairs until she is sweating like a wart hog. But thats just me...

 

[Ned]

And would she have to wear the picklehaub? Or just a monocle.......

 

[BV101]

ne ne ne! Maskirno Odelo Letnje! Oh as god looks to our Shaheed, I would have her in that. Or a raincoat like Alija!

 

[Wagon]

Holy Shit, Fiona Bruce and aggressive Koala bears dropping from the sky. Crocks and Emu's trying to take a chunk and Kangaroo wating at the end to box the shit out of you.

Gonna be an intersting sleep tonight.

I love Antique Road Show........ Especially when some folks get disappointed....... or the false surprise when people know they have something valuable and they just want to show it off. It's the only reality TV I can handle. Must be getting old.

 

[Ned]

It's the only reality TV I can handle. Must be getting old.

Nope, just sophisticated (just like Alan & I with respect to Fiona Bruce. It's European culture, y'see).

 

[Jimmy1]

There will be no TV at the retreat. I am sure we can entertain each other. We can all sit around and laugh at each other. I might put a harmless tree snake or spider in your beds, that would be funny.

Oh I forgot, I have wheelchair and walking frame access and your 'Pooch's' are welcome. No spouses allowed. Mine is allowed only to restock the fridge and cupboards (f*ck I hope she does not read this)